all these feelings
all these thoughts
all these words
all these poems

for no one.

I love something that doesn’t exist
Something too pure for this world
Something so intense
It makes me feel a feeling like no other
It’s precious to me

Go on, laugh if you wish
But to me, it is more real than life

No one will understand you
The way you understand you
No one will always be there for you
The way you’ll always be there for you
And no one can help you
The way you can help you
So please, help you
The way you know how to

I awake from an eternal sleep
All around me reeks, with the beats
Of the beats of every being around me
I close my eyes and beg for the sounds to stop
But their forced open by my biological clock
I learn to walk, then to talk, and then I’m filled with so many thoughts

At night I stay awake and think, and think, and think
Never even stopping to blink, as I continually think
Why am I here? Where is here? What am I?
And nobody can answer.
“Life’s a gift”, they say, “be grateful you’re here”
“Respect your parents” they command so very clear

So I do as they say, I listen to every command
I remain calm, I remain sane, despite my brain’s insanity
Despite my own wishes, despite my dreams, that one day I shall be free
Not by the clutches of man, but by the imprisonment of my being
By my cell that is my body, by my vessel that is limiting
That not to death shall I do it part, no button for a restart

But I keep trying, I’m kind to every person I meet
But repeat after repeat, the response I get is bleak
Like I’m a freak, like I can’t connect with those around me
And slowly, I learn the truth about this world
The horror that everything is wrong, there is nowhere to belong
I can’t connect to people and they can’t connect to me

We’re trapped, forever to suffer in existence
But people look at it from a distance, because the truth is too painful
Too much for one man to understand, too consuming of the mind
Knowledge is a poison, it’ll rot you from inside
Over time, you’ll find that your parents were not kind
To let you come into this world with everyone but you in mind

Life is not a gift, it’s a curse
Out of all fates, it’s the worse
I will not continue to immerse in the lie
The truth we try to hide, the truth that we fool ourselves
Thinking we have worth, that one day we won’t just be dirt
That the good out weighs the bad is nothing but a scam

You are a victim, just as I
Don’t let society tell you otherwise
But please don’t cry, or be consumed with hate
Embrace the fact you have a choice to let your genes die
No need to multiply, stop your bloodline
And one day, you’ll be allowed to sleep again.

“How do I feel about humanity?”
That’s a question I’ve once been asked
But in order to keep all my sanity
I gently smiled and answered with “pass”

Obsession
Depression
The badness
This madness
These words
Although simple
Perfectly capture
My sadness

Sweet, sweet child
So pure to the eyes
How could anyone hate
A soul as innocent as thine?

So when a child is born
Let’s celebrate the birth
To only slowly watch…
His innocence...
Be dearth

World, you hurt me
You make me feel good
To only give me pain later
Simply because,
You’re cruel

They pretend to look
They pretend to try
They pretend to care
To distract from lies

From the beating of the heart
Their heart skips a beat
Not from love or care
From the fear of defeat

They give into their nature
Like we all do in the end
For no man can die
From the kindness of a friend

Compassionate lips
Bound to lying eyes
As you search to cure
Your grieving cries

They pretend to look
But they’re all...
Just looking...
At themselves.

The sun shine scorns on the land which we are
No inch is not tainted with the stench of death
We have left our home, and traveled afar
To only now embrace our final breath

The hill of dead pile up, more and more
Some of the dead being as young as eighteen
No happiness that the future might store
Could be worth the price of blood we’ve seen

Like animals, are purpose is to die
Being canon fodder is our fate from birth
Happier is one who never questions why
One in ignorance, believing their worth

Next war for our sons, as they too must pall
Would be much better to not be born at all!

What is the meaning to walk, to wail the way
I hold dear to me what’s not and shame what’s what
No meaning, for meaning is meaningless, just as meaningless is meaningless
But what if purpose?
Is meaning purpose?
Most do not think this; though I do
Those words are similar, but not same
I walk, cry, think, live suffer for you

For you are purpose.