I'm another
textbook
definition
of what
the kids
shouldn't
be.

(10w)
-Andrew Durst.

I will NOT be the girl
That pines away for you
Fish or cut the bait
Cause there might be someone new
And I can't see his eyes
Cause you're blocking my view

I always pick up paper if I see it on the floor
Curious the thoughts of the person before
Possibilities make it blank or an old receipt
But something in me hopes it's someone's secret to keep
Or the caring words of a lover to his lovebird
Maybe the thoughts of a wandering mind not heard
It could be the lyrics to a strangers favorite song  
Maybe it's a letter that was lost for oh, so long
Words are what's inside us, it is our heart untold
So maybe I'm a seeker of a stranger's soul
Or maybe it's no stranger, but someone met before
Maybe it is your soul that I am looking for.

my hair's getting long, love
about as long as you would have liked
long enough to pull and squeeze
when we shared our kaleidoscopic bliss at night

people i haven't seen in a while
all have something to say
"hey man, i didn't know that was you!" they joked
last night as i set up my gear on stage

i'm glad you asked me to grow it, my fallen love
it's getting to the perfect length;
long enough to make me invisible
but long enough to give me strength

you see i always wanted to be a ninja
wear the ponytail of a samurai
i always thought it would just be cool
but last night i discovered why:

so i can be invisible to your love, my dear
like a ninja in the night
my hair will guide me right past you
without getting caught in the light

i'll slip right through your fingers
as my hair would slip through yours
using every new millimeter of every follicle
to remind me how long I can be strong for

the next time i see you, sweet dream
you won't even recognize me, i pray
i can only hope my heart won't be made of stone,

and just maybe

you'll be in the mood to talk to strangers that day

Eyes on me.
I know they wander   thigh  to   thigh
                    Girls passing by in skirts
      shorter  
                  than
                         ­ mine
Eyes on the prize wave goodbye to
               Pretty girls passing by
Please let me be the
                                    pretty
                     ­          one
                    tonight.

You can replace me,
I'm expendable, I'm replaceable
I was a moment, you were a scene
In a movie that we developed
Of an unexpecting dream.

The one that came with the kiss on the forehead goodnight
The one that came with the ability to calmly sleep at night
I remember...(laughing) I remember these moments
& at times I know you do too.. I know you still feel my hands in yours...I know...nothing. I can't think this through...
I know when I breath this cold air, my lungs start to freeze, but how can you convince a scared mind to tell the heart to truly see what it wants to see? Me. I know when I look up at the stars, my heart starts to beat..I knew when I heard the door open...that was you ready to leave.
I have to stop! I have to take my palms and close them into non aggressive fist, I have to stop holdin on to hope and let go of this. You told me my words were magic..Yet, I can't form a sentence to convince you of our old bliss..

(Closed eyes flashback)
"please! don't! Don't give me one last kiss."* *Sadly I remember this.

The horror of the knife digging deep inside me, the scar I forever walk with.
I can't live like this! and continue to survive on your leftover venom, your seduction through your captivating eyes, your temptation from the shape of your denim.

**Soaked spots on the page,I know my days may get better..I just hope one day this gets to your heart, my eventually heals, I just hope you get this letter.