If you think deeply enough about it,
Even words with good intentions,
Are kind of terrifying.
You could say something so sympathetic,
Aiming to try and help,
But instead you load thoughts into their head.

"It's okay that you feel like that,
They misused your trust,"
But it's only then they realise,
Exactly what it sounds like,
So instead of being completely comforted or consoled,
They end up thinking:
Well if it's like that then I should feel like 'this'.

The truth is when other people phrase what's happened to you,
Often it hits you a different way
Than you have been looking at it.
Sometimes you start to form schemas,
Of how you should feel,
Or you just prove the evidence shows that it's right to feel this way,
And not just right, but that it's the only method to deal with it.
Someone speaks about how you've been hurt,
And how you should try not to let it impact your trust,
So instead you realise what happened means,
In your head now, that you should always let it influence you.
It's a bit messed up,
But that's how it can be.

It's almost like I crave what I'm scared of
Then when it's right there in front of me
It's too close,
Has got to go
And I'm fearful beyond possible belief.

She's hurting inside
The longer she cries
Deep blue eyes
Drowned out goodbyes

One day she wakes up and sighs,
"What now?" She asks,
This is escalating further,
To the point that she's screaming at herself,
"What am I supposed to do now?"
She sinks back down,
Onto her bed,
She can't go to sleep,
She's too upset.

Alone and angry or numb,
There's no in between,
She is either raging or happy as can be,
Sometimes she wonders if she's actually
Feeling anything.