I finally returned home
After a lingering day
I looked into the mirror
my steaming tears snake down my face but I push down my sorrows long enough to forget
The smell of warm sheets right out of the dryer cuddled my body like a tight expecting hug
As I placed my hand upon my heated cheek
I could feel the dampness of my warm skin
I shouldn't worry about a thing right now but I do
Ready to sleep under the glow in the dark stars where my life centered beneath at this time of sorrow
I drift off
--- 6am ---
My eyes abruptly explode open
It's so dark
I can't make out anything
Trying to drift back asleep but my eyes won't close
I try to get up but a force stops me
Moving a muscle is impossible at this point
I opened my mouth to scream in terror but It takes my breath away
I can faintly make out its face
It's me
A perfect copy of my every feature
She doesnt think the same ways as me nevertheless
Taunting me
All my fears spit out her teeth
Just like that she's gone
Now It takes the shape of my loved ones
Surrounding me
They hold me down while I am sleeping and brag how they are perfect

I have indeed lost my mind
Stuck in a never ending catacomb of mixed emotions
You keep coming back into my life
And every time
I rearranged my bones to create a place for you to stay  
My throbbing knees scabbed over
From crawling back to you over and over
I shower you with love until you drown
Because I never learned to love
So I always give too much
When I’m around you
My lungs forget to inflate and collapse
So I choke on my words
I can't breathe
Why do I keep coming back?
Is it because he smells of my childhood home
And that gives me hope and comfort?
Or is it because he takes the numbness away
I would rather feel despair than pure nothingness
I cant distinguish love from comfort
So every time you go back to her
I’ll be here
Waiting