Is self love a figment of my imagination?
Because all I feel is self hatred.
I look in the mirror everyday disgusted with who I've become,
Not because I think I'm ugly
But because I think I'm beneath the lowest of ****.

Its a process slower than I'd like,
much like a young girl learning how to ride her very first bike.

Healing.

I can feel the hope wiggle in my toes,
though my head is still filled with a plague of darkness drowning in my woes.

Healing.

I can't see light at the end of the tunnel just yet,
but I can feel its warmth trying to find my hardened silhoutte,

It's called healing.
The process of new growth after something has been broken down,
much like my spirit beaten to the ground.
But I have to keep pushing,
living for a brighter day.
Hopefully all this will mean something,
even if it means nothing til the next life,
A place where my body and my mind aren't in constant strife.

I've began the healing process,
even if the finish line is still far away.
But all I can do is hope for a brighter day.

I long to be loved
So I love
I long to be seen
So I see
I long to be believed
So I believe
I long to be prayed for
So I pray for
I long to be validated
So I validate
I long to be the inspiration for poems
So I allow people to inspire me to poetry
I long to be accepted
So I accept
I long to be understood
So I work to understand
I long to be appreciated
So I easily appreciate
I long to be pleasing
So I am easily pleased
I long to be art
So I make art

As time moves forward
             It makes
                It takes
                   Breaks apart
When torn asunder
             It shatters
                Scatters
                   Seeds new starts
The living Scars
             Heave
                 Breath
                    Shine like stars
Thier consequence illuminates
              The world at large
A beautiful display
              As if divine art
Oh to woe
              To err
                  To know
                       To hold
The Human Heart

Some voices are silent
Because they have nothing
Meaningful to say

Some voices are silent
Because they know perfectly
Words have weight

Some of them walk away
Because they don’t understand you
And are too indifferent to try to
Anyway

But
Some of them won’t stay
Because they feel too much
To not be hurt by the smallest things
You may say

They both feel the same way
Silent, indifferent, hurtful and
Angry
So, you keep your hopes up
And pray
So, you never yield your love
And wait

But, don’t wait
A soul that will love you
Like you love them
Will also be the same

You are one that feels everything
And so every little thing hurts you
In every possible way
You are impossibly and impractically
Stubborn
You will believe something again and again
And you will love with all of you
No matter how many times you’ve been hurt

But you love in your own way
Unreserved, unyielding, loud
Yet sometimes completely
Silent

You are covered in calluses
And so are they
There are simple words
You struggle to say
And like you
They will take the littlest things
In the worse way

You are exactly the same
Yet, when you are together
You might seem universes away

If you wait
They will wait
A soul perfect for you
Might never come your way
Even if you’re right next to each other
At the same place

The mirror will only reflect what’s right in front of your face

That soul might love you for all of eternity
Till the end of time and space
But
If you wait
Their love might be words
You will never hear them say

Because, everyone wants to feel safe
And everyone wants to be loved
And not someone whose heart
Gets to be thrown away

They would rather keep quiet
Than to loudly love anyone
That they might love back
Bare and purely, with an open heart
So prone to be hurt

So, don’t wait
Love bravely with your already callous heart
Those that seem to back away
And don’t give up
The most beautiful souls will take eternity
To feel safe.

The tranquility of a bliss divine
is no closer to me than it be to
a Donkey at a ditch after he has
just ****** on an electric fence.



Play link SVP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2EDcnvr6iA