Shine as the first rays of the captain does,
Enriching the sea, that my heart pumps throughout my body,
and let me bask under thy holy light,
and welcome this new spring.
Let the meadows bloom under thy cold December light.
And let the rivers flow like summer wine.
Burn,
Burn those shriveled sticks, yellowed leaves of the frozen summer when the war begun,
And let thy fire enrich the very air i breathe.
Make me your canvas and paint me in your hues of spring and cold
Like mists on the morning sky where birds take flight to places far far away,
Or like the beating rays when the captain steers it's wheel up the sea .
Take me back, back to those merry hours and back yet more
Make me a planet of that galaxy long extinct
And let me pray,
Pray to thee, in thy long forgotten temples
Singing you chants of a thousand forgotten years,
And seek my redemption in your many priceless blessings.
Amen.

Your heavens smiled down the sun for me,

in your clouds I have lost my soul.

or maybe it was my goal
to merge into your white fluffy oblivion.

The child that was never born,

The lad of fifteen forever gone

But its in your golden grass and amber lights

that had me withdrawn, far from this unreal "reality"

to a place were they both belong.

Then come what thunder, come what rain. Come what scorching heat, they in vain,
will fall over and cast away

Whilst i float in your lake of indie songs.

You are my precious december night, you are my spring so golden and bright

you are the friend i always desired, you are my weakness, my greatest might.

The sand clock will bring me soon afloat

like a fish, out from my water of life, and will gloat my soul with a world so "real"

and my smiles and cheers and laughter and joy were doomed, since the day they started

but even when we have departed

you will be an everlasting perfume.

Filling my life with your essence

FOREVER!

I will leave shortly
Bid me farewell with your magnetic smile and icy tears
Hug me tight one last time before my body and soul lose touch with you forever,
Sway your trees and cool my heart with your air, ask your stars to dot the night sky
And let me breathe you full and clear
And curse you for being my everything so quickly,
And fading away from me even faster.
Burn me, make me want you more, I want to be ripped apart in your attachment.
I will leave shortly, be my favorite song
play and enrich my life, and end after a while.

My eyes cant cry a river, so it just rains a puddle

if you'll look into its water you'll find, a huddle
of colours. A rainbow imperfect

Of the smiling yellows and the joyful reds

of the calming green, that had spread
like the mist over those meadows serene.

The painful black, the somber grey, had also found a way,
to enter my rainbow green

But for the sun that you lit in the sky of my eyes, a thousand such eclipses can I take.

I thought my dusk was eternal, and only the night was waiting ahead,

but for this sudden morning when my 15 yo self, came crawling out from being dead

give me a hundred lashes, and more I won't care,

for I'm still at my prime, I'm still singing and laying and whistling and running, in my dreamy flowery bed.

Shadow dawns
Of a woods, it's old
Its leaves form a canopy of lead that the sunlight gold
Cannot trespass.
Its air smells of ages, which are now mere tales
Of men and elves who rose and fell
In this ever mighty tide of time
Which now has brought us to this shore of wastes. Far from those days sublime.
The woods still are drenched with the past
In its brown so opaque and its hymns so deep
In its green so transparent, in its void that'll last
Forever.
The litter is dry, hear it crumble and cry
As it weeps with joy in every step you take.
You'll find me there, standing silent and still. While I wait to make
A single last visit with a fate that I'd met eons ago.
The wind brings in joy, sings of a destiny, I had dreamt
Of a love which I can't see, or tell. A pleasure that can't be held or bent.
But like the wind it runs and like the wind it fills
Your soul with oxygen and life, and will
Like a wind flow pass without letting a second to turn.
Oh, my love, my woods, my lights, my trees.
How farther will you have me run, how long before I finally be free
In you, for eternity.

You are my precious pearls,

my emerald heart that beats with joy,

when your golden tinge holds my breath like a Bing, on a Netflix show.

I can bid my life a foy, just to carried away by your flow.

Take me back to decades ago and take me furthermore,

show me tales and make me dream of times I can never explore

play the songs before you go, like those credits that roll after a show

you are the sea I wanna drown myself forever. And forever more.

wash my bruises as you pass, and tell the sun it has come too fast

tiny moments when my soul and mind enriches, goes away before it even starts

you're the greener grass I crave, but I've come here just too late

so in songs and stars and in your wunderbars, is where my fate I will await.

Nights are tempests,
an ocean of life full of lofty, violent waves,
enough to crush the mightiest ship to splinters,
and ours is just a fishing boat.
"Hold the mast steady!" your insides scream,
For this is but another bad dream,
or maybe a wrong brush stroke on a masterpiece canvas,
"So hold on lads, the day will clear the storm"
grip tight to your ship, and let these monsters go where they came from
"...for the morning is near"
so you close your eyes and wait out the waves, the rain, and the salty spray
and when it is finally day,
you see the morning sky had made the ordeal a memory,
and your ship goes along the flow, through the gentle breeze and sober waves
only that there's no crew left, so gaze again at the beautiful ocean of life.

You came an unexpected gift

and a surprising one too.

And as they placed a label which read

"most valuable" and that I should instead take you by heart

and remove all other arts which were sketched on my mind,

I obeyed,

but opening the wrapper I couldn't find what was promised,

you.

You weren't what they labelled, but I still found you quite intriguing,

as you changed colours like a chameleon, shapes like water

from me struggling with breathing, to those sacs of boulders

which hung from my shoulders to those numerous lashes and beatings,

their scars which I could still find on those tunnels of my mind, the more I grew older.

But they kept insisting still that the label was not mistaken

and that it was just a while uphill when I would finally feel your thrill

and  that you would be what your label said all the time

"the most valuable gift that I could ever find"

but instead I found a compensation. Some reparations'

for a ******, a war and those thousands of hours of blood on trail underneath this hill

you were an unexpected gift, a surprising one too

but an unnecessary one still.

Fragility,
It's like a house of cards
No matter if gold or paper
All it takes is just a gentle gust,
A fragile touch
And you break down into oblivion.
Fear,
It's like ripping two conjoined twins apart
An ant on an island stark
Of mammoths.
Pride,
A drop of blood on a napkin it tries
To drench it red like a cherry
Only to find it soaked and dry
A stone's throw for a falling berry
Love,
It is but a red shade still
Of a stretching meadow of daffodils
On a small hill
Red shade of the sky and red shade of sun
Red colour of flowers
and a RED fragrance.

Tick, tick, tick, they move steady with untiring feet
They break and they loot, and they plunder and shoot, and they March on the tick by tick
They step with every beat, through shower and Frost and heat
And they'll make you a part of an un beating heart as they March on the tick and repeat.
A river of troops, they sweep
Their canons break full and deep
And one moment you cry and in the next you're dry and you're washed away into the heap.
They wash all memories vain
Or on books they're best retained
But still a few soul are brave and bold,
For a while longer they fight and keep their hold
Blows from the present numerous they sustain, and blows more from this river cold.
I've read and heard of thy master's tales
Of their beanstalk rising and angel fails
But as long you stand this marching band
Of flesh and blood will they still prevail
And not be residents of a fantasy land.
So let your defenders shout in vain
Let them die in thousands for every awe it gains
For blessed are those who submerge than break
And blessed we more to see you make,
This losing battle.

I looked at the sky last night

when the sun after shining bright, for half the day

had given way to this floating dome

to show the colours of its own

A billion stars like a billion rings

adorned the billion ears up high

like fireflies who with frozen wings

got stuck in a canvas blue to die

a thousand shades the canvas bled

or was it just messy art instead

of a child who spilled water colours together

and gazed at the dancing blues, whites and red

the canvas was heavy, the canvas was light

like a billion mammoths on a cosmic flight

but it's a dancing picture it never keeps still

and soon all the stars and the moonlight will

give the sun the stage as it'll cry a dawn

and this illusion will then be gone

and my sprinting clock will take a turtle's pace

as I'll wait for another night with my mind ablaze.

we both stay empty and desolate

you live in the darkness of everyday chores

living a thankless life, the only remark getting is how time inefficient you are

only if i could tell you that your son is not far

away from that dark pit in which you prolly have been for decades now

dear mom,

at least you can still complain about how we don't see you work hard all day

and just scream mindlessly when the food

you made lacked some salt, or wasn't that good

and only difference with your son being

that he cries on a notepad, feeling the shame to shed those tears in real life as he learnt every man should

dear mom,

my tear glands have grown bankrupt, have i gone too numb?

but then a part of me always burns whenever you think i don't care, about you and dad, for you think, i think you are too dumb

but i tried to start a conversation on the dinner table last night

until it became a fight yet again, but its okay for this pain isn't new

i guess its because my notepad doesn't speak much, that's why it knows how much i crave even so much as a touch

from someone, let alone a hug, that'd be too much

dear mom,

maybe you were true all along

maybe its me in the wrong

else why do i have my notepad and cat

and no-one else

karma is a true ***** indeed then it seems

dear mom,

you know its fun when you can tell that a dream isnt real

even when you are dreaming

for the only the only chats i've been having lately is when my eyes are shut

but i cant tell you that for i lack the guts to say or to anyone else around me for that matter

that hey i think i am feeling a bit gay lately although i am straight still

does that make me tilt

towards being partly bi?

but yeah, i'd prolly die than say that loud

and i really don't know how this wall between us came about

and i don't know if this divide will ever break

or will it be my soul corroding away bit by bit

but don't you worry mama, imma love you still as i did when i was five

and tell dad i admire how much he does for us for i cant ever say him even that much

i'm sorry for everything.....

Hunger pangs are hard to bear

when streams of acid flows through the linings of your gut

and your body and mind and soul unite in one of the rarest few occasions of your life

all screaming the same need

its hard to bear

ask a starving beggar what priceless means and he'd prolly show you the rotten morsels he found near the trash can on which he will feast his week long starving hunger for a week more

dysentery and diarrhea doesn't exist in his world of hunger

and perhaps filling the tummy with heaps of rotten trash and dying after is better than dying without having anything

and I get it still, for a part of us lives on what we grow and ****

but when the stomach replaces the heart

and once again the mind meets the body and soul, shouting this time for a different food

will you be a beggar still and feed yourself the nearest dirt you find just to keep your tummy filled?

because you will die otherwise?

or will you?

cant we be just plants sometimes and produce our own food like forever? I keep wondering.....

I am quite skinny but I find it fair

for never did I care to lift barbells in the air

but the muscles of my mind I strangely cannot find

although they have been lifting ever since I could stare

I was dead for a billion years before
And i will be dead for a billion more
It's this trickling time between
That i perform on life's dancing floor

A dance, a terrible one it is
I weep and cry, I slumber i please
As the waves of living go up and down
I wish more wokeness, I wish more sleep

The most powerful of creatures, unbound and free
The greatest thinker who could ever be
You smallest of specks, an insignificant wee
I feel it in you, you feel it in me.

The softest of breeze the darkest of nights
The largest of beings who blinds the light
We've been all tapping around this dancing floor
We're all gems of a crown or too less for it's might

Like them triplets in their never ending lore
You'll have me lost yet you'll fine me more
Lend an ear to me then and you'll find me dancing still
For i was dead for a billion years before
And I will be dead for a billion more