Isn't it fascinating?
Telling you they're down
Telling you they're suffering

Isn't it amusing?
Telling you they give up
Telling you they want the end

Pessimism fills their statement
Dejected faces
Inconsolable souls
Shells impossible to move

Yet it amuses me more
Their smiles
Their laughter
Their permanent changing masks

Their tears
They wipe off
As if it's a raindrop
Just happened to come down

How does it feel?
To be in pain
To hurt
To be happy

How does their life go?
Having more marks
More than in my system?

It must be really amusing

That road I planned
Is merely a plan.
No dent, no mark,
No foot print of mine.
A clean canvass
With no acrylic colors,
An untouched paper
Without a sketch.

Sometimes I think
What road should it be.
Mine or theirs,
What should it be.

I go with mine,
I'll be happy
Right?

There I stood.
There I ached.
There I cried.
There I hoped.

Must be a dream
Or a nightmare
Just far from reality.

Reminiscing the days,
Just you and me.
Not a glance of her,
Nor echo of her voice.

You were happy,
I was happy,
Both of us were happy.
Right?

I told you my love
You did the same.
Thrice.

Told me of going back time
I asked if you're willing.
Making the sacrifice.

What we have now
It should be enough.
Yet the feels of seeking more
keeps creeping in.

Thoughts of regrets
Not making the mistake.
Longingness and misses
Wouldn't have to exist.

I love you
But you have her.
And though you love her,
You love me still

Indeed difficult,
Letting go the emotions.
Yet holding on,
Bigger and deeper wounds,
More than to bare.

I love you
Yet you have her.
Her with your angels
Beautiful, soon to come out.

I'll be happy
You'll be happy
We'll both still be happy.
Won't we?

Easy to say to not give up
Find that help
That glimmer of hope
Hang on

"Those will pass soon"
"I'm here for you"

"Tell me
I'll try to help"

You've tried
Tried countless times

To hang on
To work it out
To breathe
To still live

I did try
I did ask for help

But I'm tired
I've lived enough
Been tormented enough

I'm so tired.
Haven't said my goodbyes
But my life ends here.

I've been wandering
And it's been a while

I've been thinking
And it's been a while

I've been silent
And it's been a while

I've been searching
And it's been a while

I've been hiding
And it's been a while

It has always been a while