I never looked both ways
             when I fell in love..

And was hit hard
                   bruised & cut
         I healed.

I looked both ways
              when I saw you
on the other side.

This time I waited.

       You asked me
               why I crossed this
road again?

And I said because if the
            chicken can do it..

With that she laughed.
      smiling she asked

"Would I cross any road,

I said, only yours to see what awaits
                                 on the other side

You maybe out of my range, but I'd love to show you my domain.

I feel alone when I close my eyes
the feeling leaves me paralyzed.
It traps me in the cyclical thinking
that I alone, will never be enough.
I should just give up.

No thoughts were thrown around,
let alone conscious decisions bound
in clear evidence and concrete fence-post facts.

She was awake before the frost settled,
and my how her eyes showed the time:
Lengthy red lines pretending to be hands that chimed.

The parkland grasses awaited the
speckled dappled, sunlight shade,
to warm its back in the morning masquerade.

-

Only her body was thrown around,
alone across a car bonnet
in a clear honest, beautiful smudge of fashion and blood.

She would never awake the same again,
and how the nurses soothed her pain
with modern miracle, clear liquid rain, medicine.

The parkland grasses still await the
speckled dappled, sunlight shade,
to warm its back in the morning death march masquerade.

ever since the first time i watched ---, i imagined what my afterlife would be like. i never tell this to anyone but i hope it's a garden, with yellow flowers. i write about the sun's heat that doesn't make your sweat or irritated, and i hope that sun is there too.

a part of me wants to be alone and just stay there, until my world dies too. a part of me wants me to be with j, with my little brother, with my grandmother, i think that afterlife would be perfect.

every night recently, i've hoped it's my last. closing my eyes every night, only to see your face, makes me hope that they'll stay closed so i can see you every second again.

but i wake up again. and my dreams of my afterlife, the yellow flowers, the sun, my loved ones, are all gone. again.

I'vE lOsT tRuE fRiEnDs

I've been a lost friend too

I'vE sAiD i'Ll NeVeR lOve

And I've said, "Love you."

I'vE bRoKeN mY fAmIlY, mY fAiTh, AnD mY hEaRt

I don't remember my real smile or how to have fun

It'S tRuE wHeN tHeY sAY OnLy tHe GoOd DiE yOuNg

Some people are so stuck on who I was
that who I am never even had a chance.

i want to hug you the way,
winnie the pooh hugs the piglet