It’s funny...
There are nights...
when the crickets sing and the breeze at night is warm..
I find myself craving you..
Your touch.
Your kiss, that stopped time.
Passion that engulfed my soul.

I miss a lie.
Because you were never real.
And neither was your love.

Sometimes I pretend you’re real.
Kissing me with such passion it lights me up like all the stars in the sky.

Call me crazy.
****, Call me what you will.
But I think karma is really real.

Live a life full of wickedness.
**** everyone over.
Lie..
Cheat..
And steal..
Then repeat.
And do it all over.

Don’t forget to play the victim.
Don’t forget to smile.
You’ve put on a real good show.

You’ve played the part so well.
You’ve played them all so well.
You think you’ve won.
But nothing lasts forever.....
Because karma’s a bad *** *****.

I placed my heart in your hands..
That summer, long ago.
So naive.. so pure before I let myself go.

It was there I fell for you.
Behind that Oklahoma sky.
In love with a man who had the devils grin.

These are all faded memories, scattered, deep within my mind. Places I never visit.
Places I never give any of my time.

The only evidence left in these memories, is one undeniable truth...
.
If you had never ripped my heart in two,
I would have never become bran new.

I had no idea who I was back then.
All I knew was that I loved you.

Who knew,
That I’d find strength from the pain.

I have you to thank for showing me my greatest lesson I’ve learned thus far.
Thank you for breaking my heart, it was the worst pain I’d ever felt.

It took you not loving me at all, for me to fully and completely, love myself.

I thought of you today...
****...
It’s been at least a year...

Thanks to Halsey...
But I can’t complain..
Music is beautiful that way..

In the sense where a song can be so beautifully written, with lyrics that depict all the things you experienced, and especially all that you wanted to say but couldn’t.

****...
(I hold back a laugh...)
This is kind of painful...
I shake you off.
My heart only associates you with pain.
I won’t let myself go back there.
But I can’t deny these lyrics.....
Because they were our story for the longest time...


I am speechless because I never expected a song to pull that ******* the heart strings of my past.

George Bernard Shaw once wrote: "There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."

Obviously, Shaw had his heart broken once or twice, in his life.

But when you experience it yourself, what are you going to do give up? Quit? No. Not me.

I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are.
You may feel as if you're lost.
As if you've lost yourself.
But we're never lost forever.
And that pain you feel? That ache in your stomach...
That sting in your heart....
That's life.
The confusion and fear?
That's there to remind you of one very important thing.
And that is that somewhere out there, is something better, and it's not always going to be easily found or easy to happen.
But it will, and that something is worth fighting for.

In my thirty two years of life I’ve come to the conclusion that if having things turned out the way i wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say I’m a failure.

I don't know a lot about life, and I'm nowhere near the realm of perfection. But If there's anything I've learned it's to not to be bitter over life’s disappointments.
You will come to a place in your life where you will learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won’t be sunny, with rainbows and talking unicorns.

But, when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair that is sometimes just life....
Remember it’s only in the black of the night that you will see stars. And those stars will lead you back home and where you need to be.

You're never forever lost, although it may feel that way.
You've just lost your own way.
So don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall on bruised knees, because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most.

I chose to look at the positive sides of things...
For instance, maybe you’ll get everything you wish for.
Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined.
Who really ever knows where life is going to take you.

This road called life is a long one and in the end, the journey is your destination.