I know you might think life is unfair.
I know you might be frustrated and angry.
I know you feel like you can't get ahead sometimes.
I know you want fancy things.
I know you want to excel in life.
I know you may get lonely sometimes.
I know you miss your friends, all the people you once thought had your back that are now gone.
I know you may think, maybe you've had your happiness, with a man you once loved.. your first love, who took you for granted and took all your love.
I know you think there's nobody out there who could ever possibly love you.
I know there are days you doubt yourself. You think maybe this is all you'll become.
This is all I'll ever be.
Mediocre...
Living pay check to pay check where nothing in life is free.
Thinking I'll never amount to anything.


Dear future self listen carefully,

If I could I'd shake you silly.
I know life gets extremely hard, and there's nothing you can do about it....

Certain things, situations in our lives will be out of our control.

Except one thing.

Ourselves.

We can control how we choose to look at our lives. We control how we choose to react to certain situations, and the people in our lives.

So future self, when you find yourself... mind body heart and soul laying in the gutter with not even a glimmer of hope for better days, remember this if nothing else.

You are not your past, or what has happened to you there. Just because you went through it does not mean it defines who you are.

You can choose your own destiny if you never allow yourself to loose hope.

You are beautiful.
Worthy, and worthy of being loved by the right person.
You're not the ****** situation you may be in.
You can rise above any circumstance that has brought you to your knees because you are more than any obstacle or fear that has hindered your path temporarily.

You ******* got this, and I believe in you.


I love you,


Sincerely, future self

An old man sat down next to me today on a park bench.

He didn't say anything to me at first, I was busy running through my own head.

But his soft raspy voice wrapped in experience broke through and stopped my thoughts.

Without looking at me he leaned forward and said....

"You are a strange, rare, kind of beautiful. You have that kind of magic about you that is radiant and intimidating, it has scared many away. But don't be fooled. Because only the foolish will ever run away, always coming back when it's too late."

I was speechless as I slowly turned to him searching for words searching for anything to say, but all that escaped was a tear down my cheek.
He finally looked over at me, giving me a toothless grin that about reached his wise blue eyes.  He patted my shoulder, without saying another word he stood and went on his way, leaving me with nothing but the greatest two gifts I'd ever received.