Awkward ,
I don't know what to say to you ,
forcefully concealed anger has rendered me speechless .
Mentally constructed essays of hurt , disappointment and pain, speeches I'll never say .
We all know who's to blame ,
but we walk on eggshells, remembering what's right to say.
Tension plagues our home ,
it's the weight of unassigned blame ,
hanging in the air ,
no one brave enough to drop it on its rightful heir.

Here's a little secret,
The world doesn't know what it wants.
It'll glorify you today and then ridicule you the very next for the exact same thing,
you will never be happy living for the world,
it won't let you, believe me I've tried.
You'll be the poster child for beauty today and then tossed out the next,
school will be the best thing for you today and then the worst tomorrow,
corporate is powerful,
the cornerstone of success today,
tomorrow it's boring and you're pegged a mindless robot.
So stop looking to the world,
It's a mess.

Hope, you treacherous thing!
You keep me pining,
waiting,
fighting.
Pieces of me keep disappearing between her cracks,
I'll never get them back,
let me loose before there's nothing left.

I mean I never expected loyalty, but wow,
I thought you'd at least stay past morning coffee,
that your words would last in the clarity of day,
that they weren't but the mist of our breaths in the warm hold of your embrace,
that for once I was good enough to make you stay,
anyone,
someone
stay.

The Challenge
(Day 18)
What is it you stand to gain?
Playing with hearts like cards, is this a game?
This isn’t poker, this isn’t snooker, why you playing with these  hearts as if you’re playing soccer?
This pain my heart can no longer nest
Can’t believe I was a pawn in this game of chess
How did I get caught up in this mess
Believing you were pure good nothing else
Alas you are evil with the “d” I would belittle your cruelty if I called you anything less

Who takes a breastfeeding child from its mother only to dump it in a slum with no one to cater to?

Who cuts open a stitched laceration only to watch it rot so a limb gets amputated.

When did love become so merciless and unkind?

When has God ever played games with His likeness, their minds?

Why say I do before a crowd of witnesses only to act like you don’t behind closed doors?

Why promise forever when life with you makes a visit from death better?

Why pretend you’re gentle a dove,  when you’re a vulture, all claws?

Why wear a robe of integrity when the skin underneath is only known for breaking the law?

What’s the prize?
Why do all these hearts have to pay the price?

Are you ever going to end this cycle
Is this going to be an endless vicious circle?


r3d

#yararewa  
#northernstar  
#roadtorecovery #everythingipretendtobe #realrawandsimple #welearnasweteach
#writingright
#firesofr3d

Assignments, tests, exams,
I spent my days behind a desk.
White shirt, black skirt,
yes, all I do is type and page.
Oh, don't worry,
they're very fond of reminding me what a disappointment I am to humanity,
me who elects to be a well paid slave in someone else's company,
me with no good ideas.
Funny,
I've been down this road before, I've faced this criticism before,
but I was not deterred, not me,
I'll work hard and I'll be successful, that'll show them.
They told me I was destined for great things as they handed out trophies of merit on that stage,
I believed them,
they lied.

Bitterness hugs my heart,
jealousy tugs at me,
constantly working hard but no big breaks for me.
Giving it my all to no avail, how come?
How do bad girls with good hair surpass me when all I'm doing is what's right?
I'm trying so hard to break free but despair keeps welling up inside me, giving up would be so easy but even that is not an option for me.
Why do others get dealt the winning hand from birth?
Is struggle suppose to be synonymous to me?
Hard work is not all its cracked out to be,
unfortunately that's my reality.