As I sit here
And think
God, it seems like it's all I do
Maybe I need a break

But then me
My inner self
She scolds me
Telling me no

And so I continue
Wherever I may be
To think
Whether the thoughts be good or bad

I hate this
This awful feeling
Overwhelmed
That's what I am

Maybe I should destroy her
My inner self, of course
As long as it takes this
This cursed pain away

A long
Long time ago
There was a
Glimmering
Inviting
River

It ran through my town
T'was like a brick wall
No one could pass it
Yet we adored it
Just the same

My family and I
We'd all sit along it
Stuffing our faces with tasty sweets
Meanwhile running our tiny hands
Through the river's soft
Flowing hair

We bonded over the river
Fore the river gave off a magic
Serenity

But, as we all know,
Serenity is not forever
And so, when I had turned 13 years of age,
An evil man had arisen

The evil man forced the magic out of the river
He strangled the river
And shaved off her beautiful locks of hair
Leaving nothing left
But a soil grave

I love to live
Long to live
But there's always something
Something that takes that away

Whether it be
My body
My family
My friends
Strangers

They always know how to pull the trigger
And send me crumbling
Crumbling to the floor
Like a broken marionette

Maybe that's who I truly am
A marionette
Something for people to control
Manipulate

They pull my strings
They pull them hard
And it seems
Like I always end up broken

God
It's been so long
Since I've heard you
Seen you

And here we are
Standing awkwardly
Like strangers

If anyone saw us
They would have never guessed
That we used to be together
That we used to be the closest

But thanks to anxiety
And overwhelming fear
We went our seperate ways
Leaving our love to decay

And now
Standing here
With you
I realized I made a mistake

I shouldn't have left
I shouldn't have pushed you away
We could've had everything
But I ruined that

I hate this feeling
I know so much about you
But at this moment
I have no idea who you are

Talk to me
Please, I beg of you
It's all I want
Please, ease my anxiety

Ease my anxiety
Ease the cruel monster
The monster that started this
This entire thing

My love
You deserve the world
But sadly
I cannot give you that

But
I can give you
A meaningful note
A beautiful dove
And an elegant rose

My love
I have little to no money
So please bear with me
And accept my gift

I know you can find other men
Other men with money
Wealth
But men with compassion are hard to find these days

I may not have money
I may not be the best man
But I love you for you
And so I present to you this note
This dove
And this rose

A large open field
A field of hope
Of dreams

You were there
Standing beautifully
In the expansion of stems and petals

The flowers danced around your ankles
And you waved
Shyly

My heart stuttered
It leaped
Was this real?

I stepped
Carefully through the colors
And held out a hand

You take it
And together
We walk through the flowers

A soft glow glimmers
Illuminating the room
And I see you
And you see me

Arms outstretched
I reach for you
But you grimace
And back away

I step forward
You step back
And I knew
I had broken you

"I'm sorry"
I murmur
But you shrug
"It's not the first time"

And I understood
I have problems
Pushing people away
Blocking them out

But you
You're the only one I come back to
But I've done it
I broke you

"Let me explain"
I beg
But your head
It shakes

"No"
And with that
You fade
And I wake up