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Ana
I first saw her when I was a young kid
she didn't see me because I hid
She was very pretty
but looked at everyone with pity
she was so small
yet she was so tall
she didn't know me
but she could
and she would

we were now teens
where i could be seen
i wanted help
i hated myself
but she was there
she told me what to wear
she said we were friends
till the end

she saw how i thought i was fat
said she would help me get flat
it will be a big fray
but do as i say

she told me

eat less she said
you wont have dread.
lose more weight
you already ate
your so close
pretty like a rose.

just like a rose in a flash of red
i was dead
i was so light
not daring to take a single bite
i was gone
just before dawn.
the self hate was still there
Ana didn't seem to care.

she stood next to the grave
there the last gift she gave
a wicked smile
and took another name from the file.

this was her plan all along
a long twisted song
it was so wrong
now i'm gone
because of that self made demon spawn.
Ana Anorexia has killed me.
You're not alone...
 May 2015 - Aquamarine
MBishop
ana
 May 2015 - Aquamarine
MBishop
ana
I envy those who can eat without conscience
I long for the infamous day when "things will get better"
I strive for an impossibility that I can feel within my reach
I expend the necessary energy to achieve a negative net
My mind rattles with number and limits
Counting the minutes 'til my next meal
Portion control and restrictions
Fighting the urges of binges
They say I'm just skin and bones
But what I see is all I'll know
Ana
I still find myself wanting you.

Why is it that I feel so good inside when absolutely nothing is inside of me?
Something I found in my old papers from 2011.
 May 2015 - Aquamarine
Love
I guess I won that stupid fight of "I love you more."
 May 2015 - Aquamarine
Madeysin
I want to know you...
"I'm saying you need to find your happiness."
she said..

"You were my ******* happiness"
I replied..

"Were..."*
she said..

"That's because there is NO US and that was my happiness so I guess this is me until I die.."*
I replied..
leave  me  alone
                           don't  go  show  me   you   care
no  i'm  not  hungry
                            i'm  starving
i'm  okay*
                             *no
  i'm  not  i'm  dying  *inside
wanting to end the pain just **** me
Words cant explain how much I want you to come back
I miss you so much
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