I shot myself with broken minds.

I sleep in a room where my cousins saw an elderly lady sitting on the window. Decayed face, messy long hair, creepy posture. A ghost, they said.

I used to be afraid to spend the night in that room alone, for I couldn't imagine how it would be if the creature showed up in front of me. What if it ate me? What if it took me to another world?

But it was years ago. I sleep there now, in a room where my cousins saw a horrible creature that lurked in the dark. The only difference, is that I'm no longer afraid.

The actual monsters are lurking inside my mind.

His Down's Syndrome makes
His age a tough guess, I'll
Say eight to ten.

Wide eyes on machines,
Ice cream dripping on the
Pavement outside the

Construction site.
I wanna work like this when
I grow up, he says in

Young enthusiasm to a mother
Whose eyes well up with
Gratitude when I approach

And kneel down in front of
Him. So you want a job,
Buddy? I ask him with a

Wink. He suddenly remembers
His ice cream and bites into
It shyly. Nods, glancing at the

Tools in my belt, the scratches
On my arms, the brick wall
I've been attacking with a

Wacker jackhammer. Nods
Again. Well, I'll see you in a
Few years, I say with another

Wink, this time to his mother,
Who'd look her young age if
Her eyes weren't as tired,

But you can start with this
And get some practice. I hand
Him my Stanley Fat Max

Hammer. His ice cream
Hits the ground as he
Recieves it with both hands,

Looking to his mother for
Confirmation that it's ok.
Oh, it is. She mouths a

Thank you SO much...
They walk away, his chatter
High pitched and fading

Around the corner. And I
Head over to the foreman to
Report that I lost my hammer.

Don't ever employ me.
I can work a good game, but
I'm too soft around little heroes.

Yesterday, I could see clearly.
Thinking & actions flowed freely on their own accord.
[ Where is my mind? ]
Yesterday, "things" mattered.
I had goals.
Or so I thought?
I didn't worry about the way I stood, or whether I have a "dorky" look. Because today I saw you.
I was struck with awe by the mere presence of you.
If my limbs hadn't of frozen, then maybe I would have spoken to you. As the days roll by this fog grows thicker, you've become a form of block in my mind. [ Just think something rational! I swear I've forgotten how!]
It's a beautiful dream I've planned out for you & me.
But I know I'll be, forever alone