Some Autumn evening..
I grabbed a cigarette.
Lit it without thinking.
A few years after..
Another Autumn day..
I met you.
I love you daily.
Without thinking
Because who knows?
One day, you may replace...
My pack of Marlboro Menthols.

A shriek,
A muffled scream,
A thump
Wicked dreams.
A touch.
Sparks fly
Never a good thing.
Whispers vibrating around
Do you hear that crazy sound?
Fire breaks
As night falls
Crimson running
The way your tears spilled onto your cheeks
Right before your heart
stopped.
I breathe deeply
Sigh softly
I cry the way you used to
But it's not enough.
It gleams under the moonlight,
your shadow stalks me
as i whimper
I stop
I ponder
What can I do?
To stop you...
or maybe,
its just to late.
but ill try either way.
To save myself
And get you some help
Help...
a foreign term to me.
when i need it most-gone
when i need it least-there
When I try hard enough
I'm fine
all i need
*is me.

I wake up constantly everyday
With the same thoughts in my head
They make me weak
They tear me to shreds
You ripped my soul out
And I guess it's something
I knew I should always be afraid of
I let down my guard for you
Just so you could play me
For some fool
But I'm not a fool you see
I'm wiser than you'll ever be
I still love you
And that's truly what's killing me

The first time I said I love you was on January 30th of 2015
It was just a short two months
I wished it would've been longer

I remember the first night
You held me
I remember the way you brought me to your room
Grabbed my hand
Grinned

I read the poems I gave you aloud
The first time you kissed me it felt like fireworks
You told me you loved me

Valentines day
The greatest valentines day I've ever had
I read your card so many times it made me cry
I remember feeling so bad because my sister wouldn't give you a ride
But you reassured me it'd be alright
And at that time I kissed you harder than any other time before

The day we broke up
although it happened quite a few times
was one I'd never forget
I cried so hard

I think about you now
Everyday
I think about the way fireworks exploded when you kissed me
I think about the vanilla scent I used to love so much

I still ******* miss you, and I'm trying to move on but you won't let me

She was the new girl
The shy girl
The one I hadn't quite met yet

She was the soft girl
The quiet soft spoken girl
She is the girl I have fallen for

She is the beautiful girl
The Christian girl
She is the girl I want to be with

She is the hurt girl
Heart ripped out by a past love girl
I can and will love her with all I have

It's funny how people keep talking about love

but when anger comes
love fades away

©IGMS

I want you
To undress
Your heart,
And show me
How much
It hurts,
So that
I can show you
How I intend
To make it stop.