I didn’t see it ever stopping
I wanted to be free
When will nothing hurt anymore?
I grew tired of guessing and failing
This is why I did it
I was tired and burnt out
Even my gut reminded me with a stabbing pain,
Reminded me of everything I would never and could never be
So with this note
I set myself free.

Don’t try to follow,
You’ll learn to live without me.

P.S. Your love was always enough. I had always spiraled so quickly, it was just too hard to catch myself this time.

there are two types of sadness

there’s the kind of sadness
we ignore and
try to get rid of it
by finding new things to do
or we find someone to talk to
by blatantly avoiding any type of conversation
about feeling sad
about having any feelings at all
and then there’s that kind of sadness
that takes over
and it consumes any activity we do
we know it’s there
and there’s no possible way to avoid it
so we feed it exactly what it wants
it craves the sad music
it craves the isolation
it craves the anxiousness
and the sadness comes storming in
it has no manners
here we are calling sadness, an “it”
when all it is
is a feeling
that most people
call home

in 5 years
i could’ve grown
a forest
if i planted
a tree
every time you lied
to me,

but i never
knew you were
lying
until it was
too late
to even
tend soil.