"She uses an insane amount of emojis."
"Whether this is to reflect her vibrant happiness or her joy to see me, I don't know."

"Cakes, flowers, stars, fireworks."
"You name it, she would use it."

"But at times I wonder: is she masking her emotions with the squabbles of pictures she sends my way?"

"Because once I see strawberries and cake as a response to my, "hi" I can't see if she is upset or angry."

"I just smile and begin to laugh into my phone, I could be laughing when she is on the other side crying."


"Who?"

"Rose."

I fear judgement of man more than God at times.
Most times.
It's in the smallest things.
Take emoji's for example.

There have been several times, I have held back from putting them in my writing.
Because it may not be authentic or aesthetic.

Y'all don't know me; I don't need to impress you!

At times I might use emojis, other times I won't.

It's fine, it's fine, it's all fine.

I have gone back to being way too conscious of what I post in this community.

Once again, I am scared that people will judge me for what I write.

You don't even know me.
You haven't even seen me.

Who here knows that I thought I was born in the wrong year for half of my life?

Who here knows that I was obsessed with male approval for more than half of my life.

Ain't nobody.

So I am going to post genuine poetry, not just well defined haikus or refined stanzas.

Just proper content mate.

Content that's unique to me.
You will partake in my uniqueness when you read these poems.

I look forward to it 🫡

My words may not be beautiful.
My words may not be sweet.

At times I cry because the words I write and type are not the same words I speak in reality.

When anger, guilt or sadness comes over me, I do not want to be well- spoken.

I want to be well heard without having to repeat myself.

Character development.
Let's call it development.

Deep breaths

*

It is all character development.