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  Dec 2014 A Sickening Love
WickedHope
She wore a smile everyday,
Laughed and shrugged her cares away.
She wasn't scared, not afraid.
That was why he was so worried.
She talked of knives and scars unseen,
He thought it was just a joke, a tease.
She casually mentioned their hate of her,
This he thought ridiculous, absurd.
She never slept at all during night.
And he worried, but pretended it was nothing.
Until he saw her hip, her scars,
Heard the things they've done.
But she was still unafraid,
So still he pretended it all was nothing.
Then one day he woke up,
And she was finally sleeping.
About real people.
A Sickening Love Dec 2014
As heat transfers
You're body to body
And skin to skin
Cold hard hearts
Another night
Another girl
The way you live.
U n a t t a c h e d
The love without love
You find unfulfilling fulfillment.
A Sickening Love Dec 2014
The thoughts in my head
The feelings in my heart
You don't have to leave
Yet I'm watching you go
Every minute of everyday
I see you slipping further away
  Nov 2014 A Sickening Love
WickedHope
I was the mistake
       The twisted pervert
       The freak freak freak
       The try too hard to fit in
       The anorexic miserable *****
       The depressed neglected waste of time
I am the nothing
       The girl who keeps getting scar after scar
       The girl who begs to be hurt so she'll feel
       The girl who can't find comfort in her own blood anymore
       The body limp waiting for someone to find me
I can't breathe anymore.
A Sickening Love Nov 2014
Tik tok...
Tik tok...
Always checking the clock.

Waiting...
Waiting...
Too much anticipating.

As I sit,
Looking for distractions.
My mind blinded.
Unable to remain unfocused,
On the pure,
Horrifying,
Anticipation.
A Sickening Love Nov 2014
Sorry I'm such a burden.
But my depression can show up so sudden.
It comes an goes,
Sometimes when I fake that smile to the world,
I can fake out myself.
I think I'm happy sometimes.
But I never am.
  Nov 2014 A Sickening Love
WickedHope
Tell me again how I'm fat
Tell me again how I'm a *****
Tell me again how I'm an idiot
Tell me again how I'm scarred and marked
Tell me again how I'm useless

                                         I'm fast approaching 90 pounds
                                         I'm one mistake from a ******
                                         I'm in NHS and my GPA is high
                                         I'm a warrior wounded
                                         I'm a support-group leader


Tell me again,
     because I already tell myself.
I'm so used to hearing lies,
      I'll believe them anyway.
I hate people.
I hate me.
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