I sit in the rows at church and hear stories of the Man that fixes the broken.

I hear of all He's done.
l hear of all He will do and all He can do.

I think of all I've done.
I think of all I will do and what I can do.

I think of what you did to me.
I think of what you will do again and what you can do to someone else.

I feel the layers of my skin peeling apart as I find the center of everything.
I find the reason why I'm like this.

I see the parts of you that I've kept away in my chest.

I sit in the rows at church and hear the word "forgiveness."
I hear the words "no one can know" over and over again in the back of my head.

The Man who heals the broken says to forgive.
If apart of you lives inside of me, do I forgive myself too?

Some days, it hits me harder than others. I can wake up in the morning and build myself up to a mountain's peak. I can feed myself love and forgiveness, and swear to the sky that I am complete. I can speak to the lives around me of the love that I found in my own darkness.

But my words aren't big enough to hide the cracks that form in my underlying foundation. Other days, everything is still. I'm bottled up with words that I can't bring myself to speak. I lay as time passes endlessly by. I hide myself in the depths of solitude, knowing well enough that no one would make the voyage to save me. So, I just stop. I stop hoping, and expecting and feeling. Time passes, but I don't move along with it.

when you said you loved me
    as a friend.

It was like a marriage, really.
Lennon and McCartney.
Holmes and Watson.
I can't explain it any better than that.
All of our free time was spent with each other.
We shared so much -- fears, hopes, dreams, desires.
We were a unit and together, we moved.
A single beating heart.
But like all good things, it had to end.
The light of love was gone.
I didn't trust her.
I was no longer in love.
I was lonely in a relationship made of two.
Though not entirely my fault, I take the blame.
To save her any potential guilt, I will continue taking the blame.

inside
there is a deep sadness.
you let it in when you ripped
my heart open.
it swarmed to the
open wound.
don't worry,
my heart is fixed now.
she glued it back together
with her love.
do you realise that she spends
her whole life
tidying up after you?
the thing is:
when she closed my heart
she forgot to remove
the sadness from inside.
so now it's trapped.
and it's trying to escape.
my heart is bursting at the seems
as it fights against the muscular walls.
it's going to break free
any moment now.
and the tears will pour.
make sure you don't have a broken heart
or it will come to you next.