It hurts to love you
because every breath I take
marks a moment you
are closer to your last one
and my lungs can't take
that truth. It hurts to love you
because my arms lie
aching at my sides every
moment they could be
holding you, and the weight of
that is somehow more
than I can take. It hurts to
love you because my
brain is leaning so fully
on something that is
not even mine that I both
long for and hate who
I might have been (Who was I?)
before.

Depersonalization
Derealization
Dissociation
Delusional
Hallucina­tions
Confabulation
Perseveration
persevered.

Clanging
Rhyming
E­cholalia
echolalia.

Paranoia
Ideas of reference
Thought blocking
Internal stimuli
Thought broadcasting
heard
every way
every day.

Mental disorders
or
poets extraordinary

The Paiute anthropologist
locked up on the
inpatient unit
with visions of the ancestors
dancing in his eyes
said
"See these folks
you have locked up,
In ancient days
from the desert hills
they came our way
delivered truths
in their special way.

"Once they had their say
On desert winds
they blew back
up to their hills
away
straight away. "
"Can you please
give me the keys.
I've said what
I had to say. "

Give me something.

Give me a laugh.
Give me a cry.
Give me a sweet sigh.

Give me anger.
Give me love.
Give me that slight little shove.

Give me emotion.
Give me fun.
Give me something that makes me hum.

Give me life.
Give me inspiration.
Give me a hopeful temptation.

Give me a choice.
Give me a fight.
Give me something on this cold windy night.

*Anything would be better than this emotionless fog you always leave me with.