We always tried to fall
Together
But when we broke
We shattered like glass.
Apart,
Lost,
And damaged.
But mostly,
Alone.
Because we fell together,
We crashed apart.

You know just what to say
To ruin my whole ******* day
No chance you'd try to make me feel better

You really dont care

You wont even dare
To let your mind wander
In my direction
You'd rather drown yourself
In poison

naturally,
after we leave,
everything seems to get better.
not that we took it for granted
no, really, we didn't.
we were:
            test subjects
                     guinea pigs
                            a band of misfits searching for the positive
yet somehow remaining apathetic.

I somehow expected you to be like us
a little less caring
a little less bothered
that's what I expected, not this..
subdued insecurity manifested in your eyes
they keep darting around
looking for answers in a scallop
or in the bottom of a coffee cup
silence where you should be laughing sits
hanging heavily on your shoulders,
making your natural slouch even worse
        ...I wonder if you noticed that your eyes are getting bluer

we learned once in english class that films use blue to represent anxiety
that the churning sea is symbolic of a churning mind
we never learned that you can spot that in a man
so lost in his worry that he can't see
        ...his eyes are getting bluer.

the blinds can't quite block out people like you'd hoped they would
the moon still shines when you close your eyes
the mercury still seeps in between closed eyelids
reduced to veins that run hollow
you know they were once filled with electricity
but you can't remember the sting
wristwatches slowing time as they go to sleep
drowsy hands still can't cover the bruise
pupils dilate to conform to the darkness
but you can still see them
throat contracts and it's just not right
to assume it's because of the lack of oxygen
you're choking on your own breath
and your thoughts still roam to them
don't worry
even if your reasons are selfish, how can they not be?
you're a lover after all

Trapped in the anxiety
created by society.
It forged a mist and it won't let us go.

Feel the churning hollow pain
at the centre of your brain.
There's nothing really there,
and if there is, why care?

They'll ask you what the point is,
a question that still taunts us,
but the question makes no difference,
and the judgment has no existence.

Should we, or could we flee?
Will we ever be free?
We run, but it's always near.

The unshifting terror, strapping you down.

I think you should know that when I say something stupid I do it because it makes you laugh
Sometimes I think that maybe, if not during, but maybe in between those moments where your chest shakes at my clumsiness, you'll think I'm cute again.

The first time you broke my heart I tried to ignore it, like maybe if you never happened, if  I never even stopped to think about it, I wouldn't ever feel empty.
So picked up speed barely stopping to breathe
  I didn't want to feel what it was to be broken
And I felt myself too young to make an mantra of you just yet
It was nine days before freshman year and I couldn't afford to look weak, but the wind beneath my wings teased the open wounds with a bad taste and you told me you missed me before I fell out of the sky.

      Sometimes I wonder if we would have started differently would you still be by my side

The second time you broke my heart, I knew it was coming from the way it sat on my chest
And I tried to love myself back together but ****** kid, its like you knew exactly how to undo me
And I wanted to burn every song that made me think of you but they kept on playing new ones the radio until every love song made me want to cry. And I thought the wind would come for me again.

The second time you broke my heart, I wasn't nearly naive enough to try to pretend it wasn't happening. I let myself feel every vibration from each word that said I never made you happy
And I didn't understand how you got to be such a good liar.
I still turn off the radio when love songs come on sometimes but I've stopped waking up empty from thinking of you
                                                             ­                so I think thats fair


When you kissed me, I almost couldn't help but kiss you back, but I couldn't sell my soul to cheap teenage instinct like that. So if being friends with you means you calling me stunning, Ill take it but I don't trust it.

Yesterday you said I made you happy, and I still have hard time trying not to believe you

One foot in front of the other
Thats how we live life
The faster we run
The sooner we avoid strife
Because we're angry at the world
And the way things are
Then we're angry at change
And the way things aren't
Rain keeps flooding our minds
Clouding our thoughts
Our faces predict sunshine
While our insides do not
Gray days are nothing
Compared to our dark emotions
Somehow we know how to hurt
Without causing some kind of commotion