I've seen pictures of your old girlfriend
on the laptop you let me borrow, I was
snooping, looking for something to accuse
you of. You told me they had all been deleted
(I hadn't asked) you told me everything
was gone.

I've read messages, happy, hinted, flirtatious
coy poetry played between two parts which
haven't been officially scripted.

"It's weird between us now, isn't it?"
berated friendship, bartered love offered
in the gaps which remain unspoken
yet.

He does not speak of her
anymore. I have not asked.

Was it, unsolicited? Or does she tickle
your decadent fancy; you do the honourable
thing now and flirt with her
behind her fiances back.

Each trial has been blond and I fail
at not hating every single golden glinted thief
who stole something before it was even mine
to take.

You rise and I darken; I smile sticking needles
in your misadvised tongue. Still, these words burn
sweeter than those in my head.

Something whispers about that girl
who just walked past. Inside my crypt
things do not look good for me.

We know the way a mind works
This is the ultimate weapon
We keep piling the hours on
Your head doesn't move

I would that my heart were pure
But my darkness is growing
And hunger must be sated
Anyways, in all the ways

I know that my aims are true
For better
           Or worse

We know the way of the gloom
This is our ultimate weapon
And whatever we feed you eat
Stone, stick and poison in the blood

Bones, rotten by our own attrition

I wish that my heart was pure
But, alas, it is not
So all I can really do
Is work for the betterment of my own lot

Be sure that my aims are true
Selfish desires
                Or worse

Bones rotten by our own attrition

King and kingdom
Fall apart while I still see straight
I know that bones are all the same
Only memory
Never name
Our inaccurate history
Our most hated fate

Becomes mine
Becomes me
Our whole lives spent on becoming
I once was king

I once held
Until my hands grew weak

Source and sorcery
I held noble aim of heart
Uncorrupted
Uncharted
Unknown
I was once king
If only in my mind
If only in my dreams

there is a darkness between us,
my boy,
you are poison in a body

the tragedy of us,
something like
the death of a child

i can't seem to bleed out -
the pain is
a strangling by gentle hands

a suffocation of hope

and we're off to the races, you and i
arm and arm

it's all fixed, and i'm still betting on you

We talked about
The things
I couldn't put you through.
The end of my pain,
Your genesis.
My life unknown
Unused,
Swallowed whole.
Slowly, each day —
Hell upon Hell.
Falling stars
Crashing to ground,
Cataclysm.
Friends. Lovers.
I never meant to waste away.

It’s those desolate interludes,
  that create the new space

For our souls to exhale,
—and our dreams to escape

(Villanova Pennsylvania: November, 2016)

Maybe one day I'll finish all of these half started rhymes
When the day comes where I can lay in tulips all day sipping a bottle of wine
When the earth stops spinning and I'm resting on cloud

...   ...    ...   ...

So here's to another, half finished piece
Maybe it'll find you more solace than it ever did me.