Your truth is to blame for my insecurities. That tugs and traps my heart in a never ending sticking, lashing pain.
  And because of you, I continued to decay inwardly through transparent hurt.   Hurt that gave me the courage to suffer daily despite the effort to conquer the distasteful fear. That built-in machine , that wreckage of my soul.
Dusk til dawn I lay in my cold and wet bed of tears . Giving myself up to the distant voice that fed on my weakness.. Night and day it tormented me, comstantly writing  wistful memo's to  steal my commitments. I was distraught, a wrecking shame to my faith .I was a disappointment to the dignitaries and  a lost cause to my integrities.
I had no hope, being restless and destroyed. I was covered in my own blood. Which bled from my eyes to my toes,that stained and uncleansed my skin . I was in a frenzy for eternity . Pitying myself in confusion. And just when you thought I  was over, at the end of my misery .. I made a decision ... I decided .....no more...