You might as well ask me
Not to take another breath -
To climb to the top of Arthurs seat
And not stand with my arms outstretched –
To stand in the middle of an icy street –
In the depths of midwinter
And not gaze with wonder
At the cloud of unspoken poetry
Pouring from my lips
Utterly failing to warm my hands –
And ask me –
Why do I continue –
Look in awe upon something –
So natural, that gives me
So little pleasure in return
And yet enriches my life -
So indescribably?

LOVE AND LOVERS

by

TOD HOWARD HAWKS


Chapter 6

Bian spoke with her father that evening. Bian thought she had detected a good measure of surprise, if not excitement, in his voice. He would be in Toronto on business in mid-September. He could meet his daughter and Jon at 10 a.m. at the Ritz-Carlton on Monday, the 11th. He said he would leave a note at the front desk telling them which room he was staying in. He told Bian he always used aliases when he traveled, a fact she had not previously known. Understandably, Bian was thrilled.

Bian and Jon had enjoyed immensely the rest of the summer, as only on Cape Cod one can. They flew from Logan Airport to Toronto the morning of Sunday, 10 September. They arrived at the Ritz-Carlton around 9:45 Monday morning.

“I believe you have a note waiting for Bian and Jon,” said Bian.

“Just a minute, please,” said the clerk.

“Here,” said the clerk and handed it to Bian.

“Thank you,” said Bian. “Father’s in room #715.”

The two took the elevator to the 7th floor, found the room, and knocked on the door. In a moment or two, Minh Ly opened it.

“My dear daughter, Bian! How are you?” said Mr. Ly as he gave his daughter a big hug. “And you, Jon, how are you?”

Jon shook Mr. Ly’s hand as he entered the room.

“So good to see you, sir,” said Jon.

“Come in. Make yourselves comfortable,” said Mr. Ly.

“Mr. Ly, the first thing I would like to share with you is my commentary. It is an overview of what I would like to pursue with Bian,” said Jon.

“Let me read it,” said Mr. Ly.

It took a couple of minutes for My Ly to finish reading. He paused for several moments, then exclaimed “Jon, this is extraordinary!”

“Bian inspired me,” said Jon. “You know, Mr. Ly, I’m a poet, not a financier. It would take untold amounts of money and the best technology on Earth--unbelievable amounts of it--to realize this dream.”

“Don’t worry. I have friends,” said Mr. Ly.

"I envision Bian and I traveling around the world visiting the poorest sections of most of the biggest cities on Earth, using a translator when necessary to explain how we collectively can bring lasting peace to Earth. Furthermore, I expect not only the worldwide, but also the local, media to be informed of these gatherings," Jon said.

"You need to know I must always remain anonymous. Bian, you, and I shall need to meet periodically. I and my friends have developed ways always to be in touch, but will never be able to be detected. I wish not to elaborate. Jon, you inspire me the way Bian inspired you,” said Mr. Ly.

I bought a cruiser bike
instead of a mountain bike
I’m a sextagenarian
not a 30-something
so every morning I pedal
to the corner across from the Ritz-Carlton and the Montage
next to the high-rent Pandemonde Café
and count the Ferraris roaring by.

I never had a Ferrari
but I did buy a ’96 Mustang once
and souped it up with a supercharger
which was around the time
my doctor took me off testosterone
because my prostate specific antigen
was way too high

You have an inoperable prostate malignancy, he said
after the biopsy
You can’t take hormone replacement anymore
It will **** you

And as I lean on my bike
depressed about missing the rush
of another boost of synthetic male hormone
I enjoy watching the Europen speedsters streak by
so proud of themselves
in cars that cost more
than my house.

I used to wish I was them
used to feel like them
when I was younger and charging hard
but now I just utter prayers
for each Lamborghini that goes by
and I say
I hope your car is faster than cancer.

People, they just ain't all golden, not at all.
Not even silver, magnesium or copper.
Maybe zinc, because it tastes like ink and it does your body good,
but you never get enough, even though you know you should.
But had I the means, and the ends were understood,
would I be zinc? Would I carry the common good?
Would I feign precious metal? Or am I nothing but wood?
I met today aluminum, he said, "I'm bad luck."
"I know it," I said, "You're out of your element."
"My melting point is 660.2°C!"
I told him my name was Kristian Huselius,
but that turned into a testament.
"You're just lucky you aren't a duck," he said.
"Maybe, but I find I've got too much will."
"You can't spread will on bread, my friend,"
he said, much to my Brazil,
"but lucky for you they make contraceptives in pills."
I didn't want children anyway, but when Boron arrived,
I was feeling less than sublime.
Boron said, "My name rhymes with '*****'!"
"No kidding, Boron," I replied.
"I can come in both the dark crystal and brown powder variety!"
"That may or may not be true," said Aluminum,
"but at least I benefit society."
Oh, yeah, he said it, he went there.
"I value correctness and propriety!" Boron shrieked.
"And you can be flimsy, squishy, and weak!"
I wanted no part in this, so I meandered.
Not too long after, I met Helium.
I told him my name was Carlton Deandre.
"I don't believe you, mealworm," he bombasted.
"You're gaseous," I said, "I wouldn't put it past ya."

hi dudes

i am in a good mood, i am doing the bbq tomorrow

and i tipped

kangaroos over essendon kangaroos won

adelaide over st kilda adelaide won

hawthorn over melbourne hawthorn won

GWS over carlton, GWS won

sydney over geelong, sydney won

west coast over gold coast, west coast won

and if fremantle beat western bulldogs

and collingwood beat richmond

and port adelaide beat brisbane

i have tipped all the winners of this round

i am doing the bbq tomorrow in kippax

hoping i grab the second full winner

Here are the names of my lovers,
The women I sleep with, whom
I use, like they use me.
Spent, they discard me, for when their pleasure needs
Satiated, they climb aboard another man.

What they do not know,
Is that in my mind, in my ears,
everywhere,
I did not let them, or you go,
We are still romping,
For I
Take them as needed.

I need them all,
For my pleasure needs, like my unshaped heart,
Addictive, endless.

If your is name is here, I do not
Apologize.

Pink
Adele
Lilly Allen
Anna Nalick
Bess Rogers
Beyonce
Brandi Carlisle
Cat Power
Colbie Callait
Duffy
Eva Cassidy
Evanescence
Alison Sudol
Fiona Apple
Florence Welch
Grace Potter
Ingrid Michaelson
You
Joni Mitchell
K.D. Lang
Kate Nash
Kate Voegele
Leona Lewis
Lizz Wright
Madeline Peyroux
Marie Digby
Mary Wells
Norah Jones
Regina Spektor
Sara Bareilles
You
Sara Haze
Taylor Swift and Tracy Chapman
Tristan Prettyman
Vanessa Carlton

So many others, used so long ago, I can't remember the faces,
Which can't be googled.

Use them hard, use them often, more than daily.
Bluntly, I tell you
Your name is on my list,
Even if I do not disclose it.

"All I Want" (A Day To Remember)
is for "You And I" (Anarbor)
to "Shine On" (Jet)
but it's not "All About Us" (He Is We, ft. Owl City)
and "If I Leave" (A Day To Remember)
will you come "And Run" (He Is We)
"A Thousand Miles" (Vanessa Carlton)
with me "When The Darkness Comes" (Colbie Caillat)
but let's not "Blame It On The Rain" (He Is We)
and don't think that my "Darkside" (Kelly Clarkson)
exists just to "Prove You Wrong" (He Is We)
I know "It's Complicated" (A Day To Remember)
but "Since U Been Gone" (A Day To Remember cover)
I've been feeling like your "Number One Enemy" (Daisy Dares You, ft Chipmunk)
and all I want to do is write you a "Love Song" (Sara Bareilles)
to show you that I'm "Still Into You" (Paramore)
So don't think that "Big Yellow Taxi" (Counting Crows)
is going to be your "Savior" (Rise Against)
but "Here It Goes Again" (Ok Go)
so don't think about "Everything I'm Not" (The Veronicas)
while I just sit here with "My Shiny Teeth And Me" (Chip Skylark)
trying to catch "Fireflies" (Owl City)
in a jar shaped like a "Skyscraper" (Demi Lovato)
so don't act like "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" (REM)
because in "One Week" (The Barenaked Ladies)
we'll all just be "Heroes And Thieves" (Vanessa Carlton)

"So. Why a robin?"
I picture us fighting, my neck hits the back of the leather arm chair. It hurts and you apologise. You are still pretending to get mad whenever I say I love you like you are not willing to hear it. You know I am going far away and whether its university or life we can't work without one of us making the other miserable. And I am still folding our hands to origami swans at 3am wishing for a second more with you. It goes futher than taking the scenic route home, dragging my feet and prolonging the front door, pretending we don't know how this ends.  We have the same conversations over and over, you apologising and joking as you think about what you'll turn into//me wondering if I'll even bother to make it that far. One day you might not remember my name, think my face isn't mine because didn't I used to blonde? We are not even perfect on paper. The government wouldn't grant us our bursary because they knew we are too self destructive. My poems for you were pretty when flipped to the ceiling but we think too much, wound ourselves up, and the folds in the pages won't come loose anymore. The words don't sit right. Somewhere on a fence in Carlton sits two robins. And life gets so hard when you realise you can't actually help another adult with their problems, you can only make them a cup of tea. Not coffee. Their brain spins in it's swivel office chair, controls broken. A dictatorship sinking fast. Their heart races - the more coffee you drink the more likely you are to experience anxiety//undiagnosed depression is hard to get rid of, it knows you want to acknowledge it and it waits for you to stumble upon it, it feigns surprises behind a pinewood door, but life doesn't get much better after you notice it. You still want to die and you still think every day about the one in three anorexia sufferers that don't make it. How really you don't know what "making it" is. I found a boy that I imagine smells like fire. He has these crazed pinpoint eyes that are not like yours and I don't know what to think anymore. He is an artistic genius and I want to run from my bad dreams into you and I don't know what to think anymore. I don't think anything is real anymore. I think we hit an iceberg. I think my fingers are caught in the ice, splayed hands grasping still like curved talon ends and I don't think I can get lose but it is cold. Think. Your warm hands on my ribcage holding me on an axis. Pedestal. You told me I don't love you last night and it felt like hot wax cooling in my throat. I can still taste it now. My hands are cold. I'm writing poetry about you again but I don't know if it's for you this time. Yes, there's a difference. I felt something gut wrenching today when I found that the great barrier reef had died. Is dying. It lived for 25 million years and the human race killed it. Like a toxic relationship composed of a bad survival climate and corporate waste, like us killing us. Big red buttons looming closer. I would compare us to the death of the great barrier reef- I don't think we were as beautiful, and we were killed by ourselves not climate change. So I am writing us an obituary before we self implode. I am writing the nights I have not spend crying on the kitchen floor an obituary before they are even over.  I don't think I can breathe underwater and the pressures are getting to your head. The colours are fading and the plants aren't breathing anymore. The backs of my eyelids are freezing over. You are the only one who knows about the two robins on a fence somewhere safe. You are the one I tell my nightmares to, the ones where I wake up and I can't breathe without you. The ones that I don't have anymore because now my fingers are inches away from the end of the rabbit hole. I can feel the breeze at my fingertips. We deserved more than a bunch of flowers cellotaped to a lamppost. More than a game of hangman. More than this is how I say happy anniversary. I wish we hadn't killed the great barrier reef. I wish that there had been better ways to say happy anniversary.

Classic style of Born shoes have been known using leather, instead of synthetic man made materials. As you know, leather is a natural moisture wicking agent and helps keep the foot dryer and cooler. Another special feature of Born shoes is the Dryz sock linings that is available in Born shoes sport style.

Most newer laptops have an S-video output built-in. You have probably guessed already that these www.facebook.com toms shoes outlet video outputs send the video signal to your TV. You guessed right. Hours of paddling can be enjoyed in this remote yet easily accessible location surrounded by Prospertown Wildlife Management Area. Neither gas nor electric motors are permitted, but since the lake is not patrolled regularly, a few tend to slip in now and then. Nevertheless, these waters rarely become crowded, even on the hottest summer weekend.

Evening Weddings ?These may be black tie, formal, or informal. But black-tie dress implies that a man is expected to show up in a tuxedo and women should wear a long or short cocktail dress. If the occasion is listed as ormal or informal? the man can wear a dark suit in navy, black, or charcoal grey ?with a beautiful dress shirt, jeweled silk tie, and a pocket square in a color tone to complement the tie.

Reports regarding child labor surface periodically. Children crawling in mines, faces ashen,  body deformed. The agile fingers of famished infants weaving soccer ***** for their more privileged counterparts in the USA. Incredulously, I recognized from a few angled lines at the end of the drive Charlie's ever-present scrap metal pile. Cedar and deciduous trees in the wooded areas were distinguishable from one another in simple, but deftly penciled strokes and swirls. He'd even captured the farm's power sources - tractors with hay wagons, the farm truck, pea-sized draft horses, and two diminutive figures in the front yard..

It should be mentioned that if you move to their playground, you will find there a real criminal wild level. It is the only level where murders happen because a fight for swag is carried there. You try to nap a piece?of property from the jaws, even if it is your own property, but the things for you may be finished badly.

Face and strap color - Another new trend in watch design is with the dials and straps. Watches, both expensive and cheap, are now being made in bold and exciting colors. Just be careful about buying a colored watch if it is going to be your everyday watch.

Having learned under the tutelage of LOSTerminds Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, it's understandable that the talented (babyandyUSA-March-11) twosome that are Horowitz and Kitsis want to do nothing less than shoot for the stars by crafting and equally compelling world filled with good and evil character, not to mention life and death stakes. Unfortunately, the one thing that really seems to have gotten, well lost this season is the fun. In other words, when you're responsible for writing a show about handsome princes, damsels in distress, witches, fairy-godmothers, etc鈥?it would be nice if an episode could go by that doesn't involve a grisly ****** or loss of limbs..  2013-03-14.

Slashers Defined

In response to my piece, Slashers, it was requested that maybe I could
reveal at least which band or other info these great guitar players performed for to gain their claim to fame. I don't want to spend too much
time on this defintion, but will give what info I think is pertinent. If you do not know some of the names I have presented to you, and you are a blues,
rock, jazz, fusion guitar fan, I suggest you take the time to listen to some of their work. I have included some of my favorite incredible fusion players that do not have a super star following, but are renowned in their group of fans, probably mostly musicians to some degree.
If you are a frustrated guitar player like I am, do not listen to the likes of  Holdsworth, Johnson, Gambale, or Morse unless you love being tortured.
Anyway on with the show.
        
Eric Clapton – Yardbirds, Cream, Blind Faith, Derek and the Dominos.

Jimmy Page – Yardbirds, Led Zeppe, The Honeydrippers, The Firm

Jimi Hendrix – not only what is, but,  what could have been

Alan Holdsworth – Solo jazz fusion player – hot

Steve Howe –  Yes, Asia - Progressive rock, jazz –

Bill Nelson – BeBop Deluxe, Solo

Terry Kath – Chicago (25 or 6 to 4) – another sad early departure

Ted Nugent – Amboy Dukes, **** Yankees – The madman

Jim Krueger – Dave Mason Band – solo progressive rock

Eddy Van Halen – Van Halen

Ritchie Blackmore – Deep Purple, Rainbow

Jerry Doucette – Doucette (Mama let him play)

Eric Johnson – Solo – New Age, jazz

Frank Gambale – Australian- Jazz, fusion, rock

Goerge Benson – Jazz

Larry Carlton – Jazz, new age rock

Marc Farner -  Grand Funk Railroad

Peter Frampton – Humble Pie, solo

Joe Satriani - New age – solo

Johnny A. - jazz, new age – solo

Danny Gatton – jazz, rockabilly – solo

Chet Atkins – jazz, country

John Mayer – Pop, blues – solo

Neal Schon – Journey

Steve Lukather – Toto

Masyoshi Takanaka – New age, jazz – Japanese solo

Lee Ritnour – Jazz, new age – solo

Leslie West -  Mountain, West  Bruce & Laing

Monty Montgomery – jazz, blues (accoustic you have never heard)

Wes Montgomery – jazz 40's – 50's

Phil Keaggy – New age Christian

Robin Trower – Procul Harem

Brian May – Queen

Rick Derringer – Montrose, Edgar Winter Group, Steely Dan

Robin Ford – John Mayall, Chick Corea, solo jazz, fusion, blues

Carlos Santana – Santana

Ronnie Montrose – Montrose

Steve Morse – Dixie Dregs, Kansas, solo jazz, fusion

Trevor Rabin – Yes, solo new age

Gomer LePoet...

I AM TRYING TO FIND HAPPINESS, AS I FELT I HAD TO GET PAST MY MUM AND DAD
FOR FUTURE HAPPINESS, I THINK THAT VISION OF HELL, IS TRUE, CAUSE I AM A BELIEVER IN COSMIC ENERG, AS WELL AS THE BUDDHIST PHILOSOPHY OF
MENDING EVERY BLADE OF GRASS TO BE SOWN, I WANT TO BE A HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY, BUT I HAVE TO SETTLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH, I WANT TO HAVE
MY ART DISPLAYED IN ART GALLERIES, BUT I DO IT ONLINE, EVEN FACEBOOK
I WANT TO LOOK AT MY STORIES, LIKE ME, BRINGING MY IMAGINERY TV STATIONS
INTO THE REAL WORLD, I REMEMBER DAD SAYING, SOMETIMES IN LIFE WE HAVE
TO MAKE SACRIFICES, WELL, I FELT I WAS SACRIFICES OF HIM TREATING ME
LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY TO A TEASE, I TRY AND BE A OPTOMIST, BUT IT ISN'T HARD
TO BE A PESIMIST, BECAUSE, I AM NOT AS FAMOUS, AS I WOULD LIKE TO BE
YA SEE, I FIND THIS GUY PRETTY COOL, YA KNOW, HE ISN'T AFRAID TO EXPRESS
HIS BUDDHIST BELIEFS, BUT I FELT I WAS SUFFERING WHEN I WAS BEING THE
FAMOUS PERSON FROM THE FAMILY, AND I WANT TO BE MY OWN PERSON, I LIKE
THE IDEA, OF BEING FAMOUS, EVEN IF IT WAS FOR JUST 10 YEARS, I FEEL FAMOUS
IN MY MENTAL HEALTH DRAMA GROUP, I WANT TO GET FURTHER WITH THAT ART
THERPAY, AT BELCONNEN MENTAL HEALTH, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT, I WAS
TRYING TO CALL A TRUCE WITH DAD, HE DID DO IT FOR LOVE, BUT I FELT, HE
LIKED MY BROTHER MORE, AND HE DROVE ME CRAZY, NOW, I NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM, HE TRIED TO UNDERSTAND ME, BUT HE COULD'VE TRIED HARDER
CAUSE, I SUFFERED ALL MY LIFE, YOU KNOW, NOBODY WANTED TO STAY
WITH ME AT NIGHTCLUBS, OR GO WITH ME TO NIGHTCLUBS,DESPITE, ME STILL
ENJOYING MYSELF IN NIGHTCLUBS, I REALLY WANTED TO BE W2ITH COOL MATES,
NOT TOTALLY SQUARRE MATES, AND I CAN TELL YOUNG DUDES, I PARTIED IN
NIGHTCLUBS, IN MY DAY, MAN, I TRIED TO UNDERSTAND DAD, WHEN I SAT NEAR HIM
BUT HE WANTED TO TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY TO LIFE, LIKE SOMEONE
WHO IS FINDING IT DIFFICULT, DAD WAS A LITTLE SHY BOY, HE HATED, THINKING
OR DREAMING FOR THE FUTURE, AS OPPOSED, TO LIVING FOR TODAY, I KNOW
I SEEMED TO DWELL IN THE PAST, BUT I NEVER DWELL, I MAKE PEACE WITH THE
PAST, I TOLD DAD THIS BEFORE HE DIED, LIKE HE PREFERS, CONTRACTOR, I PREFER ERIN BOY, JUST BECAUSE I AM IN MY 40S, DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T BE
AN ERIN BOY, INSTEAD OF CONTRACTOR, DAD, WAS A GREAT LOVER OF FLOWERS
AND HE HATED ME EATING GRASS, BUT I HATED HIM TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE
BABY SHY BOY, I SAW LIFE, IN A BETTER AND DIFFERENT WAY TO DAD
I LIKE PARTYING DAD LIKED BEING MATURE
I PLAY CRICKET AND NEW YEARS EVE PARTIES, TO MAKE DAD FEEL LIKE A MAN
SOME OF THE MEN WHO WENT TO CLUBS, WERE NICER TO ME MORE THAN DAD
AND OUR NEIGHBOUR, ALAN WAS OLD, BUT HE LOVED THE SYDNEY SWANS
AND I USED TO TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD THE SYDNEY SWANS ARE, HE TOLD
ME ABOUT HOW HE WENT TO THE PAPER SHOP TO GET TELEGRAMS OF THE
SWANS, YEAH, I USED TO HAVE FUN ARGUMENTS WITH ASHLEY, AUSSIE RULES
V LEAGUE, AND I FOUGHT FOR CARLTON OVER STAN NIEMICS ESSENDON
AND I REMEMBER LESLIE, WAS MUMS FRIEND, BUT HE WAS A GREAT MATE TO ME
I HAD MY SCHOOL MATES TEASING ME IN MY HEAD, HE GAVE ME HIS EAR
THAT LIFE'S DEAD, BUT I SHARED A FEW LAIGHS WITH DAD, BUT HE WELL TRIED
AS HARD AS HE COULD, LIKE GOINGT TO MY FLAT FOR XMAS PARTIES, THE ONLY WAY, BUT I TOLD DAD THINGS ABOUT TV AND SPORT, LIKE DAD TOLD ME WHEN
IT WAS A FIRE BAN OR WHEN IT WAS GOING TO RAIN, I TOLD HIM ABOUT ALF
STEWART ON HOME AND AWAY, AND HOW BAD CARLTON AND THE RAIDERS
WERE PLAYING, I WENT TO WEEKEND JAIL FOR TYING UP A BOY, BUT I LEARNT
MY LESSON STRAIGHT AWAY, DAD  NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS, HE JUST
THOUGHT I WAS DWELLING, I SUFFERED THROUGH THIS, I CAN'T BE LIKE
THE OLD BATTILAX, DAD, I CAN'T BE THE PERSON, DAD WANTED ME TO BE
I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM AND MUMMY, ESPECIALLY NOW, THAT HE IS DEAD
AND WE LAID DADS ASHES, IN COPPINS CROSSING, WITH JUST ME, MY BROTHER
AND MY MOTHER, I BROUGHT BUDDHA WITH ME, AND PUT A BIT OF DAD ON BUDDHA'S LAP, AND DID A LITTLE CEREMONY, AS I WAS TRYING TO BURY
DADS SPIRIT, SO HE CAN SOON GET REINCARNARTED AS ONE OF DAVID AND
LISA CAMPBELL'S TWINS, ROBIN WILLIAMS IS THE OTHER ONE, I DROWNED
BUDDHA, TO FINALLY BURY MY DAD, AND LET THIS FAMOUS BUSHWALKER
OF OLD TO FLOAT ON COPPINS CROSSING, I BELIEVE IN GOING TO ATHENA
UP IN THE SKY, FOR COSMIC DENTAL WORK, RATHER THAN DADS REALISTIC WAY
DENTISTS ARE QUACKS, WHO ARE AFTER YOUR CASH, PARACETAMOL AND
TOOTHPASTE AND COKE, HELPS YOUR TEETH BETTER, AND NOW DAD AS
HE FLOATS AROUND IN COPPINS CROSSING, THINKING, I MUST, HELP THE WORLD
UNDERSTAND, BRIAN, AND I HATED DAD TREATING ME LIKE THIS LITTLE SHY BOY, OR HE WANTED, IS TO SAY THE LAST FUCKEN WORD
THIS BUDDHIST ISN'T AFRAID OF GOING TO JAIL, I HATE GOING TO JAIL, I PREFER
THE PSYCH WARD, CAUSE IT'S SAFER, BUT I PREFER TO BE WELL, SO I DON'T
GO TO EITHER, I AM NO PHEADPHILR OR KIDNAPPER
\
I AM A BUDDHIST ARTIST AND WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER
WHO LOVES TO PARTY DOWN, OUT OF SQUARE TOWN, I AIN'T SQUARE
I AM RADICALLY AWESOME DUDE

THE LIFE OF THE ALLAN’S IN WOODBERRY




YA SEE I WENT TO CHURCH, AND MY MUM USED TO BOUNCE ME AROUND

TO SAY, WE BOUNCED YOU ON OUR BACKS BACK THEN

MY BROTHER WAS A BOY, WHO WAS OUT TA HAVE FUN

YEAH I WASN’T ISOLATED, NO, I WASN’T OH NO, I USED TO CRACK JOKES

CAUSE WE ARE A TELEVISION LOVING FAMILY

YA SEE ME AND MY BROTHER BOTH HAD FONZIE JACKETS

AND I HAD AN IMAGINATION TO SAY FONZIE GOES INTO DISGUISE

MY BROTHER SAID FONZIE DOESN’T HAVE A DISGUISE

AND DAD SAID, THIS FONZIE DOES, BACK THEN

I WASN’T A FRIENDS BOY AS SUCH, BUT I ENJOYED LIFE THOUGH

I ALSO TOLD MY FAMILY THAT WITH MY RADIO, I WAS TALKING TO DALE BUGGINS

THE MOTORCYCLE STUNT MAN, AND MY BROTHER SAID, NO YOUR NOT


I SAID, I AM KENNY EVERETT, BUT MY BROTHER WANTED TO BE A MANS KID

BUT I HAD DREAMS TO BE FAMOUS, I THOUGHT I WAS PLAYING MUSIC IN MY DREAMS,

I WAS THE ROCKER JIMMY BARNES, AND THE JIMMY BARNES YOU SEE

IS THE FAMILY LOVING JIMMY BARNES, AND I DRANK A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH ON STAGE

I REMEMBER ALL THE TEASING THAT ME AND MY BROTHER DID TOGETHER

IN HINDSIGHT, JUST FUN TEASING, LIKE NORMAL KIDS DO

MY BROTHER WATCHED COWBOYS AND INDIANS

AND I WENT TO CHURCH WITH MY MUMMY, CAUSE I LIKED THE THEORY BEHIND RELIGION

BY KEEPING PEOPLE WITH THE HEAR AND NOW

BUT I GREW TO HATE RELIGION WITH PHEADPHILE PRIESTS,

AND IF I KNEW MORE ABOUT THAT, DUDES, I WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MY CRIME

YA KNOW I HATE TERRORIST ATTACKS AND STUPID CULTS SAYING GOD SAID THIS

AND MOHAMMAD SAID THAT, I WISH THE WORLD WOULD END RELIGION

BUDDHISM IS A RESPECTFUL RELIGION, I AM LEARNING, HOW TO RESPECT WITH VOICES OF DESTRUCTION

I WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD

AND EVERY TIME I WATCH YOUNG GUYS ON AUSTRALIA’S GOT TALENT

I SEE MY BROTHER IN THEM, MY BROTHERS TALENT, INSPIRED ME

TO BRING MY IMAGINATION OUT THERE, I AM NO WOOSEY

I KNOW HOW TO USE A COMPUTER

I KNOW HOW TO WRITE A STORY

I REMEMBER MY BROTHER JOKING, SAYING MY BRAIN BEING CHOPPED OFF

WE WENT TO THE SHOW AND BOUGHT SHOW BAGS

WE WENT ON A LOT OF RIDES

AND WE ATE FAIRY FLOSS, OH YEAH

AND EATING DAGWOOD DOGS

OUR FAMILY WERE A HAPPY FAMILY GOING TO THE BEACH

WE HAD EARLY MORNING SWIMS

DAD AND BOUNCED ME AROUND ON THEIR BACKS

ME AND MY BROTHER TEASED ONE ANOTHER, IT WAS COOL

I WANTED TO WATCH MUSIC SHOWS ON TELEVISION

MY BROTHER WANTED TO WATCH BANABA SPLITS

SO MUM AND DAD BOTH PUT A TV IN OUR ROOMS

MY BROTHER WAS GIVEN A COOL KID CREDIT FROM THE COSMOS

TO PICK UP WAGGA TV, AND I DIDN’T, SO I WATCHED IT WITH MY BROTHER

MAYBE MY BROTHER DID EXACTLY WHAT THE COSMOS WANTED, AND I DIDN’T

I HASSLED MY DAD, AND MADE THE COSMOS VERY ANGRY WITH ME

WE WALKED AROUND PRINCES PARK IN CARLTON AND THE MCG

THE PEOPLE WERE NICER IN CARLTON RATHER THAN THE SNOBS AT THE MCG

AND WE WENT TO KIAMA, AND HAD A WOW OF A TIME THERE

AND WENT TO VISIT NANNY AND GRANNY IN NEWCASTLE AND MAITLAND

AND I SANG SONGS WITH MY COUSINS, REBECCA DAVID AND MICHEAL

WHICH TURNED THE ADULTS HEADS, IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

DAD AND SUE WERE TWO SCHOOL TEACHERS TALKING ABOUT HOW TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN TOGETHER

I WAS COOL, BUT I WANTED TO SIT UP AND WATCH TV

WITH THAT VOICE, GO TO BED BRIAN, EVEN ADULTS OR YOUNG DUDES GO TO BED

BUT I AM A PARTY DUDE WHO LOVES WATCHING TV, AND NOW YOUTUBE

partying is better than sitting at home like a parents boy





i like parries in every single way

i like kids who party despite what their parents say

you see they drink alcohol and get drunk and they are having fun

their parents are talking if they are the only ones to be young and dumb

why can’t we party, it’s fun and cool, why not

i want my own stories to tell my grandchildren rather than just telling your stories

i know you had fun, so why can’t i, i deserve the right party mood

cause all young dudes wanna party

i like partying watching the footy yeah

c’mon dudes pour some ***** on me i am cool

get into some trouble with me, but not bad trouble

make sure nobody spikes your drink, ready to party right

i like partying in every single way

with victoria bitter and carlton draught and a jim beam, how cool

so c’mon dudes pour some bourbon on me and let’s party on

i think parents are the biggest hypocrites on earth

they party really bad but they hate us doing it

i like to party, i like i like to party every single day

with a west coast cooler and a bottle of scotch with coke, how cool

i know we feel like vomiting and we sometimes feel sick

but we need to understand what goes on in the club

yeah, the good times, and there are plenty of them

who cares how bad your hangover is, think of the good times

i like partying because for a young dude it is pretty fun

there will be people who yell at you, but you should think of the people who don’t

i will take a sip out of a jug of beer and someone yells at me

but i don’t complain because i like to PARTY real hard

i remember my friend at school used fosters as his first beer

my first beer was export light, in the kiddie section of the supermarket

XXXX was my first beer i got ****** on and i enjoyed that a lot

and if your hypocritical parents force you to stop partying

say to them, get a life, we are the future of this world

i like partying every single day

i used to buy beer out of every ounce of my pay

bills were being paid, but i was to young and cool to care

but you change but there is one thing for sure

i will never stop being a party dude

i am not a hypocrit, never a hypocrite, but i am not a parent either

and i party while i say, PARTY ON DUDES, and never give in to what conservative parents think

PARTY ON, and say ROCK AND ROLL PARTIES TO THE RESCUE, dudes

Last someday I told him you know soldier you gotta stop saying please. You gotta pull the punches like get off your knees and onto your head and roll away laughing in cartwheels. Get your shoes shined your collar pressed your dogs walked, your **** ****** by women who will tell you they think you’re a riot sort of. Gotta stop counting the ghosts in the hall and the pills every week and the calories burned and the blessings. Eventually you will learn to tie your own **** tie but you’re proud of rolling your own cigars, you’re proud of remembering to water the calla lily on the windowsill. You’ve forgotten most of what you’ve read. You can’t remember the news from yesterday or was it the day before did one of the neighborhood kids get shot or did we go to war again, maybe it doesn’t really matter. Haven’t had a fruit juicy enough in six years and you gotta find a tropical country where the papayas and the sunshine make you melt into puddles and you are the rainy season, you roll ominously overhead. You think you’ll stop staying at the Ritz-Carlton on business trips, you think you’ll check into the Super 8 at three forty-two a.m. and when you open the door the ashtray’s full and there’s *** caked on the wall. When you go to the bar you keep forgetting you want a shot of bourbon or maybe a double of Scotch and you order a g&t; instead. The clouds stay grey and the sky stays tearstained. You remember playing tennis and skinning your knee when you were seven, you remember grinning the widest when you had lost your front teeth. You don’t own a single photo album. In spring when the flowers start to bloom you think you ought to have a daughter so you can read her Maurice Sendak. You’ll get shampoo in her eyes and she’ll be cross, and she’ll only forgive you when you tell her that story your college friends are all tired of by now. You have those thoughts and then you remember to wash your hands. But I said yes gotta stop being a yes-man because that turns into I do and then where are you, on the altar with the sacrificial lamb and a woman and when you slip the ring onto her finger and say this isn’t funny she says you’re a riot sort of. You wanna make it here, then you better learn to eat the locusts and ride a camel and not get angry with the scorpion in your underpants. You don’t get angry, you gotta squish his head between thumb and forefinger before he manages to jab your pecker. You are fifty-two. You don’t feel fifty-two. You don’t feel anything other than maybe an intense dislike for carob bean. You were told to be on the lookout so I said to him I said.

I reckon I am kinda cute
I love to watch the AFL
And support teams that
Don’t often win that game
I like to watch Sydney v Carlton
And I say Sydney Sydney Sydney
Or Carlton Carlton Carlton
And when Adam Goodes scores a goal
I used to say onya goodsey
Now if Eddie betts scores a goal
I say onya bettsy
I used to sit there with teddy bears
As a collection item
I liked drinking lots and lots Coca Cola
And I used to say free instead of three
Saying I was cute
I liked tony lockett when he played for the swans I said well done plugger
And Barry hall took Lockett’s place
I said good onya bazza
Punch that other player
Mind you I don’t like bazza punching
I think he had alien hand syndrome
I wanted to help the homeless
Get a home cooked meal
Or have a home in a hotel
With round the clock dental and medical work
I like young kids who love to perform music going to meet and greets with their fans
I like making sure my washing is up to date
And my washing is done
I love to wear a Canberra Raiders top
And if they make the grand final
I used to go to their club to watch the game and cheer on the team with their fans
I have two adorable Neices Caitlin and Susan
Who love what they can out of life
I like bindi Irwin and her brother Robert
How they love animals saying they are just like humans
I cheer on the brumbies
To win the super 15
And even if the wallabies have no chance on winning I still like it if they fluke one
But I don’t like cheating
Cheaters never prosper
I love my life too much to **** myself
But I find it hard with people who talk about killing them selves
I think medication can soothe you
And help you get better
I love to be loud because that prevents yot
From being taken by people
I have false teeth because I acted like a kid
I think overall I am cute
Yes Brian Allan is cute
Able to get a women in minutes
A

The elevator opened on the 46th floor, to a small foyer and one plain, grey door

The door opened and a young girl, 10ish, in a blue, polo, tennis dress, said, “Hi! I’m Karen, you must be Anais. Will is around here somewhere. Aren’t you pretty, though? You go to school with Lisa? No wonder Will likes you.”

She skippingly ushered me from a bright, windowed, off-white, staircase entryway, into a deep-red, mahogany paneled library. A persian cat was soon underfoot, purring and winding around my legs.”That’s Misha,” Karen said, “just shoo her away if you don’t like cats.”

I stooped down to pet Misha who eagerly offered herself to be petted and admired. As I stroked her charcoal fur, Karen said, “Let me get Will,” as she scampered off.

A gold framed, impressionistic painting, pin-lit in bright crystalline light, hung over a fireplace. In the painting, two girls, in summer hats bright with startling red bows and yellow flowers, were sharing a book. The colors were rich, deep and swirling - it looked very much like a Renoir (I know my French artists). He’d done a whole “two girls” series. I drew closer - it wasn’t a print.

Though dazed by the opulence, I hadn’t missed what Karen had said. Will liked me. I longed to interrogate her about how exactly she knew Will liked me, and what form, exactly, Will’s liking took.

I know Will and Lisa (who would be joining us in a minute) are just friends. Not that it matters, we’re heading back to New Haven later - but Karen’s statements were capable of activating a girl's guy-dar.

Karen, wearing socks but no shoes, came to a sliding halt, on the wooden floor, by grabbing the door frame to stop an otherwise complete slide into the library. “You guys are going to the Ritz for lunch?” she asked, looking back over her shoulder, in a way that indicated that she knew the answer quite well.

The Ritz Carlton is a block away and our mission was to grab the food and bring it back here to eat. “Mind if I join?” she said, before I could answer her first question, all wide-eyed, blinking impatience.

“I don’t mind at ALL.” I said, Karen whooped and was off again down the hall. “I’M COMING TOO!” she yelled. I chuckled, knowingly - I’ve been there - I’m a little sister too.

The other night I snuck into the Grammys
It really wasn't that hard you see
I was dressed as the Daft Punk dude on the left
My own mother wouldn't have recognize me

I was on the elevator at the Ritz-Carlton
When one of those robots stepped in by himself
So I knocked him out then tied him up
And left him bundled up in the stair well

I put on the suit and the helmet
It's not hard to fake a french accent in those
The only problem I encountered that evening
Was the strong desire to scratch my nose

You know I was the life of the party
Mingling with all of the stars
For awhile I sat in the row with Shawn and Yoko
Still don't know which ones from Venus and which ones from Mars

I'm sure in the circles that those two hang with
They are as normal as all of the rest
Of course most of the rockers I met that night
Put normality to the test

I was a little nervous about preforming
But I just put my boogie shoes on
The only one there who would notice my radical rhythm
Was Stevie and he couldn't see what was going on

When we went up to accept our award
I waved and mumbled under my breath
I must of made it sound mighty profound
As the crowd all clapped and nodded their heads

I really had the best of times that night
Partying like it was 1999
Prince wasn't there but who really cares
When your behind Beyonce in the Mambo line

Slashers

I grew up when rock bands were first here
from out of nowhere they would apprear
long haired, bearded hippies makin noise

some were quite good once you figured them out
others were bad, couldnt sing a lick, only shout
wondered where they got the money to buy the toys

one thing they featured, were loud out of tune guitars
made more weird sounds, then the race track cars
but some of them knew or actually learned how to play

these were the slashers who knew more than 3 chords
spine tingling sounds, from electric wires on boards
the sounds were so new I would listen all day

now I'm gonna name a few who made an impression on me
I'm sure your opinions will differ and you won't agree
but mostly I'm talking bout the early days of underground rock

there are new ones I know who are slicker than snot
but these are the ones that I never forgot
I can still listen to them now around the clock

ok here we go, hold on to your hat, you can reply to me
if I left off  your favorite, and I'm sure I did;
  
clapton, page, Hendrix, Holdsworth and howe
Bill Nelson, Kath, nugent, krueger, Van Halen
blackmore, knopfler, doucette and Eric johnson
gambale, benson, carlton, farner, frampton
satriani, Johnny A., Gatton, atkins, mayer
schon, lukather, takanaka, ritnour and west
monty montgomery, wes montgomery, keaggy
trower, may, derringer and ford
santana, montrose, morse and Trevor rabin

Gomer LePoet...

We start talking
I get to know you
We’ve got a lot in common
Learning things we never used to
Maybe we’re the same
Maybe we’re one not two
But I’ve just gotta say...

[Chorus]
I’m not like you
You’re not like me
We’re not the same
We’re different entirely
No simple similarities
Are ever gonna make me see
Maybe we should let it be
But the truth is in individuality
You’re not like me...

We listen to the same music
You like the same bands that I do
You know who Vanessa Carlton is
Michelle Branch too
But when you sing
You’re singing rock and country
And when I sing
Its more pop and indie
So I think it’s fairly obvious
That...

[Chorus]

I’ll tell you now
We’ll never be together
Because we’re all flying away
Like birds of a different feather
So cut us in half
Make sure those bonds you do sever
No one will ever be like me, no one will ever be like you
Not now, not then, not soon, not ever
That’s right you’re not my forever
I’ll prove you wrong because
He’s not we and we’re never to be
Never
Never
Never
Never, why...
because

No one’s like you
No one’s like me
We’re not the same
As anybody else
We’re not us
We’re you and me

Now we’ve gotta help them see
Maybe then they’ll let it be
But the truth is in individuality
You’re not like me...
I’m not like you, and we both know I’ll never be
You’re not like me, and that will never bother me
Because You’re not like me...

Daddy daddy daddy
I love my darling daddy
Daddy daddy daddy
I love my darling daddy
I love my darling daddy
I really do love him
He used to watch the cricket with us
And we supported Carlton and the raiders oh yeah
We went to the YMCA
To do holiday programs and camps
And my darling daddy
Was the camp director
Daddy daddy daddy
I love my darling daddy
Daddy daddy daddy
I love my darling daddy
Daddy loved to joke with us
With his witty sense of humour
But mine was pretty good too
When as we walked past parliament
Saying let’s put our tents up
Because it was fun to muck with daddy my dear lovable daddy
Now Carlton are playing **** yeah
So are they raiders too
Daddy daddy daddy
I love my darling daddy
You see he is now Betty
David’s only daughter
Daddy daddy daddy
Is with dc and Barnsey now
Please daddy daddy daddy
Show me what kid you wanted me to be
I am sorry I fucken punched you
It was just my illness yeah
Daddy daddy daddy
I love my darling daddy
You loved to watch shows with mummy
And you met your mates every Saturday morn
You had a coffee in the arvo
And you made a game out of your walking
You walked everywhere
You inspired everyone yeah
Daddy daddy daddy
I love my darling daddy
I miss you in my family
But I still feel you are close

Oh, many bounds I've beaten well,
And many more I'll drub,
But through this maze I'll take the ways
That lead me to the pub.

Where worries may be left behind,
Where life's despair may fail,
Where peace has smiled on pints of mild
And blessed the winter ale.

Where folk may laugh, where folk may spend
A moment free from fear,
Where smiles may bless a game of chess
Beside two pints of beer.

And in my mind I see the bar,
The beers' familiar names!
The window-seat where old men meet,
Where children play their games!

Where still you'll find a Sunday lunch
On Sunday afternoon,
And God's own pie, denoted by
A number on a spoon.

Oh, many weary miles I've trod,
All filled with life's alarms,
But in my brains it still remains
My local Carlton Arms.

"I wouldn't know what to do; I think I would just rot in a corner," replied Zandra Rhodes when asked if she plans to retire anytime soon. The 76-year old British designer who was down in KL (it's her fourth time here now) for the recent KL Alta Moda held at Starhill Gallery where she showed a collection of beautiful songket pieces alongside her signature chiffon print dresses, shows no signs of slowing down even after an extensive six decade-long career that has seen her dressing both rockstars and royalty.

Dressed in one of her designs – a stunning midnight blue, tiered kaftan dress covered all over in gold squiggles, huge pearls and her trademark fuchsia bob, red lips and blue eyeshadow-rimmed eyes, Rhodes maintained a spirited, bubbly cheer at Ritz Carlton where we finally sat down with her after stealing her away mid-tea with the crème de la crème of Malaysia's society.

What's the story behind the collection that we've just seen?

We did a collection initiated by Dodi Mohammad – one that really focused on songket. We chose lovely iridescent greens and pinks, and various groups of clothes. Then I designed and worked on the weaves to make suits and short dresses. It was really to give it another look. Three quarters of the collection are made up of Malaysian songket weaves.

What about the archive looks that you included? How do they relate to the new collection?

I had students who couldn't believe how people were copying the things that I've did in the past – like the pink dress for Princess Diana or the gold dress that Pat Cleveland wore dancing at Studio 54. They suggested that I produce the collection again in a new look, so we did that for Matches Fashion in UK.

Your AW16 collection is said to be inspired by Studio 54 back in its heyday. Would you be able to share with us an interesting story of your own at Studio 54?

I remember with shame going to Studio 54 when they reopened. I sat down in the corner and I was so tired, I fell asleep. I'm sure I was the only person who would fall asleep in Studio 54. I also remember lots of times it was like the parting of the Red Sea when you went in there with Bianca Jagger or Pat Cleveland.

Could you tell us about the Hieronymus Bosch-inspired prints you created for Pierpaolo Piccioli's first solo collection at Valentino?

That was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. He flew over with two of his assistants, opened the Hieronymus Bosch book and said he wanted the collection based on that. And I'm thinking, "Do we want naked people all over it?" It was a fantasy look that I was completely overwhelmed with. I came up with five or six initial ideas and he would look at the things I did and say, "I like your wiggle" or "I like this." Finally, he looked at one of my designs – a lipstick design I had done in 1963 – and said that he wanted daggers and hearts, so we turned that into daggers and hearts and it was wonderful.

Is there anyone else on your collaboration wishlist?

Oh gosh, that's difficult. I think I really just pick and choose. For example, we're currently working on the idea of me doing a print for Anna Sui who is going to have an exhibition in my museum in London. We're going to do the print here in Malaysia using Malaysian fabrics.

Your dresses have been worn by iconic stars from Princess Diana to Pat Cleveland. If you could design an outfit for a current It girl, who would it be for?

I would love to do something for Princess Kate. It would be fabulous to do something for her. She always looks good.

If you could describe Malaysia as a print, what would it look like?

Mad Malaysian houses! I love looking at these tall blocks with curved roofs. I've done a Manhattan print but I think I should do a KL print. You'd need to put the Twin Towers in. I think there's room for a lot of things.

What projects have you got lined-up for the future?

At the moment, I'm designing for the Turandot opera, which is about a mad Chinese princess and a pair of lovers that get beheaded. It's wonderfully mad. It's due to be out in San Diego in 2018.

You've been working since the 60s, any plans of settling into retirement soon?

I wouldn't know what to do; I think I would just rot in a corner.

What inspires you?

Wonderful people. I think it's one's friends. It's very important to do something and exchange ideas. I also love traveling when I get the chance. It's really a case of seeing how far my adventures can take me.

What do you think has been the key to your longevity in this industry?

I'd say longevity is the result of hard work and enjoying what you do. If you do something and it doesn't succeed, you pick yourself up and have another go. You never give up.

Describe yourself in 3 words.

Pink, short, makeup.

What would your hair be if not pink?

I think it will be several different colors. I see all these people with all these different colours, I think I might try that next.

What's your hobby?

Cooking and gardening.

If you weren't a fashion designer, what would you be doing?

I don't know, I don't have time to think about that.

What's the best advice anyone has ever given you?

Oh, good one! Be careful who you step on going up, cause you might have to lean on them going down.Read more at:www.marieaustralia.com/one-shoulder-formal-dresses | http://www.marieaustralia.com/red-formal-dresses

Listening to Dave Grusin,
"Mountain Dance," vintage 1979.
The thought strikes:
"Why is it that only the
Early Jazz Giants are deified?
Of course, we need Chet Baker and
Miles Davis in our pantheon, &
Gerry Mulligan & Charlie Parker
Not to mention (cue Soupy Sales:
"Smack. I told you not to mention that!")
Coltrane or Stan Getz.
And yet, we're all getting long teeth and
there's a lot more Smooth Jazz to come,
Post-1950s, take Grusin, for example, or
George Benson or Herbie Hancock, and
What about Earl Klugh & Larry Carlton?
Let's not forget Spyro Gira &
The Daves: Benoit and Koz.
And we would be remiss
To miss Chris, young Chris,
Chris - "The Whippersnapper" - Botti.
But I digress.

I want to wake up when I want
And then slowly get to my feet.
I want to have a breakfast
That is very much like a treat.
I want to dawdle over my coffee
And take lazy, leisurely stock.
And, I want to do all of this
Without waking to a clock.

For I hate that awful buzzing
That it takes to shake me awake.
I find the racket ruins dreams
And is too much for me to take.
I want to sit where late morning
Sends its sweet shine in on me
While I sup and sip and dine
Like a member of royalty.

Oh, I am not so snooty myself
That I don’t prepare this repast
With my own two clever hands
And at that, amazingly fast.
It’s almost like my hands want
To hide from my waking mind
That the meal I am having is not
Not the made by Ritz-Carlton kind.

I want to waken to cognizance
In a particularly decadent way.
I find it totally disgusting to
Rush madly into any given day.
I’d sit in smoking jacket and slippers
If I had such magazine attire.
And if it were chilly upon rising
I would magically manifest a fire.

Of course I don’t have a fireplace
To go right along with plain jammies
So instead of brocade robes and such
I very short of mystical whammies.
I can’t witch up this storybook stuff
Of class A, high-class pomposity.
But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t wish
To have it all appear before me.

They’d gone to live in an old stone house
On the further side of a hill,
‘You’ll come to enjoy the countryside.’
She said, ‘I never will!
I’ll miss my friends and the city streets,
And where will I go to shop?’
‘You shop too much as it is,’ he said,
‘Perhaps it’s the time to stop.’

He’d taken a job on a local farm,
He wanted to get away,
Away from her supercilious friends,
The ones that had made her stray.
He’d caught her necking with Edward Jones
At the Carlton, out for a drink,
The ***** was seeping into her bones,
She needed to stop, and think.

She said it was only harmless fun,
He didn’t mean much to her,
‘He’s just a friend that I’ve known since when,
It was just a peck, I swear.’
‘Your friend’s been after your skirt too long,
He drinks you into a fog,
He’ll take advantage, so you beware,
I’ve heard that he’s called ‘Black Dog!’

She wandered around the house alone
When he went to work at the farm,
Scoured the house for a bottle of gin,
Or something to keep her warm.
She looked out over the countryside,
Was suddenly on her guard,
For bounding over the garden stile
Was a ******* dog in the yard.

His coat was sleek, and his body lean
And his tongue lolled out of his jaw,
She took a slug of the Gilbey’s Gin
Found hidden behind a door.
The dog lay panting, and stared at her
With its eyes of grim intent,
While she stared back through the window pane,
And trembled until it went.

A week went by, and it came each day,
And stared at her from the yard,
She couldn’t move while the dog was there
But she kept the windows barred.
When Ben came home from his daily toil
He could see she was most upset,
‘You’re pale and shivering, Gail,’ he said,
‘What seems to be wrong, my pet?’

‘I can’t go into the garden, Ben,
I’m stuck in this house all day,
It’s cold and lonely within these walls
Each time that you go away.’
‘You need to open the doors,’ he said,
‘And open the windows too,
You should be letting the sun shine in
With the fresh air blowing through.’

She didn’t tell him about the dog,
She thought that he’d think her mad,
‘It’s only a dog,’ she thought he’d say,
And suddenly felt quite sad.
‘I’ll try,’ she muttered, but shook inside
At the thought of an open door,
With a ******* dog come wandering in,
And slavering at the jaw.

It came each day for another week
Then she threw the window wide,
The breeze rushed in and it calmed her down
With the scent of the countryside.
The dog came up to the window then
And it placed its paws on the sill,
Its eyes had gleamed, turned red it seemed
And it almost broke her will.

She seemed to hear in her inner ear
What the dog, in its gruff, low tones,
Was beaming into her mind, so clear,
‘Come back to Edward Jones!
He’ll keep you clear of the countryside
And you’ll have your friends as well,’
But reflected back from the black dog’s eyes
Was a scene from the depths of Hell!

That night, she spoke of the dog to Ben,
But he laughed, and shrugged it away,
‘It’s probably just a farmer’s dog
That comes over here to play.’
‘It’s more than that, I’m afraid of it,
For its eyes are cruel and hard,’
Then Ben leaned over the window-sill,
The black dog stood in the yard.

It stayed a moment and then was gone,
It leapt back over the stile,
Then disappeared in a darkened field
While Ben just stood for a while.
His face was pale when he turned to Gail
And he said, ‘I’ll buy a gun.
He won’t come worrying you again,
By God, I’ll make him run!’

He came back home the following day
To a house, so cold and still,
He placed the gun on the table, then
Looked over the window-sill.
The black dog stared, and its eyes were red
As it sneered its disregard,
For a ***** went following on behind
As they both took off from the yard.

David Lewis Paget

It's a hard life for Dr Brife from the Buddhist temple



Dr Brife has just left Taibet to start up his own practice in Carlton in Melbourne, but the only problem is, that this hospital has just been reopened since the Coopers owned it back in 1991, and it has been given a facelift since that tragic bomb back then.
Dr Brife arrived there but amongst other things he decided not to say he was a Buddhist because most of the population is Christian and he feels that if he mentions his faith, he mightn't have a job very long, but, yes he was peaceful to everyone, no matter who walked through the door, on his first day he had a man who has alcoholic poisoning with not many days to live, and he asked Dr Brive if he can drink beer, becaus if he can't be saved, what 's the point of trying, at least he wanted to go out of this world having fun, and mind you when he says he wants to have fun, he is likely to have so many affairs, his wife and kids add them to the affairs about his will, saying which child will get which wife, none of them wanted these wives, but the eldest son wanted Teri Berger, because she was hot, but that just blew up in his face, and his next patient was Rob Parkin who was a retired doctor, and despite years of preaching to other people, he was so stubborn about his diabetes from too many candy bars, and Dr Brive told him that he must give them up or he will die, and the doctor told him to F off and then left without signing the piece of paper and Dr Brive said send out the bill, and his next patient was 11 year old Harry who at the age of 9 was diagnosed with cancer and he has been going to camp quality, a lot, and he has fun there, but today he was doing his kemotherapy and Dr Brive can't seem to find the cancer, and asked his old doctor for another opinion, because they did see the cancer before and Harry waited as they did tests and Harry was getting excited but Dr Brive said, don't get too excited, yet, because I haven't spoke to your doctor yet, and he knows more than me.
Harry waited for half an hour and then both doctors came in and Dr Brive showed his old doctor the chart and then showing him that there doesn't seem to be any cancer there.
Them Dr Brive asked where was his cancer located, and he said,,it was brain cancer, and yes, I can't seem to find it but I must check it a bit further, just to make sure it isn't going to find his way back, and then he checked and said, you haven't got cancer at the moment, but be careful, don't forget, your cancer looked to be hard to treat, so it could come back, I want you to visit Dr Brive once a week, just to make sure that it stays away, do you think you can do it.
Harry was so excited that his cancer has gone, from that day he wanted to have fun, meanwhile Dr Brive's next patient was Rita Hollingworth, and she has obesity, and she doesn't like doctors, even when they say that she is eating herself to an early grave, but Dr Brive didn't do that, in fact he was nice, and said the first step to losing weight is being treated like an adult, you see it keeps the peace and makes the big person feel grown up and motivated, and every day Rita would complain how downgrading the biggest loser is.
But Dr Brive said, just hang in there and remember to try to stop eating things you love instead of healthy food.
Dr Brive's next patient was also suffering from obesity but this lady also suffers from acute schitzophrenia and the medication that she was on made her fat, and she has no self esteem, and Dr Brive decided that really no one should be put on a un healthy medication and Dr Brive put hsr on another drug abs says we are slowly taking you off those awful hunger drugs and put you on Seroquel, and take 1 400 before you go to bed, and with everything going well, you should be feeling good again soon, and that was the end of Dr Brive's first day and when he finished he went to the Buddhist shelter and meditated for 1 hour, and after that went home to play Buddhist music in his garage, and the whole street liked him and wanted to hear his music as if it brought everyone closer to their Buddhist soul, which is the soul that travels between lives.

Y, and a b for *******, the two little idiots



Y stands for YMCA
The ****** Christian *****
And every day they go around
And support each other,,oh yeah
Yes, it's so cool to see these people show off
You see the big boss from the YMCA
And the b for ******* which hang around at the club
And they drink their VB, as well as the Carlton draught
And also a tooheys blue ad well
And also have a nice cold XXXX
Watching the skateboards of the tele
Then after that, they head to the pub
And go crazy on all that beer

Women’s afl

Round 1

Geelong. 3. 6. 24
Collingwood. 3. 5. 23


Bulldogs. 2. 6. 18
Adelaide. 1. 11. 17


Kangaroos. 7. 10. 52
Carlton 2. 4. 16



Fremantle 9. 5. 59
Melbourne 8. 7. 55


Brisbane. 4. 5. 29
GWS. 4. 3. 27

Some very close games
Shows that women’s afl can be very exciting not as high scoring as the men but the women played very well
Well done to Geelong bulldogs kangaroos Fremantle and Brisbane
The champions are upon us today
Each game was exciting to play
Each team played well but only one winner is allowed
Unless it is a draw

We’re in NYC - at last - on Christmas vacation, and it feels like a pardon.

It’s amazing what can happen in just a few wild and change-filled hours. One minute, seemingly, you’re in a picture postcard rural-scape (I think campus fits that), where crickets choir in rhythm, and the next you're in a Manhattan high-rise 50th floor kitchen, eating Fruity Pebbles for breakfast and looking down on man's lesser creations.

It’s 9am, 37° and clear this morning. Central Park looks bright and multicolored, like the lonely rectangle of nature was determined to spend its last fall day in spectacle. The sun’s glowing too, warming the earth with the glory of heaven. Its beams are so bright and crisp, that even the deeper shadows seem fair.

“I think I just saw a UFO,” I said to no one in particular, a second after something whizzed by the kitchen window.
“A UAP,” Leeza (Lisa’s 14 yo sister) corrected me, “and it was a helicopter,” she updogged.
“Then it wasn’t a UAP?” I asked, as if confused.
Leeza carefully selected a blue pebble-flake and flicked it at me - I ducked - because she can be deadly accurate with those things.
Leeza gets prettier every time I see her, she has deep-dark, wavy red hair brushed with copper highlights, green eyes and the coltish beauty of adolescence. She’s taller than me now, which seems somehow unfair.

Lisa’s front door chimed, and two voices called “Morning!” It was Will & Karen, two friends who live with the poor people down on the 46th floor. “Morning!” They repeated again, as they came into the kitchen. Will’s 20 and Karen’s a salty 12. Since Lisa’s mom is named Karen too, I’m going to shorten 12-yo Karen’s name to Kay.
“What’s for breakfast?” Will asked, looking around. Kay, a slim, waif-like pixie with jet-black hair, went over to Leeza, opening her mouth like a little bird and Leeza fed her a spoonful of Fruity Pebbles and milk as if practiced.

The morning I met Kay, two years ago (when she was 10), she offhandedly told me Will ‘liked’ me. While nothing ever came of that - we’re just friends - I always feel kind of ‘attractive’ around him - you know what I mean? Like I hold the jewel of his esteem. I mention that, because Lisa and I made an early start, abandoning morning vanities for a 7am hop-over Long Island Sound. I probably look like something evolution hasn’t bothered with - but let’s bowdlerize that.

Lisa’s in the living room rearranging the presents - it’s her job as the official head-elf. When Lisa and I came in, Leeza grabbed me by the hand, dragging me towards the guest bedroom, “Look at all the packages,” She marveled.
“Maybe I got carried away,” I admitted, looking at them for the first time.
“You’re obsessive,” she pronounced. “Ya think,” I snarked, “have we met?” I asked jokingly, while offering her my hand as if in introduction.

We’re going shopping in a bit - as soon as Charles gets back from settling in at the Ritz Carlton (about a block away). We want the fevered and manic NYC-Christmas shopping experience - the chill air, the gabble and fuss of the crowds and the joy of the season passing person to person, like bacteria trading plasmids.
.
.
Like Christmas tunes?
Stream one or two of MY (free) unique Christmas playlists.
Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!
http://daweb.us/xmas/

THE LAST 6 HOURS OF THE YEAR, WE WILL PARTY DOWN, MAN



HI DUDEY WOODEYS, THIS IS GOING TO BE RADICALLY AWESOME, CAUSE

WE ARE ABOUT TO ENTER THE LAST 6 HOURS OF THIS FANTASTIC YEAR

AT 6 PM, OUR FRIENDS WERE STARTING TO COME FOR THE BIG SMASH SLAP TOGETHER

NEW YEARS EVE BBQ, YEAH, YOU SEE WE HAD COCA COLA, AND VB TOO

YES, A FEW MEN DRANK CARLTON DRAUGHT, SINGING DRINKING GAMES

AND OTHER GREAT SONGS, AS DAD COOKED SNAGS ON THE PLATE

YEAH THIS PARTY IS REALLY ROCKING DUDES, YEAH WE LOOK SET TO PARTY TILL LATE

AT 7 PM, WE HAVE FINISHED WITH THE MEAL AND THE KIDS NICKED OFF TO THE FRONT YARD

THEY PLAYED FRONT YARD CRICKET, AND IF THE BALL WAS HIT ON THE ROAD ON THE FULL

WE’LL MAKE IT STRIKE SIX AND OUT, THEN THE ADULTS CAME AROUND TO JOIN THE KIDS

BUT HATED THE RESULT, CAUSE THE KIDS WHIPPED THEIR **** AND THIS CRICKET MATCH

YEAH THE KIDS ARE THE WINNERS, SO THEY BROUGHT THE PUNCHBOWL TO USE AS THE WORLD SERIES CUP

AT 8 PM, THE NIGHT WAS FAST APPROACHING AND THE MOZZIES WERE EATING AT THE LADIES LEGS

THE MEN HAD THE RIGHT IDEA, SITTING BY THE COMPUTER WATCHING TOPSY THE CLOWN ON YOUTUBE INSTEAD

YEAH THEY ALL WERE SIPPING THEIR DRINKIEPOOS, YEAH THEY WERE NICE, OH YEAH

A GREAT NIGHT FOR QUALITY ENTERTAUNMENT, OOH OOH YEAH

AT 9PM, THE WHOLE GANG WERE GATHERING AROUND THE TELEVISION WATCHING THE FIREWORKS

AND ALL THE KIDS WERE HAPPY, SO WERE THE ADULTS, YEAH EVERYONE WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN, OH YEAH

AND AUNTY JOE, DROPPED FRUIT PUNCH ALL OVER THE LOUNGE

AT 10PM, EVERYONE WATCHED SHAUN MCALLEF ON TV, HE MIGHT BE STUPID, HE MIGHT BE A FOOL, BUT

SURE MATE, YEAH, HE BROKE EVERY GOLDEN RULE ABOURT PARTYING, AND THAT WAS RESPECTING EVERY PARTY GOER

WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT, SO WE TURNED OFF THAT CRAP AND DECIDED TO TALK OURSELVES

THAT WAS BETTER, OUR STORIES ARE BETTER THAN WHAT SHAUN WOULD EVER TELL

AT 11PM, THE KIDS WERE GETTING TIRED, CAUSE THEY RAN OUT OF BREATH, US ADULTS ARE LUCKY WE HAVE A MARGARITA TO SHARE

IT KEEPS US AWAKE, IT MAKES US FEEL GREAT, THEN MOTHER CAME AND BROUGHT OUT LAST HOUR OF YEAR NIBBLES

SO WE CAN SIT THERE AND ENJOY EATING RIGHT FOR THIS LAST HOUR

AT 11.55 PM WE TURNED ON THE BOX, AND WE ALL SANG SONGS OH YEAH, JOHN SANG FLY BURGERS, GEORGE SANG BREAK AWAY

PETE SANG HANNAH MONTANA’S NOBODY’S PERFECT, THE LOUNGE ROOM FELT LIKE SATURDAY NIGHT IN A NIGHT CLUB

AND IT FELT THAT RIGHT TILL THE 10   9   8   7   6   5   4   3   2    1 AND THEN WE POPPED OUR PARTY POPPERS AND

AT 12 MIDNIGHT, WE ALL SCREAMED OUT A GIANT HAPPY NEW YEAR

WITH ALL THE ADULTS AND KIDS AS WELL ARE GATHERING AT THIS HOUSE

AS WE PARTY THE YEAR OF 2014 AND WELCOME 2015 IN WITH A SMILE

YOU SEE OLD MEN SIP THEIR BEER SAYING OH DEAR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

I SAY TO THEM, HAPPY NEW YEAR, MAKE SURE YOU GO HOME, AND HAVE A SHOWER

CAUSE, MAN, YOU FUCKEN SMELL

AND DUDEY WOODEYS, WE ARE GOING TO DO THIS NEXT YEAR, SO BE AWARE

Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink all his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of the vb
Sink it down for me me
Get totally ****** you see see
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink all his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of the Carlton
Get drunk on it and sink it
Get totally ****** you see see
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of the tooheys
Oh man I feel like a tooheys
Get totally ****** you see see
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of XXXX
Get totally ****** while having ***
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of Hahn lite
We must drink it down like we can fight
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
You see dr drinkerbocker will drink all this just to get drunk