Vi A
Vi A
May 4      May 11, 2014

You may have died young,
        but as long as
        my words live,

You will never grow old.

I'm sorry Papa
Feb 12

I talked about you today.
I haven't talked about you like that since you died.
Even saying that is hard to hear.
I stood up in front of them and tired to talk.
That's when I realized that I was shaking.
I could feel the light buzz from it and I tried to hide it,
but they all could see it.
I almost lost my cool.
Since when have I let them win?
When did they become right about me?
Because not being able to speak a single word about you,
without breaking down and screaming,
is a sign that I am still a train wreak of fear.
I try to keep calm,
and hide my fear from them,
but I just want to sit down and break everything that I can get my hands on,
but that's not what you would want me to do,
and that would not only disappoint me,
but also you...

I'm sorry Papa

In your presence I feel edified  and loved
Something that I've never experienced when I'm with others.

Your love so great
You died for me.
But yet who am I?  
A lowly worthless servant who can't seem to hear your call,
Left aimless treading on this earth.

Blaming you is easy
Scolding you ensures nothing.
When I ask of anything
You gladly give.

It's funny how things ended up like this
And hell am I afraid
Of what's about to happen.

I trust in you, knowing you'll guide.
You've never failed me.
You won't.

Jan 3, 2013      Jan 4, 2013

Little things
my dad does,
today he put
a new tooth
brush by my
sink after I
wanting new

(c) Brooke Otto
But papa I need you now more then ever
Eleanor Brancati
Eleanor Brancati
Mar 26, 2013

My birthdays tomorrow
I'll be 16
Never would I have thought
I would spend it with out you
You have missed so much
Why did you leave us?

Why wouldnt you let us help!
I should be so mad about that
But I'm not I love you
Nothing can change that
I know you're in a better place now
Happy and better

But papa I need you now more then ever
Everything is a mess without you
Please come back
Tell me you love me
Tell me happy birthday
Tell me goodbye

I want you back
You have missed to much
You are missing us grow up
Evie doesn't remember you.....
Even I'm starting to forget

I don't want you to be just a memory
I want to be able to hear you
Talk to you
Hug you
Kiss you

All in all
I just want you back
I love you

my beautiful papa.
He doesn't look at me anymore.
His smile has disappeared from his face.
Papa's bones are as thin as the weeds out back.
Remember papa?
You made me that handmade bike because you couldn't afford me a real one.
Your hands were the only things that helped me and momma.
The medicine you take, the bed you live in,
Your only depends.
I'm the one you should depend on papa.
I hold your fragile hand as you shake in fear.
Papa, your fever is too high.
On some nights, I sit with you in the oddest hours, keeping a cool damp towel placed  on your forehead.
The medicine can only hold you here for so long.
Papa, I can't sleep knowing that you're coughing your life away.
I stay up thinking of the days we use to spend in the blistering sun.
You drinking your ginger beer, giving me a sip.
It was sweet, yet burned on my tongue as it went in the back of my throat.
Warm feeling.
Papa, you were there for me when my days were dark and momma wouldn't be around.
She works a lot more now.
Why does life have to take the only thing I need to live?
Papa, you're getting weaker.
The hammer and nails you use to use, now mock your lack of strength.
Momma can only do so much.
Remember when the holidays would come around and you'd be out so long?
Scorching yourself to find the one gift for me?
Weary and tired you would always be,
you did it for me.
Papa, it's my turn now.
I loved the way you would smell during the mid-summer days.
The burnt cigarettes and fabric sweat was your name brand smell.
Every night,
you would come home beat with sweat beads on your forehead from the hat you wore.
It resembled the long weary hours you worked for that money.
Stale bread bottoms and scarce water was all we had.
Holy socks and beaten shoes was all I needed.
It was all you could afford papa.
Now life is in my hands.
Your sickness is the only tight bond left that's keeping us close.
Papa, you're daydreaming again.
Collarbones and hip bones are not suppose to be visible on you papa.
It's hurting me more than it's hurting you.
Your eyes are glossy.
The hair on your head that was once thick and brown,
has now gone grey and thin.
You're undernourished.
Papa, I can see the fear in your eyes.
You're worried about me and momma.
Don't worry.
Sad how the doctors turn their heads in shame.
They can't do anything.
If you leave me as I'm speaking,
remember that your life has given me great fortune.
Whether it was working till your knuckles bled or staying up all night with me,
just know that you're a wonderful papa.

Gemini Baker
Gemini Baker
Feb 7, 2013

His eyes just like mine
Stare into my eyes

Unspoken words
Hidden tears

Although not said,
All is seen and all is felt

Papa repeats bad jokes
Lindsey Bartlett
Lindsey Bartlett
Nov 28, 2012

Papa repeats bad jokes
like a broken record, an overplayed
and under paid radio station
that forgot how many times
we've heard the same

Out to eat at a fine dining
Mexican restaurant, Papa orders
a hot dog. The waiter
doesn't get it. The joke, nor the
hot dog.

Who would guess so many
bad one-liners and puns lie behind
your dark leather skin and
tired jaw? The waiter cannot tell
that buried underneath pages of wrinkles and
stoic smiles, Papa
is only joking.

you're in heaven now papa, getting your wings
Ashley Brooke Payne

I hope you've found your peace, your laughter
in a place of no pain, the great ever after
here on earth our tears are shed
but i'm proud of the life you led
how you gave me hope, courage to be
all the things the world should see
the battle you fought was hard, struggle every day
and even though i didn't want to let you go away
it hurt me to see you suffer, and be in pain
memories wash over me, soft like rain
you will always be in my heart, now, forever
in heaven all our loved ones will gather together
they will welcome you with open arms, a smile
but sometimes it feels like we only had a little while
i'm grateful i got to say goodbye
and even when i feel like i'm going to cry
i know you've found that place
where the sun always shines on your face
and music is always in the air
someday we'll all be there
i'm so thankful for you, you taught me so many things
you're in heaven now papa, getting your wings

Erin Finn
Erin Finn
Apr 29, 2013

I broke another bowl
you used to use

7:18, the toast was
burning and
I was trying
to pull a plate
down to me; I knocked
your bowl onto the floor

My fingers are clumsy.

It isn’t sad unless
I think about it.

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