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richard Jan 2018
Why
Why?
Do I continue to try,
Do I continue to lie,
Do I desire to die,
Do I sometimes feel happiness, but inside I cry.
Why?
Cant I have just one good day.
Cant I just make all my problems go away.
Does my heart lead me astray.
Does my conscious try to guide me but I turn it away.
Why?
Do my emotions change, for no apparent reason.
Do I have so many emotional lesions.
Do I want to cut myself and watch the bleeding.
Do I try to resolve this by constantly eating.
Why?
Isn't it obvious I'm a mental, emotional mess.
I know what it is, I must confess...
They say I'm bipolar, have anxiety, and I'm severely depressed.
So God, I must know, for all the issues on my chest...
Why?
richard Jan 2018
Death...
It is the one certainty in life.
As soon as your born it lurks in the shadows.
It has no conscious so its emotionally shallow.
Whether young or old it will undesirably come one day.
To take loved ones, friends and strangers away.
It promises for sickness or health, for better or worse.
Its mankind's only unescapable curse.
Whether rich or poor theres no negotiating.
Its coming for you, without any debating.
It encompasses us all, has us waiting in fear.
Because you never know the day or time it will be here.
For many they never see it coming.
Others see it, because theres no need for running.
Older than us all but has no end to itself.
Possibly lurking at your door depending on the cards you're dealt.
One second you're feeling fine, enjoying life with no worries, symptoms or shortness of breath.
Then unexpectedly you get a tap at your shoulder, turn around, and its death.
richard Jan 2018
It started so simple with just a gentle stare
Then I pulled her close to me as i ran my fingers thru her hair
Gently kissing her with my hand caressing the back of her neck
Pulling her closer, kissing passionately, as your body my hands inspect
Grabbing her by the hips as I **** on her bottom lip
Moving to her neck as we start to strip
Caressing gently as I start to nibble
Lay her on the bed, my head moving to her chest
Slowly licking and ******* on the *******
The moaning starts as the juices start to trickle
Moving down while my hands gently glide down her side
Spreading her legs but not yet going inside
Down one leg kissing past the knees
To the toes as i lick giving pleasure, and tease
Now to the other foot as i **** the other toes
Back towards the knees my head goes
As i go up further headed to the prize
With just one flick of the tongue her back arches and she closes her eyes
Round and round with the tongue as fingers slide inside
Massaging that sweet spot as i gently lick and **** on the pearl
Arching her back grabbing my hair screaming for more
Screams out loud "I've never felt like this before...
what are you doing to me"
Then "it feels like my should has left my body"
I peek up but don't stop her body is aglow
I keep going and going until i feel her explode
Then she says "I need a break,baby come here, give me a kiss, i need you next to me"
"*** never in my life have i felt such Ecstasy!"
richard Jan 2018
They say that money is the root of all evil,
Its whats constantly controlling people.
Money is what runs the world,
What is most sought by every man, child, woman and girl.
All these young kids with ******* schemes...
Internet celebrities, half *** rappers, and scarface dreams.
People want it overnight but its not what it seems.
What happened to this world and wanting a career?
Now twerking and drug activity is all you see and hear
Wanting to contribute to society is just a thing of the past
It seems now all that matters is money, getting high, and *** *** ***
Not everything that glitters is gold, and what looks good may not be good for you.
Yet the message today is if you have money people will adore you
What happened to helping others and trying to better the world, respecting your elders and being faithful, loving your girl
We need to get back to loving and having standards as people...
It wouldn't be hard if people remembered money is the root of all evil
richard Jan 2018
Emotions changing like the weather.
One minute I'm happy, then just like that depressed, when will it get better.
Isolating myself for days at a time...
Because i have no one to talk to about the thoughts in my mind.
People call me crazy, and ask whats wrong with me?
Nobody understands that i deal with anxiety, depression, and ptsd.
So i feel alone in this world with no one to love or understand me.
I wish they could look into my mind and see...
What i deal with daily, so they can understand me.
I feel like I'd be a burden with all of this stress...
Like my life is useless and just big mess.
Who can i talk to, where can i turn...
Medicine is to no avail, talking makes me feel worse.
Why God Why do i deserve this curse?
I pray for the day when things get better.
I dont want to go on living like this forever.
Joy, sadness, depression, anger and pain....
All theses emotions and feelings constantly rotating has me drained.
I wish there was a simple solution some magical potion
To eleviate my pain and manage these emotions.
richard Jan 2018
As I lay alone wondering why...
My mind races and I begin to cry.
I don’t want to talk, because no one cares...
Looking around for help but no ones there.
How can I go on with this on my brain.
Time to say goodbye I can no longer maintain.
So I grab a bottle, turn it up till nothings left.
Pulling my hair while I scream with all my breath.
The worlds better without me I start to figure.
So I grab the gun, put it to my head, but I can’t pull the trigger.
I fall to my knees, slam my fist and cry, cry, cry.
Why God why do I contemplate suicide.
Just thoughts
richard Jan 2018
Untitled
With every day comes great sadness.
Why is my life filled with so much pain, and madness?
Seems like every wakening brings another problem...
With no joy, or a way to solve them.
Then one day i met this beautiful girl...
Who brought sunshine to my darkness, my beautiful pearl.
Making all my pains a thing of the past.
Intrigued by love and happiness, but how long will this last?
Many years have passed and she is still by my side.
With all my ups and downs, she's been there for the ride.
Now my life is nothing but wonderful days.
She's shown me how to love and be happy in every way.
Theres a positive to every negative no matter how bad it may seem.
Once a dark soul but now i have love, joy, and a Queen.
Ten years strong and she is still in love with me...
Thank you for making me the best man I can be.

— The End —