How am I aware?
When did I become aware?
What is aware?
Does a lion know they are a lion?
What do they call themselves?
Does the Zebra know it is only a Zebra?
Does it know it's cause of death is a Lion round the neck?
As it bleeds does it remember it's family?
Does the Lion remember its first kill?
Do the buzzards have an opinion on the situation?
As they argue over dinner do they also debate?
The birds squak " if humans are aware, why aren't they aware of us?"
The giraffes chime in " why do they pretend our home is a wasteland?"
The monkeys holler "humans build concrete caves to hide from awareness"
The hyenas laugh " what stupid animals!"
The leopard whispers "aren't we all?"
being the indecisive teenage boy I am,
I'm still unsure whether it is wise to call you...
but being the overthinker I am,
I'm aware of a million and one reasons why I shouldn't,
I've thought up hypothetical situations where things could go dismally wrong.
being the hopeless romantic I am,
I've also thought up the perfect conversation:
You: Hello, who's this?
Me: Oh, thank goodness, it's me, that guy from the party. I just wanted to see if you were dead yet, but by the sound of that beautiful voice, I'm sure you aren't.
You: Awww, thanks. Hi, how are you?
Me: No, how are you? I've been waiting three days for you to say good morning back...
You: Aww, reallyy? I'm sorry, good morning (with a soft giggle). I'm good...[or you could scare me with: thanks to your call, I'm feeling good]
I'm too lazy to think further...
but it ends with you saying that you'll meet up with me for lunch in a few days, me finally being man enough to call you "zebra" (and you adoring it, even though it's such a stupid nickname) - and also, with you confessing your feelings for me while my reply is short, simple and vague:
Yeah, you'd be so flustered by my one-word reply, that you spend the whole night thinking about the mixed signals I'm sending you and fall asleep only to dream of me.
It seems foolproof to me,
the problem is,
what happens if you have a boyfriend...
or you're hurt and you're in hospital,
or your mom picks up the phone -
And those are a few of the stupid reasons that I'm afraid of dialing your number...
But I'm still thinking of you, I wish there was some way you could know how much you're killing me by not talking to me.
This girl's treating me unfairly - I deserve better (but I'm so intoxicated that I wanna fkn settle for less :v )
She stirs too many conflicting and incomprehensible emotions within me, she awakens too many things for my brain to spend an eternity pondering...
She's too much for my brain to decipher.
Yet she fuels the pumping of my heart.
Anyways, she's an enigma...
I'm a cruel person,
I know because I hurt people -
and I act cold-blooded about it.
So, if I'm cruel,
then you're kind...because opposites attract,
if you're kind,
then how are you hurting me?
The weakest part of me too:
Are you fucking doing this to me?
one day you like me,
next you don't,
while I stay up at night trying to reach a conclusion from your ever-changing emotions,
to no avail,
I get more pissed off,
Will you stop it already?
can you be clear?
this is beyond cruel,
I don't do this to anyone,
I make my feelings obvious -
or I hide and lock them away...
But you go from I really really like you
to, you're so boring.
From, I'm totally obsessed to,
will you stop burdening me already...
I don't know what to do,
how to react,
how to rectify this situation,
I don't even know if you're worth it anymore -
every time you say hi,
my heart tells me that this lady playing with me is somebody I must chase,
it screams, "I must have her!!!"
While my brain sits back and watches from afar, thinking,"Here we go again..."
is my heart fucked up? Am I the one who's messed up...
crazy... for falling for you?
Cute little girl, please learn English, because, I'm stupid teenage boy :3 or, everything will be lost in translation and well, something that could be good will never be - or something that could be bad would never happen :v
I wonder what will happen when you and I are alone,
I'm scared you'll bring out the one side I've tactically hidden from you:
My dirty minded side,
The one who is very fluent in innuendoes.
I wonder what will happen if we go to the movies together...
What I mean is,
Would we actually watch the movie?
Or would we be too busy doing something else?
I wonder, would you be easily influenced by an aggressive me,
Or would you be taking the reins and making the demands?
Or, perhaps, you want me to plant my dirty ideas in your head through a whisper?
Do you want me to woo you into submission,
Get you so hot that you forget how to say no?
Cute little girl,
If you fear this me,
Then I'm sorry -
I think it's the 3 AM atmosphere stimulating these dirty thoughts.
-sincerely, dirty minded me c:
Why do you do this to me?
Why do I ponder the taste of your lips,
And... Ummm... Nape of your neck?
Why do I long to sniff your hair,
And store the lovely scent in my memory?
What's up with me
And fantasising the texture of your hands?
And isn't it a bit too much for me to replay your voice notes because you're too busy to chat?
I don't know why,
But I think you're elegant -
Maybe because my vision is distorted by googly eyed eyes?
I don't know,
That stuff in the movies is real girl,
Everything in slow motion,
The glistening of your hair...
Guys staring at you with their jaws dropped.
Come to me innocent being,
Come into my shaky open arms,
And this isn't just about you, you know, right?
I've got aches that I'd like your soft kisses to relieve,
I've got secrets that I can only tell you,
And fantasies in which you will be the female protagonist.
You said you saw me two nights ago,
I wonder if you liked what you saw,
Please tell me the stupid guy you talked to
Is becoming very interesting to you,
Regardless of his skinny frame...
That I didn't share too much with you as I revealed my greatest fear.
Please tell me, you like me for me,
And you don't want me to change an ounce of who I am.
Please tell me you like me,
You want me,
You need me -
You've already got me.
(lol, it's true though...)
It's a good thing that I didn't tell her I wrote poems lol, this kind of stuff would freak her out xD