The moments when words are choked up by your own tears
The times you were chased by your worst fears
The amount of time I waited for it to pass, all those years
The people who were beside you through it all slowly disappears
The end of your suffering slowly, slowly nears
Happiness sometimes interferes
Coming in playing with your emotions
Ticking your feelings for a small giggle
But it shows no devotions
Leaves your life grey
While you wait for it to end
While you keep playing pretend
Waiting for the end
~6/4/21

The glass broke
Like my voice when I spoke
When my head insisted
But my heart persisted
But life goes on
Ill be "ok" by dawn

Isn't it messed up
The way I only feel like somebody
The only time I truly feel real
Is when I'm someone else
In a daydream that never ends

The concept of me, of now
Is so far and distant
It echos from somewhere deep inside me
Somewhere I can't find
Somewhere I don't look

How can I do or be what's expected of me
When that person doesn't exist
How can I be the perfect child
When the only freedom I've ever known
Is when I lock myself in my minds cage?

How can I comfort someone
When all I know are phantom hugs?
How do I feel success
When every accomplishment I've achieved
Has never been enough?

What future do I look to
When all my dreams are trampled on
By people who can't see what I do, but know better
Why is life only worth living
When I block it out with make-believe?

No lock on the chains today
There is nothing left for you to say
Besides you can't put me on display
No way that I'll stay
Sound okay?

Pick the color, the style
Tell me to sit, stay a while
Wanting to go the extra mile
Not this time

Couldn't get me last time
Won't get me again
No matter the song or rhyme
The roses and then
The same old ****t
Year after year
Don't call me "dear"

Gifts and a meal
Won't make this dream of yours real
I won't play pretend
Can't this game just end?

Let me do what I please
Let me have a day of ease
Maybe sitting under the shade of trees
Enjoying the delicate breeze
Just let me seize
The day for myself
Instead of sitting quietly on a shelf

- Jay M
January 29th, 2021