China charges 1 million annually
For each panda in our zoos
If we won't pay in full
Then the pandas we will lose
Nasty Panda's the exception
No one wants him here or there
He was paid 1 million dollars
To abscond and disappear!

Here comes the Nasty Panda
     ~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
     ~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
     ~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
     ~He eats shoots and leaves

I smelled him 'fore I seen 'em
That black and white pariah
Slippin' slidin' in my kitchen
On smooshy mushy pulp papaya
I yelled for him to stop
And I told him where to go
Wink and laugh was all he did
With a Homer Simpson "D'oh!"

Here comes the Nasty Panda
     ~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
     ~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
     ~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
     ~He eats shoots and leaves

He hasn't bathed in ages
Masked by quarts of cheap cologne
His furry skin sweat-sticky
From the surface to the bone
Smelly cigar and ***** breath
Plus an air of upper-crust
Please keep your kids away
Cuz that nasty bear can cuss!

Here comes the Nasty Panda
     ~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
     ~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
     ~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
     ~He eats shoots and leaves

If you meet up with Nasty Panda
Better turn around and run
You're bound to lose your money
And your wits before he's done
Don't shed tears for Nasty Panda
Cuz he likes the way things are
Don't forget to hide your keys
Else he'll drive off in your car!

Here comes the Nasty Panda
     ~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
     ~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
     ~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
     ~He eats shoots and leaves

Here comes the Nasty Panda
     ~He's a scoundrel and a ***
He's such a nasty panda
     ~He's as nasty as they come
Beware of Nasty Panda
     ~He's gonna raise a stink
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
     ~He's much nastier than you think

The whiplash of your farts still linger in my room,
It smells like a ******* zoo.

You smile and laugh
As I coward away in a corner screaming at the top of my lungs because your farts ******* stink.

I ask you what did you have to eat,
and you reply "The boxed mac n cheese, with MILK!"

My heart stops and my eyes nearly plop out of my head
"Milk!?" I scream into my shirt, covering my nose
To stop the smell of death.

******* your farts stink.

Like a guilty dog looking
at a chewed discarded shoe.
You amused me,
I used you.

Did I have to tear you?
Did I really have a choice?
I knew I didn't care for you
or the bla bla of your voice.

Now I drink and start to think,
I must be more than this.
Breaking young and hopeful hearts
with just "I'll call you" and a kiss.

Sharon posts a photo of her new baby
on social-media and
Nasty-Jim comments
“That’s an ugly baby!”
Sharon feels shocked, insulted, appalled.
She hugs her baby protectively,
feeling hurt.

Sharon posts a photo of her new baby
on social-media and
Civil-Sheryl comments
“Congratulations on your beautiful baby!”
Sharon feels joyful and happy.
She hugs her baby warmly
kisses him on the head
and says “I love you little one”.

I don’t call you crumpet
I doubt you taste very good.
But you fit the name strumpet
Like I was sure you would.
A better name would be porcupine
The pork part fits you so much
But it would be so very awful;
You’re a thing I’d hate to touch.

I’d call your crew a clown car,
But, while you are surely on wheels.
You are more of a slow train wreck
Based on the looks and the feel.
Some fools call you Robin Hood
But I reject that whole twisted pitch.
Robin Hood did not rob the poor
Just so he could give to the rich.

You think you’re a smart cookie
But, you are nothing but a crumb.
You think we are all of us stupid
But only your supporters that are dumb.
You’re a ****** cake that has fallen
With a poisonous coat of frosting.
You are not worth a penny of what
A disaster like you are is costing.

You leave a nasty taste in the mouth
Of those who have to be near you.
There is nothing about you at all
That would serve to endear you.
It really would nice if you would go
Live for decades in a prison cell.
That color of orange, for once
Would suit you so very well.

I feel so *****
Each time I shut my eyes.
While my love makes love
I imagine someone else every time.

Someone to call me names.
Someone to play games.
Someone who talks *****
And finishes without aim.

I feel so trapped and alone.
Each time I touch myself,
I close my eyes
And I’m no longer stuck at home.

Because… you could look me in the eyes and tell me you loved me,
When I could still smell her on you.
You could lie, straight to my face..
Which torments a humans’ sanity.
You could hold me and feel absolutely nothing for me, and to me,
That’s completely spineless.
I did nothing to deserve the empty lies you filled me with.
A forever meant nothing more than a day to you, did it?