Habits
Gluttony
Greed
Bribery
Lustfulness

Passed down
Generation
After generation
After generation
After generation
Okay, I get it, it get it
You get it, you get it.

Let's get personal
Born set up for failure
My statistics not looking bright
First baby born of color born into
A family of strictly whites

Grandmother beat my mother
When she discovered
The life forming inside of her
Was half black -
Don't cry mother, or I'll whither
Inside of you.

I grew and grew
Taught lies upon lies
About myself
The other half of me.

The only love I knew was of my mother.
There was no other -
Until she started to take it out on me

Habits
Passed
From generation upon generation.

She was sick and tired of being
Sick and tired
Stomped to the ground due to her
Kindness
Abused emotionally due to her
Selfless-ness
Mistreated physically due to her
Weakness
She took it out on me.

Cornered me to a wall
Choked me up
Laughing - she couldn't get enough
Of the amusement of my pain
All done in vain
Because she couldn't stop the strain
Put on her brain.

Scarring my face
Pulling my hair
Public places
Not a care -

Kicking
Scratching
Pulling
Biting
The agony
The hate
The battle wounds
The hurt
The scars -
On my heart.

Habits
Passed from generation
To generation
To generation

I was sick on the inside
My heart - suffering -
never ending bleeding
My brain
Psychologically ill
Flashbacks
I locked myself up in my room
Head in pillow
Screaming louder than your annoying baby sister who throws her unnecessary temper tantrums

In the middle of the night.
I tied myself up mentally
Stuck
Self-hate
Self-abuse
Self-hurt

In the sixth grade I to myself -
I wanted going to ****
And my victim was myself.
Filled with the poison - I was ill
Injected with self-hate
Hated my family
Hated all my traits
Hated all forms of humanity.

Habits
Passed
From generation to generation
To generation.

Please excuse the gore
Of my poetry
For
It is inspired by the craziness
Of the chaotic mess that tore
My ligaments into ****** pieces

Family
Irony

All I've ever desired in life
is the simplicity
Of love - sick of strife
All I've ever cared for is creating
A love between family

I'm sick and tired of family
Filled with "**** yous"
I hate you
The irony

It is 2:13 AM.  I am up thinking, dreaming –
Yet still awake.
My dreams are my reality.
My imagination keeps me awake.
Brain is flooding with creativity,
Yearning to pour out –
A w a k e.

My dreams are my reality
Mind filled with blissful negativity – awake.
Dreaming of unorthodox fantasies.
Eyes wide open but mind floating in another realm – awake.

Blood flowing
Fingers throbbing
Pulse pumping
Heart skipping
A l i v e.

I fall, I fail but I still strive.
My mind aligned
With stars and planets – unconfined.
Letting go, trying to find
The mysteries of  
L i f e.

Are these mysteries meant to be discovered
Are they meant to be uncovered?
Everyone hovers
Till the day reality is
R e v e a l e d.

See, the world we live in
It’s a mere mirage created by oneself.
Lies created to hinder discovery.
Truth buried
Deep, deep down under
Not meant to be
U n c o v e r e d.

The beauty of life that it’s m a j e s t i c
Life blown into our bodies
Temporare - ily
Until the time for departure
A r r i v e s.

We attempt to leave legacies
To be looked upon in history
To be unforgettably
I n c r e d i b l e

To live forever

Forgetting o b l i v i o n is inevitable.

Never have I ever
Met a soul who is more perfectly aligned
With mine
A mind with never
Ending complexity.

Never would I have fathomed
Such a unique bond
Between two minds, intertwined
Wrapped around each other
Infinite times.
Unwanting to unravel
Two vines.

Two seeds planted  
Growing from different places find
Each never anticipated
To be brought together
Created
To experience the venture
That life orchestrated.

A mutual understanding
No words
Gazing
Into your herds
Of thoughts Running
From your eyes to my absurd
Mind – reading
Into the eyes of your soul.

The rarity
Of someone like you  
Drives my mind to insanity.
Wanting to jump off of the moon
Landing into your arms – inhumanity.

Imagining days spent with you
Makes me relapse.
You just being – you
Are my morphine – body collapses.
You seemed like fiction brewed
By the side effects
Of loving you
Neither of us suspected
This perfect chemistry created by you and I – I and you.

Never have I been so blissful
Could such a human being exist?
Perfectly crafted – abysmal.
Completely convinced
You are my acid
An extraterrestrial experience
Through the collision of our
Unordinary
Bizarre
Zany
Intellectual passion.

Creating a beautiful collision
Of two journeys becoming one.
When what seemed unreal – fiction
Meets reality.

Let us join palms and live merrily
In unison.