Today we kings and queens. We rock this town, bringin the truth, vibes, and spirit around...
Plant the seed of green we all should love, and bring heaven down from above...
We know the truth, yet so many still choose to belive. Bringing misjudgment to this victimless seed...
Being led by propaganda caused by petroleum monopoly. killing the world, being complete greedy...
****** madness. Complete ******* served at a time it was easy to belive, because our people were so nieve...
Sad to know what our leaders have done. But we Kings and Queens, and the war is won...
Now we need to make it so it can't be undone. Save mother earth, so our future wont judge us for what we've done...
-Big D

A solitary seagull sits bobbing on the waves
the waves culminate together and generate cascades
The seagull stays determined he will not be dragged down
yet one little misjudgment of a wave and this poor fellow will drown.

Life for me has been no crystal stair.
No steps of marble, granite or gold lay apt for my ascension.
No—I have climbed through thickets and thorns.
I have persevered—I have triumphed.
Yet it seems, despite these hardships,
life has always afforded me second chances.
The delicacy of my actions,
the sensitivity of negative repercussions
scarcely affected my younger self.

Opportunities always seemed to present themselves.
Though money and its evils have graced my experience,
my soul remains relatively innocent and refined.

Though I have, on past occasions,
become enveloped in the physical substance,
I quickly learned the long term suffering that these ideations efface
far out-shadows the temporary pleasure of the immediate.
I have overcome afflictions both physical and mental,
and lingered in the pleasure of remission.
Quickly to be reminded how easily diseases can emerge
when disregarded.

I’ve learned that of all things in life—
love, above all, deserves attention and sentiment.
Love, with all its purities and imperfections,
more often fruitlessly sought after than easily attained.
Love, above all other things, cannot be imitated, falsified or forged.
And though I spent some years deprived of this blessing,
I am none the more depraved for it.

I am lucky to say that I have loved.
My heart, delicately and handsomely entwined with another.
And that I am loved in return is a blessing beyond bounds.
Adoration and all its accompaniments are the greatest treasure in a lifetime.
For, what are treasures worth without anyone to share them with?
Any other accomplishments and joys are devalued without companionship.
And indeed, a faithful companion is most appreciated in times of hardship—
the throes, truncheon and tribulation of the everyday
faced alone can prove debilitating.

A great man once said “Life is a bowl of cherries.”
It took many years for me to understand the full meaning of this declaration.
But now I understand—
that each of us reachs into life,
like we reach into a bowl of cherries.
We know not whether what we receive
will be pitted and bitter
or sweet and juicy.
We will not know;
we cannot know,
not until we take a bite.
And if there is anything I have learned
it is to live and let live.
It is to reach into life, unbridled yet controlled,
with morals and constraint
and yet bereft of the fear of outcome:
the guilt of the past,
the impeccable omnipotent pressure of the present,
the trepidation of the future,
and the transience between the three.
The acceptance of this passage through time:
aging,
learning,
making mistakes,
making new mistakes,
loving:
this is how to live.
For, if we fear time,
which we cannot control,
we will always be afraid.
To live a life afraid is to embrace hardship.
Any semblance of hope or happiness
is abandoned with the acceptance and embrace of fear,
for fear, without use or cause
is the impetus of great misjudgment and injury.
We must, to avoid this,
relish in moments of happiness
and string them together
with the constant felicity and solace of companionship.

My pain is like a dripping faucet
abused and mistreated
My overall condition, worsening drip by drip by drip.
Filling up the sink of life and drowning slowly,
agonizingly.

Choices made with haste and without true understanding of the possible result of the bitterness and pain I was causing.
The loss of the only child you carried in your womb, protected and loved by you, tenderly and with intent.
Mistakes so numerous, an exact moment of loss not known.
Immature woman given young child to raise in this world
of temptation, sin and emotional turbulence.......

-SIN OF THE FLESH CHOSEN OVER A GODLY LIFE-

My beautiful boy with a heart full of hope and abundance
damaged with a change of plans in my travels, unfairly and unjust.
Causing his vehicle to careen down an empty highway of bitterness and isolation.
Fortifying walls around his heart full of abundance of trust and love
Now cold and distant from the mother that shielded him from pain with strain and exertion.

My voice beckons him from across the canyon
To PLEASE allow me to make things ok again between us.
But, alas, only the echo of my own voice is rocketing in the distance
Emptiness and hopelessness, I strain to hear anything at all, no emotion allowed to return to me.  Not even an angry voice.
Beating myself with a metal chain, ****** and in complete desperation, standing on piercing nails with ripped off limbs.....

-OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER-  
FOR EVER??  
NO MORE CHANCES.  
FORGOTTEN, WATCHING IN DESPAIR AS HIS LIFE GOES ON WITHOUT ME
SO EASILY, HE MAKES IT APPEAR.

Regret is like an ancient building ruining the value of its neighbors
decrepit and broken down,
Depraved, isolated and abandoned with recklessness.
So ugly on the outside, no one dares try to re-enter the condemnation of the door.
No one believes it can ever be restored to its original beauty and inspiration.

Hopeful and optimistic for a reunion of remembrance and forgiveness.
Determined with purpose, willing to risk looking shamed and unlovable.
No more self-respect because of hasty, decisions and instant gratification.
Still holding my breath.  Could this be the time I call and he finally comes around?
Grasping to clutch, once again, the blessed unconditional love and trust of my only son.

Negligent and selfish, unintentional life choices of a mother
Difficult to completely accept responsibility for injuries sustained by my misjudgment.
Finally, after years of scripture and study,
Understanding the agony and misery
God must have felt to watch Jesus' beaten and prodded,

GOD SACRIFICED HIS ONLY SON
............THE ONLY WAY TO SHIELD US FROM THE UNIMAGINABLE PAIN AND MISERY
OF AN  ETERNITY  IN HELL ALONE AND UNWANTED
FINALLY RENEWED WITH FORGIVENESS!!!
AFTER WE HAD SINNED AGAINST HIM SINCE THE GARDEN OF EDEN FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS.

Almost insane from the self-inflicted abuse,
Survival instincts start to make me want to give up and continue my bad choices to numb the memory of him.
Yet, still begging to have him love me again, even if it was for a single minute.
Dreaming of a loving hug from son to mother in earnest and heartfelt.  Willing to settle ANY emotion at all reciprocated.
Hoping he never makes a mistake that causes such irreparable intensity, empty and unwanted.

After 12 years of comforting and soothing and protection,
Everything lost, no more memory at all of mother needed...
No thought of how important he made me feel at one time.
Only father standing proud in picture next to child
                Lovingly smiling at him with adoration.

He respects him and loves him as much as he condemns and disregards me.
               He only speaks or thinks of me with disdain and total detachment
And.. Only when absolutely unavoidable and by force, it appears.
What kind of hell on earth is this?  
           My own tears drown my hope and regret now defines me with each effort of possible reconciliation that is tossed away like an unwanted thing.  

Drip, drip, drip.
My heart is ripped into a million pieces, by my own hand.  
Never to be needed again
If forgiveness will never be possible, tell me now.
                 Please have mercy, while I grieve the loss of my only son.  Yet he lives.

I think about family dinners and cards
How we played skipbo instead of poker
And you were ok with being there anyways
Even though it seemed pointless
And now I'm making new memories
But I don't want to lose ours
They're beautiful
They hurt
They remind me of what we were
Before I realized I didn't feel the same

When I left you said you'd miss my family
I didn't realize I'd miss yours so much too
Now your back in your hometown
One I'll never see again
And I'm always back in mine
But you won't be

I think about motorcycle classes
The ones I'll never take
Because all I remember is the DMV
You forgot papers
And I had to go to work
But we got to talk on the drive
That made it worth the seemingly wasted time

Our home that is now so empty
Finally made me feel safe
And though this apartment is basically the same
It's not my home
I don't have a home anymore

Even those days in the old houses
You gave so much light to my darkness
But eventually my demons won
My empty soul could not be filled
By even your genuine goodness
Because I didn't face my feelings then either

I think of the day I proposed to you
I had it all planned out
The food, the picnic, the drinks, the flowers
Our night at the hotel
We watched It's Complicated
Which is pretty ironic now

The lady at the front desk was so excited for us
Even though I couldn't check in alone
Apparently you have to be 21 for that
And we were so young
But we were happy in that moment

I haven't really talked about it yet
Because my feelings don't make much sense
Is this regret I feel?
Or am I just plagued by the pain of knowing just how badly I hurt you?
I am hurting too
And even in those moments
You're still the only one I want to talk to

2 years of memories
2 years of putting up with my problems
You deserve so much more
And I hope you find it one day
Because I couldn't give you what you gave to me
Your unconditional love and safety
I only broke you down
And left you wounded by my mistakes and misjudgment

Ignorance was bliss
And this reality is destroying my sanity
But I need to face these feelings
So this pain can stop killing me

once you take that first step down the path
the decision has been set upon and you cannot go back

now it is up to trust, that invisible demon or angel in waiting
right or wrong the pendulum will swing in either direction

time a curse or a blessing guided by a compass
beholden to no one it has its own destiny

for love once betrayed is a vengeful enemy
setting off a cornucopia of storms of anger

unleashing the torments only goddesses can bestow
their ire ****** forth like a thunderous lighting strike

wishing to smite those that have broken her heart
there is no hiding from the maelstrom your betrayal has unleashed

bringing embarrassment to those that inhabit castles
a dire misjudgment in a moment of voluptuous temptation

is there now regret to having succumbed to human wontedness
it would appear so, hands now tied striding towards the inevitable

step by step moving closer to the sentence handed down
the walled fortress now a corral with no escape

and then I am there, she and a legion of men in waiting
a gilded sword sharp as any in the kingdom prepared

her golden hair blowing in the wind, delicate features revealed
utter beauty astonishing in the backdrop of a scorching sun

how could I have traded this for a night of passion with another
now I am pushed down to kneel before her my heart racing wildly

she is judge and jury and as she draws back the sword
I wonder if there is one morsel of sympathy in her repertoire

so I close my eyes and ponder why has my lust brought me here
all the whilst listening for the whoosh that will end my days or not

Andreas Simic©

With a sunset stormed in all the evils
A creeping temptation to abomination
A swirling appeal to haphazardness

Then came a wild night when i let things go
An ordinary aberration from a chaotic junction
An occasional stray from a lost path
An intentional overlook of unscrupulous mischief
A through misjudgment under ruthless predicaments

With a sobering dawn i found myself
A delusional justification for foreseen consequences
An unconscientious injection of fleeting remedies
A deliberate neglect for recurring failures
A self-inflicted blindness to vindicate oneself from misery

Then it is a calm morning
Though i know that it is all in the history
I cannot avoid the reappearing of the serene night
Whose other side awaits the furious storm to shatter me down yet again

I just want people to notice that
I actually do care.
    I care about a lot of obstacles
 and a lot of people.

Maybe I'm trying to make up
for all the years of wronging and
misjudgment I put upon other
people.
               The same misjudgment
               and wronging
               that has been
               reflected
               upon me.

I can't say in words how I feel now. I'm just trying to figure out this guilt, this hurt I'm holding inside me. I didn't understand the meaning of the phrase "You realize what you had until it's gone" until the day I lost what I cared for...you. There's an emptiness inside me and I can't find a way to fill it. Everyone I start to care for, they all just fall into a void and I know I'm losing my way in this world.

The ropes that holds me are slowly breaking; letting me fall inch by inch, and there's no way for me to tell, what will happen to me when I fall into the darkness. You made my world so different from what it was before, your sole presence changed me so much, and now that I have felt the sweetness of your love I can't go back to the darkness of this world, the depravity and cruelty of everyone in here.

Regrets fills my thoughts, not letting me think of anything but you. Your words, your feelings, your smile and most of all your love. I still can't believe all the things that I did. All my actions filled with stupidity and misjudgment. Could you ever see past them?

I hope you will be able to forgive me, even if what I did cannot hope for forgiveness. I know that we will never be as we were before. I can only wish that we could be friends again, even only that would be glorious gift to me. It really kills me though, that you have left me here, completely forgetting my existence. I really do believe that's what hurts my soul the most.

Anytime I think of you, I hear your name or I see anything that involves you, there's a shudder that overcomes my body. A shiver I cannot control. Your memory has changed me so much and I can't but notice that I still love you. You own my heart and soul, I cannot deny that I can't let anyone in, even if I try with all my strength.

I wear a fake smile every single day, laughing or smiling when I feel I'm supposed to, but I can't keep this act together for much longer. It pains me that I have to pretend with everyone, with my friends especially. I can't keep talking about this but I wish upon the stars that you will remember what we had and forgive me. I want to hear your laugh again, and I want yo see your smile. I want you to come back, I need you to come back.

Abandonment
Resentment
Embarrassment
Harassment
Replacement
Punishment
Imprisonment
Detachment
Torment
Misjudgment  
Sentiment

I stand before the walls of a glorified failure as it tumbles beneath itself.
The nature of a grave danger, labored with a dire wager.
Plunges and crumple, into a pile of rubble
and to continue forth into a hidden tunnel.

Dirt stain fingers and my inner winner;
The only tools left to dig a way out of our rapidly crumbling puzzle.

You delivered me my unfathomable killer-
A ineradicable form of justice.
My sacramental, misjudgment of
a thrill gone astray.
Leaving me feeding the birds which prey on saints most days.

I stand before the wall as a simple thrall.
Dirt and grime painting my nails.  
I stand in my hellish pit readying to climb.
Ready to rise from the plague surrounding me.
To fill my lunges with air, not lingering with death.

I am ready.
The bringer on the rise.