It felt like everything I’d ever known was broken.
It felt like everything I’d ever thought or perceived had been spoken
But it was like no one could even hear me.
It was like I was told to be quiet but I was so outspoken
It was like all I had ever wanted was to be heard.
It felt like every single word that came out of my mouth was slurred
And no one could understand me.
It was like I had perfect vision but everything was blurred.

i look every which way
in the mirror
to find something I like
about myself
but all I see is
a mistake

My life is a twister of madness
an overwhelming bundle of 70 mile-per-hour winds that
twirl and spin until it has nothing left to do but crash
A tornado that is made up of bits and pieces of my shattered past
has broken down into something worse than debris--
Shards of glass defined the very person that I used to be
My emotions gather in a funnel cloud
Spinning constantly, topsy-turvy, round n' round
until it creates something that cannot be stopped
And without a sound, debris scatters through the streets,
up and down
houses topple and crumble and somehow--
I can't accept that it's all my fault
Instead I blend in with the destruction
and cower until the dust erupts and flies away
leaving me with no choice but to accept
that I was not the eye of the storm
but the storm itself

You told me
to look into your eyes
I saw nothing
but two flickering lights
slowly beginning to burn out

For almost a two year course
through autumn and through winter
My heart ached with a sadness
almost unshakeable
My heart was coated in bronze
then striped of its shine
Within seconds
it was a color
that was the worst of its kind
I have worn four letter words on my thighs
and my arms in the form of pink scars
that aren’t so hard to hide
My thoughts have been through battles
of unthinkable agony
but
that is no longer me.
Oh how beautiful is it that
another soul can wrap around
and shine against your own
How someone you may barely know
can turn your heart from a rusting silver
to a burning gold
by their words alone
What was once pain
has become love,
and this time
I’m lost in all
the right
ways