The epicenter of my heart is thousands of miles away
Perpetually perched in the curls of your hair
On your chest as you sleep
In your coat pocket when you are out and about

While it feels heavy for me
I doubt that you even realize that it is there
So you go about your day
Completely oblivious to the fact
That you could, at any time, crush me

Somehow,
You have
Excavated the tiniest crevices of my bones
Nestling into the cracks as comfortably as if you were born to sleep in them

Somehow,
You have
Crept into every quiet moment of my mind
Inhabiting my thoughts as naturally as if you were created to be in them

Somehow,
You have
Uncovered the center of my heart
Feeding my emotions as easily as if you were made to care for them

Dark brown eyes
So dark
They are almost black

I'd always yearned for a different color
A color like hers:
Clear Arctic blue
Reminiscent of the pristine glaciers that dot the place I lived in before I met her

She told me
That my eyes were special
And I asked her how that could be
When so many others have
The
Exact
Same
Color

She told me
That my eyes were the color of soil after a calming rain
Which is really just mud
But I loved it anyway

She could say the most terrible things to me
And I'd love them anyway
Because she said them

Which is funny,
Since she's never said
A single word
To hurt me

She knows that
I am broken
I am damaged goods
I am the unwanted crumbs at the bottom of the potato chip bag
Except that she would never say that to me

Instead she says
That I am perfect
And now
When I see Arctic blue
I don't think of cold

You will feel this way longer than you want to
Because who wants to feel this way?
It's hard to say how long it will take
For you to feel alive again

But you will, eventually
Don't you know that everything is temporary?
Love is ephemeral
But so is this pain

And one day,
I promise you,
You will be able to get out of bed
Without that heartache weighing down on you

I'm sorry
I wish I could be better
But I am so ******* selfish
And my art is more important to me than you are

So I will continue to use you for poetic inspiration
Squeezing
Every single drop of creativity
Every single word
Every single bit of happiness
Out of this
Until you leave
Or until I run out of words to write about you
And am forced to throw you out like a pen that's run out of ink
And find a new muse

They say

You can see your fate in the stars

But all of the celestial beings in the cosmos

Could not have predicted

How much I care about you