I didn't tell you when I told you goodnight how much I miss you and how much I want you in my arms right now, about how much I want to feel your heartbeat on my chest. I can't bring myself to tell you how much you really matter to me, and how hopelessly, eternally, and deeply in love with you I am. I can't tell you that I don't just want you, but I need you. You're my favorite drug, and I'm an addict past the point of rehab. I didn't tell you that knowing you're not just down the road makes me feel so small and I didn't tell you how much I feel like I don't matter to you. I want to tell you all of this, but I want to hear that I matter. I want to know that you miss me, that you want to kiss me, and I want to hear these calming words from your beautiful heart. You never leave my mind. You're a grand distraction. I can't even take tests or watch tv without thinking of you. Get out of my head and please get in my arms. I miss you so much. Those are the things I left unsaid. That I didn't text you. All of that was compiled into a small goodnight, but you have no way of knowing what I really mean to say.

Ballad of a Dream

I hear the rain on my window pane
And I see your love that's hiding all your pain
I'm not sure anymore
What it means to be alive
But I know in my heart
It means you by my side
Because you're my shooting star
And you shot right through my heart

I hear your laugh before all the strife
And I see your eyes, they bring me to life
I'm not sure anymore
Whether I'm in love or just a fool
Then again what's the difference
But I've been happier ever since

Why do birds not just fly away
It seemed so easy for you
Why do I even stay
In love, in pieces, over you
I have to wonder
Like nieve young boys do
Are you alone on that greener grass
Are you in love, in pieces, over me too

I smell your perfume in my head
And I see your smile when I'm in bed
I can't get over
What we had
And I know that you
You felt it too
We were young, and we were dumb
And ******, we were in love

Why do birds not just fly away
It seemed so easy for you
Why do I even stay
In love, in pieces, over you
I have to wonder
Like nieve young boys do
Are you alone on that greener grass
Are you in love, in pieces, over me too


I'll wake up in the middle of the night
And I'll fumble around for the light
I dream of her
It happens every night
Maybe one day
I'll figure out why
And who the girl is inside my head
And why she haunts my every dream
Maybe I'm lonely, and she's my raven
Begging me, guiding me, to sleep

Walking down the street
I see things I never thought I'd see
The sun shining
The birds chirping in the trees

Three years ago today
I felt alone and in the way
I saw no other option
I couldn't stand another day

Now, sun shining down
Illuminating arms attacked and drowned
I realize that my life isn't for naught
Even if too often I still don a frown

Those nights I laid
Alone and afraid
Scared not of death, but of life and what I may do
Thinking of the things to myself I had said

So do not fear
Do not think of ending it here
You're a book, and this is simply the thickening plot
There's so much more still left to hear

Do not look to me though
In your time of fear and woe
I'm no example to be modeled after and loved
I'm simply a story, not a savior aglow

I know you know what I'm talking about
Why else would you read this awful stout
You know all too well of the poisonous thoughts
And too well you know the nightly bout

Anonymous I write to you
Why now I'm only in my bed, probably like you
It's at night before I sleep, when these things plague my mind
But I'm sure I don't have to explain that to you