you say mental illness is a big deal until
i am sitting surrounded by trash in my car because its the only place i feel safe
until
i am crying when i wake up because i don't want to wake up
until
i am searching through pictures trying to find a scrap of light
until
i am sitting on the bathroom floor drinking the half empty beer i found in the recycling
until
i get attached to the drawings on my legs and cry when they go away
until
my plants all die because i cant water them
until
my pets die because i cant feed them
until
i starve myself on accident
until
my room has to be heavy or i cant breathe
until
i block everyone on my contacts list because i feel like they are watching me
until
i cant run anymore
until
i cant walk anymore
until
there is nothing left but you still want more

As he left for war,
with fear galore.
On the lonely streets,
She waited.

  As he grew weary of walk,
  weary of war,
  & cursed his fate,
  She waited.

     As he dreamt of her,
     each forlorn night,
     when cold birthed frostbite,
     She waited.

        When winter approached,
        & food scarce,
        By the dying embers,
        She waited.
  
          As spring drew near,
          The springs in her heart
          grew weak. On her death bed,
          She breathes her last.

              With his hand in hers,
               He waited.

What
Does one do
When
They love someone
They can never be with

To this day,
your name
still hurts my tongue
but I still say it anyway.
Sometimes I like to
hear my soul
gently tear itself
apart.

Sinking into the books.
The depths of literature.
Romance.
Fantasy.
Nonfiction.
I lose myself in it all.
I am safe.
Books are my armour.
They're full of words.
And words are the one thing you can't take from me.

While you lay dying
In your bed
At home
Christmas lights
Across the street
Blinked off and
On
At each gasping breath
You took
The last of the
Blinking lights dimmed
As  you drew
Your last breath
The last light now gone
From outside
As the light from
Inside
Died