cig by cig
              i am
                     taking
                             my life away

           one cig at a time
one pulse at a time

so long souvenirs
useless memories
/ red /scars and bruises

She was the most amazing girl
We understood eachother
But I never got to hold her hand
I never got to kiss her forehead
I never got to tell her I love her
She's dead now, I killed her
I don't know how, or why
It's always my fault though
And so she's gone
DEADDEADDEAD
She used to be the only thing
That made me smile
Until I got that text
And then, I never heard from her
Where did she go?
Is she in the Heavens?
With a god I don't believe in
Looking down at someone else
And not knowing how guilty
I am for killing her

I tasted ***** for the first time
Hidden in the back of the freezer
At first, it was sour
But the more I drank
The better it tasted
And my problems seemed to melt
I liked that feeling
So I drank more and more
Until things blurred together
And my problems were
Forgotten

If you only knew
How often you cross my mind
And why I reply so quickly
To your text messages
If you only knew
That you're the reason I cry
At 2:00 am when no one is watching
And how I write so many poems about you

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S GONNA **** ME
I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE
MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I WANT
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT
SO STOP PRETENDING TO KNOW WHO I AM
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM