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My name is going to vanish into nothingness one day.
"Johnnie Woods" who wrote a few poems, a cluster of atoms that developed illusionary consciousness. And now this consciousness starts to deny itself. I'm writing this text, I'm thinking 'bout what I'm going to write, I'm thinking about me thinking about me going to write it. And I'm writing it all.
My poems are pointless and my words and thougts are abstract.
All poems are pointless. This website is pointless. Cries and sadness and emotions are pointless. Everything is pointless.
Don't go this way if you wan't to retain your sanity. Atoms. Atoms.

An entrophic mind, like a sphere,
with random spikes here and there.

A tension is reduced,
Mind is brought back to its chaotic
yet peaceful nature.
There's no more heavy steel
Frenzied blind train
Heading towards one direction.
Now, there's a sphere,
and we can appreciate everything
surrounding us. We're awakened,
Rebooted and reseted,
Back to our roots.
We can swim, touch and smell!
It's a truly healing experience.

To be strong is to be weak,
for as we bathe in the sea
of endless posibilities,
we should swim like fishes,
not hold on to the ground, limiting
ourselves to one perspective and
one "mental place" like an anemone.

We always seem to value the past much more than present.
We like to bring up the memories and think about the "good old times" wishing to re-experience them.
What if we're going to "think" the same in some afterlife? Wish to see, smell or hear again? Wish to do such simple tasks as taking a walk, admiring the sun and being delighted by rain or soft summer wind touching the skin?

Show me your dog, and I will tell you:
-your psychological flaws
-things you failed to accomplish
-things that you lack
-your character

Dog is a mirror of its owner.

Life is so fragile. So short, yet so long.
It is astonishing how we can percieve time.

  Think about it from one perspective. You've lived 'x' years. What happened during that time was EVERYTHING for you. Thousands memories, billions of stimuli bombarding the brain.
   Just go take a walk around the city, sit on a bench, close your eyes. Feel uncountable fotons touching neurons on your face. Hear multiple sounds surrounding you; each one of them is a vibration of air caused by a vibration of some thing. Billions of atoms vibrating, in such a 'brief' moment as second. A soup of particles and energy. And that's just one sound amongst others. People chatting in a cafe near you. Their brains starting a cascade reaction: electricity through neurons, making their vocal cords resonate, vocal cords making air vibrate, your ear recieving the stimulus(eardrum, hammer-anvil-stirrup, nerves, brain).
   Think about all the things happening on the entire Earth, just in that particular moment when you're sitting on this bench with your eyes closed, engulfed in the mini-universe of your mind. Then think about all the events in the Universe, happening just in that particular second. All these atoms in motion, a sea of atoms, an ocean. This is "just" a second. And how many of them have passed, since, let's say, 2 months ago? 2 years ago? Decades? Millenias? Millions of years? Billions of years?
    Another perspective - everything you've experienced in your life - that's just few decades(or less). Millions of people were born, millions of them have died. Millions of conciousnesses like yours, millions of such complex things as described earlier. In macro perspective, 70 years of human life is nothing. People get born, grow up, finish school, marry, become grandparents and then die. Time speeds up like a cargo train going downhill.


   It is insane though, that when you think about it, entire YOU, your conciousness, your mind, EVERYTHING about you existed just for these few years. Before - void, nothingness. Now - everything. It's not like 100 is 10x10. It's more like difference between 0 and 1. Existence/non-existence.
   It is insane though, that we can percieve things. How is colour a colour? How is sound a sound? How is touch a touch? A thought a thought? If brought down to smallest pieces, it's about transfer of energy through atoms, neurons etc., in bigger scale it's about activity of neurons, neurotransmitters, encoded memories. But again, HOW IS COLOUR A COLOUR? How do we have the conciousness?

Egoism is root of everything
everything in the universe
every behaviour

People try to deny that
but it's a lie
in the end, their action
is also the result of egoism;
however, neatly hidden

Darkness is easy to craft,
However, what's also easy
is to get stuck
with your creation

All life on Earth
is translated Sun's energy.
We're the children of the Sun.

You give my poem a heart.
>I look at your profile
>open "favorites"
>30 K favorited poems
>several dozen poems favorited in less than hour(some of poems quite long)

Are you ******* serious?
I sense so much fakeness.

Writing a poem.

There are lots of things that contribute to the outcome, the poem.
-Certain words hold a hard to describe sensation to them, they're made to evoke some feelings and also give a sense of unique kind of rhythm. Had the writer used a synonym, it wouldn't have the same impact on the reader. He's like mysterious chemist adding proper ingredients to his mixture to make it work perfectly.
-The way a writer constructs the poem leads to rhythm as well, how he decides to start a new verse that divides a sentence, the way he locates words - or even blank spaces - on the surface of sheet - the field of his performance - it all contributes to the creation of imagery. Therefore, we can see that creating a poem isn't just writing words. It's how you put them together, too. A poem that's being created, sometimes slightly wanders away from the realm of plain writing - and goes beyond.

There lies a secret, unseen, unfolded and powerful
paralell dimension, burrowed in our brain.
An entirely different path of thinking,
which can be explored by applying cerain measures.
Different paths, infinity, infinity. Gates.

A release of tension, allowing thoughts
to wander freely in all the realms,
like straying dogs and night cats,
and all the animals.

I find science to be a really important source
of inspiration for an artist,
because I consider the Universe
and the energy to be a core and a bedrock of everything.

An actor. A vessel for Universe's energy.
(wasn't forming a conciousness a mistake?)
Is pain real? Can reality be hacked and
controlled, since some rules and
mechanisms are sometimes unfolded?

Weird? Do you mean not casual, touching the subjects of taboo or making you feel uncomfortable?
If you said the otherwise, you would be slightly condemned.

There are five widely known senses.
Sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste.
We've got some minor ones as well, such as balance, temperature and many more.
However, people fail to realise that there's also the sixth major sense. Thoughts themselves.

   If we look closely, all these five senses have the same base. Specified cells in eye react to energy of light, cells of ear recieve energy in form of air's vibrations, skin cells pick up energy of mechanical changes, and so tasting and hearing depend on translation of certain substances' chemical energy.
   These cells in different organs differ in their structure and the way they appear, however, if we stop looking at them in such small scale, we can see that ALL of the cells or organs responsible for any sense translate the energy.
   So, a light enters the eye, certain wavelenght of certain energy stimulates the eye's rod or cone cells with a certain intensity. Then the energy of light is translated to energy of electrical impulse, which goes straight to the brain, creating the sensation of sight.
   If it comes to smell, a certain particle enters the nose, binds to a smell receptor cell, and the chemical energy of this particle is, again, translated to energy of electrical impulse, which goes straight to the brain, creating the sensation of smell.

   Now, let's move to the crucial part. The sense of thoughts.
   During the creation of thought, pathways in our brain that collect memories(and many more known or unknown pathways) connect. First, there's this spark of electricity, that moves all along the neuron and releases a dose of neurotransmitters(amount of different NTs is equiavlent to strength of this spark, basically resulting in "creating" various thoughts).
Then, chemical energy of NEUROTRANSMITTER is translated to energy of electrical impulse, which happens in the brain, creating the sensation of thought.
   Therefore the 'sense of thoughts' reacts to and is stimulated by neurotransmitters themselves, with receptors on neurons' membrane being receptors of the stimulus. So, kind of like smell, the stimulus is chemical, compared to sight, where it's electromagnetic wave; anyways the result in all of these is electric impulse in neurons (hence the idea of "thoughts" as a sense, due to the same basic layout; transfer of energy).
   The 'smell particle' connects to receptor and is translated to a certain amount of neurotransmitters/certain strenght of neuronal impulse. SO, again, we can see that when the first outer layer of this communication is cut off, we're left only with the neurotransmitters and impulses themselves. Anyway, the transduction of energy remains.

   If it comes to "sense of thoughts" the receptor lies within us, whereas in sight or smell or touch it's external. However, does it matter if it's on the surface of skin or under it if it all comes down to neurons of our brain?
   When you lie in a dark, silent room, without any external stimuli, you still retain your thoughts, colorful, vivid or complex. All the magic of the brain - still happens. So, how isn't it a separate, full-fledged sense?

Art is an amazing, insane thing.
It's a form of translation/transition.
Take a painter(or any artist for that matter).
He looks at a thing,
then he recovers the data that
it created in his brain,
and via the transfer of energy
(neuron impulses to muscle action
while painting) he creates a painting,
an echo of the thing he saw,
an echo of an exact moment in time
and certain arrangement of atoms.
Then we look at it, and new data
is born inside our heads, an energy recreated.
Kind of like time travelling machine.
What a flow.  


Let's go even deeper now.
Imagine a writer.
He creates a story in his head,
and writes a book using letters,
that build words.
Words are an artificial creation
of men, that trigger a certain
images in our heads.
I see it kind of like
Pavlov's dog situation-
-think of a parent showing an apple
to a child, and teaching him that
this is an "apple". Kid looks at it,
repeats the word, and connects
the image, smell, facture to this
mashup of letters - "apple".
Later, when there's no apple,
but the word is present,
this child imagines an apple in his head.
Everything that's written and read
behaves like that. Words are a glimpse
of real things, encoded in our brains.

Gandalf wasn't scared of any foe he and his team encountered,
except one - the Balrog.
Down, deep below the mountains, in dark caverns of Moria
he had to face his evil twin, his adversary.
Down, deep below, in darkness, he had to overcome his shadow.
This one time, the wise great sage felt true fear,
and had to fight the Balrog alone.

We live in developed caves. That's what modern habitations are.

Hadn't you experienced everything,
How can you truly understand these things?

Being naked is like proposing to or dating hundreds of potential partners.
Hence the fear - the deeply rooted fear of rejection that's bound with the worst threat of not finding the other half & prolonging your genes.
Disgusted and derisionful, savage eyes of the crowd judge a vulnerable naked one. They act as an equivalent, less profound though, of powerful,  full-blown rejection from other person.

Aborigens looked at the nightsky
and recognised the patterns of darkness
formed by cosmic dust - not constellations.
They saw a gigantic black emu
cutting through the canvas full of stars.
So what is it about our affinity to light,
and tendency to measure things
with light as a reference point?

" Why the light?
     Why not the dark?
     Let's move towards the dark"

Why draw the world with light
Not with shadow?

A new World to see, to bathe
to roam, get lost, dance?

It is weird, because we, from the one side don't want our situation to be common. Our situation not being common makes us feel special, we become martyts, and it proposes a ruthless version of world, that's an enemy too powerful for us to fight against, and us - "the ones that fought, that tried, but couldn't win because of fatum". It takes away the responsibility.
On the other hand, we like to know that there are other souls out there, that form an unique group with us - sharing our rare pain.

Terence McKenna claimed
both psychedelics and travels
to be very affective and similiar
tools that help expand the mind.
Connecting these claims
with the observations of Aldous Huxley,
who proposed the mind and the
physical Earth(terrains, continents, landscapes)
to be conjoined with a shockingly strong bond
We can see Terence's idea
making Huxley's words fuller, more clear,
and more credible.

You can see, one's mind is in a great part shaped by
his everyday environment & actions. Repetitions lead
to the creation of bonds. Revisiting these paths
without a doubt creates a map of some kind.

Consciousness, a cruel joke,
an error, maybe.
Reality isn't real.
It's thought otherwise,
because we got used to it.
As the science tells us more,
we can dig deeper
to find - lack of sense?
I find that accepting a god
Is a HUGE shortcut
in the algorithm.

Metaphors?
Think about a bitter medicine
given to a kid in a form of sweet syrup.

Look at all the people, their "characters", and put the contrast up.
Reduce their personalities to the most
preeminent traits.
Then continue, fly above the city, above the Earth.
Put up the contrast of citizens, nations, humanity.

Now, go back to the start, and dig into one's head.
Admire the colours in the vast black space of one's mind.
Understand this dual nature; how complex and yet
so simple we can be; how simple and yet complex we are.

When I'm observing people,
or their drunken conversations,
overgrown egos and unconciousness
one thing
comes up to my mind - WAKE UP!

Universe is a constant repetition of womb-like creations.
To start off, the womb itself allows a growth of a baby - a sustenance of life. It protects the vulnerable embryo.
    Human body, when grown, does not differ that much from ******. The skin separates the inner organism and life that wouldn't survive without an isolation from the environment.
    Earth is a womb as well. A speck flying in cold, lifeless space, with a barrier in form of atmosphere - humid, full of water and warmth, allowing life to grow.
   Cells are wombs, with their cell walls or membranes and life that happens within them.
   Maybe the Universe itself sticks to that scheme as well, being one of many life containing bubbles floating in some unknown dead void?

For me, the biggest mystery of life is that dead atoms could form something that has consciousness.

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We're here
We have something like
Sixty years
To know each other
                      and to spend time together
To share laughter
To hug and cuddle
To smile
To cry
To grow up together
To learn
To recieve sun rays on our skin
                                and to drink wine
To stroll the cobblestone
To smell, see, touch, hear,
             feel
To walk
To breathe
To ride a bike
To feel tired, hungry, cheerful
To talk
To observe leaves on some
windy autumn day
To connect
And then one day
one of us will leave this place
Empty shell of body
Like robot machine
who ran out of power,
   and shut off.
Blank, grey & hollow
Once filled with soul
That cheered and laughed and loved
Now we won't meet
for eternity
I will never get you back, ever.
And then the other one
will die
And then the Earth will die
and all of these atoms
once filled with all these stories,
life, love, sense, hopes, thoughts,
will stray the cold, empty,
silent endless void
For eternity
And to think that we were there together
in this place & time
That we laughed, together,
kissed
Cried and missed
Held hands
Walked & planned
Ate food and drank
Looked into each other's eyes


We won't see each other for eternity.

The trees are amazing creations,
They've taken a dead matter, and formed
It into a shape of branches, twigs
And leaves, which like thoughts absorb the light,
grow, and produce the food,
fueled by the Energy,
the wonderful offspring of the Earth.