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 Mar 2019 Yacharya
ophelia
On nights like these,

I question, the way I am,
I question, the way these are,
I question, the people around me.

On nights like these,

I feel, the pain of the past
I feel, the bitterness of the present
I feel, the scared uncertainty of the future.

On nights like these,

I see, the trauma I was put through,
I see, the distance I put between loved ones
I see, the way people "love" me.

On nights, like these.
I wrote of this poem right now. It was my raw and first thought during one of my really bad episodes. Unedited and raw. I did not think while writing, I just did what i felt. The way writing should be.
I lie to friends
And family.
I say that I’m okay.
I lie to myself
Saying that I don’t need help.
I lie to you
Saying that I don’t want you as something more.
I lie a lot. They're little white lies that hurt no one but myself, but they're lies all the same.
 Mar 2019 Yacharya
a
marks
 Mar 2019 Yacharya
a
the marks on my skin
scars, you say?

no

these are not scars
not battle scars to me

for me, they tell me a story,
one that gets told time and time again
because each time the story slips
it must be rewritten
retold
reborn

In some states of mind, these could be battle scars
but that is another's perception

every mark to the skin
every broken piece
every cell split open
wow, I've been gone for a little bit. Kind of had an epiphany and started to write. Hopefully, I am back in the groove of writing for a little longer. My mind has been so cramped and full, and hopefully, my writing more will help me.

— The End —