Look at me before you go.
Don't cower from my tears
That reach past my face
Where my skin is still left
With a pale imprint of your palm and thumb
That once drove my mind towards resolve.
Look into my drained eyes
That once held candlelight,
And tell me you have a made up mind
Because it's better to be left
Than to be dragged along,
Hoping instead of staying strong,
Bleeding out only to see color.
However, now color is left to illusion
Instead of life.
For a smile no longer can be spent
With only your gaze to light it
Trying to force color back into the world you devastated—
No more.
There would come out of it only torment
Instead of abundance of color
Ready to be let go,
But now I'm ready to be let go.
Sitting beside the snow around my heart
That remains in the cold
For how I used to love the cold
And the rain.
Now I'm afraid to go out again
And sit beneath it
Seeing your reflection in every drop
From a recollection of a time kissing,
Now left petrified
Missing as you tread the petal-enveloped path
Of so many daisies I plucked recalling you—
"To love me or to not."
I wish you didn't hug me before you left
Because there remains
A pale imprint of a distant thought
Waiting to be recalled
That you will so easily and simply
Ignore and forget.
Through the fog pushing from your chest and neck
Out between your lips
Watching the crystallized vapor of breath—
For out of your obliviousness
You will forget.
But my life will bend at the will of each breath passing
Catching each memento you choose to forget as they fall
Holding tight to things familiar
As my mind drives towards a different kind of resolve
Than the one that you stuck inside my head so long ago.
And as I fall I know
You will only catch me after
The news sets in
And falling to the floor
Begging for a reason, or a note
Wondering where my reality went
For only a moment longer,
But eventually like our memories—
Like everything that you dread—
You will choose to ignore
And soon thereafter
Choose to
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