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All my life I have been living on my own
Living well and yes having a few problems

I have always lived, knowing who God was
But never making him part of my life

As I have grown older
I have finally decided to start hanging out with him
He guides in a way that I have never expected

It is so cool, he is nothing like people portray him to be
He actually a really cool dude and we talk often

He differently knows how to have a good time
Some people want to meet my new friend, some don't

He tell's me Dave no big deal, I still got their back
He is such a good and loving man and ask nothing from me
Except to show real love and to help others

He has guided me in a way that you cannot believe
I still do a lot of the not so good things that I do
and he always forgives me

He is now my best friend and he has surrounded me with so many good people and has opened up many doors for me

Doors to success, wealth and gave me meaning
Sometimes I don't like people.
Sometimes I just don't want to talk.
Sometimes I just want to observe.
Sometimes I like my little bubble.
Sometimes the loneliness makes me feel like I'm about to burst.
Sometimes (ok... MOST times) I don't like people within arm's length of me.
Sometimes I be like "**** Love".
Sometimes I wanna Love so hard like I don't give a ****.
Sometimes (Ok. Ok. MOST times!) I'm not "appropriate".
(Most times, I don't care to be.)
Sometimes I don't feel like being funny.
Sometimes I don't want to entertain.
Sometimes I disappear.
Sometimes I don't want to be invisible.
Sometimes I feel like an outsider.
Sometimes I feel like I'm on the edge.
Sometimes I want to jump.
Most times, I would rather fly.
Living with depression
is like watching people around you
breathing but instead.

Your blue lips inhale
words of self-hatred
and you know you should
be able to fill
you lungs
with fresh oxygen
like everyone else.

but you can't.

And the worst part is
people mistake your chest
frantically rising up and down
as breathing
when really you're
suffocating.
Try and try to
read between the lines
only to find
emptiness.
 Apr 2015 xXwallflower53Xx
ryn
I can't write...
     I have a stash of twenty drafts, bearing a couple of lines each
I can't crack...
     Every draft seem to have developed a shell I can't breach
I can't gather...
     My thoughts so I could nurture these drafts to fruition
I can't think...
     The clatter in my head meant only to deafen
I can't fathom...
     What went right from what had gone completely awry
I can't find...
     Much needed sanity to let soar and fly
I can't cry...
     The tears I've beckoned for so very badly
I can't scream...
     Only muffled gurgles of notions drowned at sea
I can't see...
     The bigger picture...that consumed us both
I can't hear...
     Except for the dreaded voice of reason that I loathe
I can't piece...
     Together one decent little write

I can't breathe...
     I can't breathe...*I'm losing this fight
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