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The person I've become
is so unlikely
I found love
but at the wrong time
unfortunately.

I'm afraid to admit that I am falling
afraid to tell you
afraid to realize
I feel your answer and I don't wanna break.

You're the key to my heart
a perfect fit.
I just don't want you to see
maybe you'd just close it,
or leave me bare open.

realizing there's no point
i vanished from your sight
but I so badly want
to drown in your love.

I'm scared to tell you the truth.
The feeling of regret haunts me.
It devours me
till all I'm seeing is nothingness.

The person I've become
is so unlikely,
always thinking this wont work
You'll never belong to me.
3rd :)
 Jul 2014 sanctuary
Haruka
I had a dream that you died last night.
I've told myself I was over you,
but I woke up crying.
You would always look at me so sadly
when I told you that I almost killed myself 8 times
and I never understood
why it shook you so much.

I always find myself
tracing my fingers over your spot on the bed,
hoping to feel your warmth once again.
You were a supernova,
and you always believed that burning out was
better than fading away.

We were no exception.

I dial your number sometimes,
hoping to hear your soft baritone voice
replace the harsh automated one.
"The number you have dialed is out of service."

I miss you,
and though the feeling is not mutual,
I still continue to write about it.
I love you,
and though the feeling is not mutual,
I still continue to be shaken by it.

I had a dream you died last night.
I told myself I was over you,
but I jumped after you in the dark.
"I love you."
*This is my way of burning out.
 Jul 2014 sanctuary
rufus
today
 Jul 2014 sanctuary
rufus
i saw your words today
im sorry i almost cried
i dont want to remember you this way
believe me, i cant stop

i saw your words today
how are you darling?
im sorry, but there is no way
that i could get to you

you remember our last day?
when i kissed your face and said
i'll miss you forever
and i waited
and waited
and waited
and waited for a response

finally i heard you say
*i want you in my life,
but i just cant keep you anymore
not a day goes by that i dont miss you. i dont miss you. i dont want to.

— The End —