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  Jan 2015 sanctuary
Winter Frost
I'm breaking
And I crumble
I'm falling
And I fumble
I'm grieving
With this sorrow
I'm losing
These memories we made
I'm hoping
Even if nobody hears
I'm crying
But no one sees my tears
I'm screaming
But no one hears me
I'm begging
Without a sign of forgiveness
I'm breaking
I need someone to understand
I'm fading
Some one please help me

But don't worry,
**I'm fine.....
I wrote this poem because this is what I really feel this past few days
sanctuary Jan 2015
I like balloons
And I hope one day I ride a hot air balloon

Why?

Because when I see them
They remind me of people;
How they keep everything inside them for so long and when they can't take it anymore, they pop.
How they bring joy.
How they don't know they do.
How with the right air, they can fly up the sky and be free.
Yes they may pop or deflate but if you see them as people, they won't if they don't want to.
I like balloons because I want to fly;
Give joy
I want to escape the hurt, the pain, the exhaustion.
I want to be free
I also see me but as deflated
  Jan 2015 sanctuary
Holly
Does the late  night chats?
You telling me you love me?
The kisses?
The jacket?
Me loving you?
My best friend being mad at me because of you?
Me getting a headache from the smoke smell on your jacket,
But its worth it right??
Does this all mean something?
-Hopefully.
sanctuary Jan 2015
To my dearest princess,

             I carried you for nine months bearing all the nausea, mood swings and the pain. And I was there to hear your first cry, a sign that you were alive. I was there when you needed me to sleep, drink and go places. I was there when you were crawling then walking and later on, running. I saw your most embarassing moments, your cutest reaction, your passion, your talents and your dreams. I was there when you felt sad and cried all day and remember how you kept looking for me? I was the one you shared your secrets to. I was there when you went to school and got friends. Then you got older and you started cutting me off and saying that I was lame and nagging. But you forgot that I gave you the things you needed when you were little- all those sleepless nights just to keep you still. I was there when you wanted me there. And I am not going to force you to do the same but I am hoping for your consideration. I was there for your first heart break. It was from a boy you never told me about and now I found out that you gave your everything. Now let me remind you, darling that people make mistakes and what we do after is what matters. You don't need *** to prove that there is love. A proof of love is how much time you spend together and not thinking of it too much because you know you'll wait until you two are wed and are truly each other's. Romance is not just a public post on a social media account about how much he loves you. It's not just about the good morning texts. It's about the days you are at your worst and he sees you as if you're still the angel you are. It's when you are on your baggy shirt and he sees how beautiful you are. It's about the planned, nervous, awkward but fun dates. It's him picking you up at our doorstep and telling me that he'll tale care of you. It's about long hand written love letters, poems and arguements worth fighting about. And if you lost someone, they aren't always meant to stay. It's okay to cry because it's a sign your alive, it's what you did the minute you came to this world. You don't need to harm yourself, I'm here and I think you are golden. You are one of life's precious gifts. Please don't hurt yourself, you don't need other people to prove your worth, you have me. Now I know I may say things that offend you but that's my way of teaching you. I love you, sweetheart and don't think that I don't.  You are capable of living and surving. You were destined to shine as bright as the sun, my princess. Maybe even brighter.

with love,
Mom
I don't know. Thos generation is fudged up and I wan't to bring back the old school days. And I don't know. Too long I guess
sanctuary Jan 2015
-
It bothers me
How you two are so close
how you keep a picture with another ******* your wallet and never the one I gave you
How everything is okay if its her and never with me
How you have to hide our agendas
The way you lie about me
The way you act

And everything else...

But who am I to tell you the things you should do
I may call you mine
But not really mine, mine

I know this feeling is a part of being scared to lose you
But I lost you once
And I don't want that again
If this is called jealous
**then I am
There will be days that I need your reassurance because I can't keep on giving you mine if I'm not sure about yours.
All you have to be is fair.
sanctuary Jan 2015
sadly, since you came back
words are hard to say
thoughts were hard to form
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