He who breathes the air
was once my ray of sunshine.
He who breathes the air
was once who tingled my heart.

He who breathes the air
is such a coward.
He who breathes the air
was never been mine.

And I'm glad he wasn't.

He who breathes the air
boils my blood.
He who breathes the air
is the reason of me being red.

He who breathes the air
is the one I truly despise.
He who breathes the air
shouldn't also breathe mine.

They call it normal.
And so I did.
It was a mature thing
And being young and naive.
I decided to do it myself.

It was extraordinary.
A glimpse of what will come,
when that time comes.
It was amazing.
Yet absolutely terrifying.

I was taught that
our body is special.
And needs personal care.
Not that soap and water care.
That mind and heart care.

It is created
Our body is created
For a purpose.
And that purpose
Isn't what I am doing
Right now.

I was torn
From belief and human nature
From what I was told as right
And what I know is wrong,
(Yet feels so right.)

And so here I am
Blaming almost every single piece
That is my being.

When will I stop?
When will I resist?
This ****** thing called

Temptation.

When you thought
she was just like you.
From the hair
down to the attitude
and to the soul.

When you thought
she was your friend
Who can laugh
and who can understand
all silly conversations.

When you thought
she was like a sister.
With the same fathers' hometown
But with different blood.

When you thought
She was your only hope
Only happy light
In the darkest of times.

When you thought
you were right.
But turns out
you were wrong.

She was never
A sister.
Not what you expected
her to be.

She was instead
A ticking bomb.
A time bomb
Of impossiblities you've never thought
she would be.

A smart mouth
Of obscenities
and forced language.

But in the end
She's still the friend.
Who you get to be with
Until the end.

Can you feel it?
that crumbling sound
coming out from your stomach

Can you smell it?
that sick and foul smell
like a dead rat on it's wake

Can you taste it?
that metallic tang
covering the whole of your mouth

Do you know it?

Can you know it?

Did you do it?

How could you do it?

Why did you let yourself do it?

It wasn't that hard doing it
But it sure as hell
painful as hell
enduring it.

Can you now see it?
How treacherous
your inner demons are?

Or is it just something
something between
you and me.

Do you know what it is?

Deception.

My fingertips reach toward
  the unknown abyss
  that is your heart.

It claws its way up
  yet all it touches
  is nothing.

Like your love.

I didn't quit though
   I didn't cry.
   I cling to the Only Hope.

And I know that there will be the right time.

I don't know when,
  I don't even know how.

But here I am waiting.
  Waiting at the mouth
   of the dark abyss
   that is your heart.

I cry in pity in front of this stupid funny thing.
It is both an embarrassment and a tad bit annoying.