A year ago today I woke up.
And for the first time in years
The sun rose,
Its rays blinding me,
Not with helplessness
But with hope.
I stretched and the sadness slipped away
As the anxiety evaporated in the morning heat.

A year ago today I saw the world for the first time
All its bright lights and smiling faces.
I saw how wonderful it was to be alive.
I stood in the centre of the world
Consuming the beauty,
Breathing in the wonder.
To think I could've stayed asleep
And been oblivious to this place.

A year ago today I breathed a sigh of relief.
It had gone.
There was no longer a black hole within my heart,
Destroying my happiness.

Oh my god it is wonderful to be alive.

A year ago today I woke up.
And I smiled.
It was over at last.

Why must i be afraid?

Why can’t I hold her hand?

Or kiss her in public?

Why must I hide amongst the shadows,

with a love that’s more like poison
than an elixir of life?

why must her touch leave bullet holes in my flesh?

and why must wanting her feel like a sin?

maybe one day I’ll find a love 
that doesn’t leave bruises on my heart

that isn’t condemned

and that blossoms like a rose
without demanding blood with its thorns.

I do not understand why hurricanes are named after people
for i am not a storm.

I am a flood.
I am the ocean, 

calm, 

still;

until someone casts waves in the water. 

until someone pushes and pushes until i over flow,

and in that moment i can not be contained.

i can’t not be reasoned with or hidden from.

i will show no mercy,

but eventually i will recede.

when the tiredness seeps into my bones
and my emotions are no longer flooding through a battered city,

I will recede to my home

and be still once again.
And I will glisten under the sun,
and bless the shore with my gentle touch,
and you will never think I’ve ever shown the world my rage

She was a writer.
The words on the page mirroring her innermost thoughts.

She was a thinker.
A whole universe of beautiful thoughts running through her head.

She was a fighter.
When all odds seemed against her she pulled through.

She was a lover.
She loved so purely and greatly even though sometimes it wasn't returned.

She was a carer.
She looked after those who were stuck in the dark and she helped mend their broken pieces.

She was a dreamer.
And she is my friend

inside
there is a deep sadness.
you let it in when you ripped
my heart open.
it swarmed to the
open wound.
don't worry,
my heart is fixed now.
she glued it back together
with her love.
do you realise that she spends
her whole life
tidying up after you?
the thing is:
when she closed my heart
she forgot to remove
the sadness from inside.
so now it's trapped.
and it's trying to escape.
my heart is bursting at the seems
as it fights against the muscular walls.
it's going to break free
any moment now.
and the tears will pour.
make sure you don't have a broken heart
or it will come to you next.

I'm sure we had names.
                              What was my name?


I'm sure we had homes.
                  But for us where was home?


The memories we had once hidden in our minds.
                   They've faded now in a slow torturous good bye


You'd think someone would remember
                    But we're hidden on a shelf



Our eyes are blank and souls are torn
           All hope once cherished has died



We're the kids that time forgot
            And no one even said goodbye