British radio has it's charms
like a bracelet on you wrist
so gentle and delicate

She called us granddaughters

Not by blood, but by love

Praying for answers
Begging for silence
We thought
Heaven was high
Here we are falling

Cover me with your wings
In this embrace
I will feel as you have felt to fly
As you learn a young, cloudless sky
May the sun kiss you even sweeter if you depart from me

The fog passed in tendrils
Like ghosts over the bridge
Shredded to threads
By the cars passing by

Like sunrises over the hill
The headlights climb
In single file
Racing to the horizon

These foggy nights
Are what I live for
Driving into oblivion
With you by my side

I have a handful of guardian angels
None of them wash their hands
Before devouring my sins
I am a morsel of madness

Am I the only one
Who doesn't give a ****

I don't care what you say
And I don't care to which gods you pray

No matter the color of your skin
No matter how fat or how thin

I don't care about your height
To me it doesn't matter who is wrong and who is right

Cant we just be real
Rather than lie cheat and steal

Cant we just be real
Before I have nothing left to feel

The message you left me on the wall
It changed my life and my whole world crumbled

I am trapped
I tripped I stumbled
Oh the angry words I mumbled

In between the worlds a blur
Spinning silent in orbit

My head is not my own
Controlled by demons in a rage
Take my book rip the page

Your soul stands and it you fly
To empty barren immortal skies

Reach it stop before the end
It will pull you into its embrace
One last sodden face

Starve
To extinction
Anything that feeds
From your peace

Seven billion people know
Seven billion let me go

They watch my show
They watched me grow

My mother is the one they want
But to reach her they must get through

They want my touch, they want my money
But they aren't getting any honey

I have diamonds in my hair
And riches everywhere

But I want it just to be
Just mother and just me

Without fame without crowds
Without the people screaming loud

Entitled to fame
A popular name
So much gain
Lost on a train
Going in one direction
People give the wrong directions

I dress to impress
And press in and on

I've talked on T.V.
But I am trapped never free

Let me go just let me be
Alone and forever just God and me

Thank you for saving my life :)

Sunrise
    Sunset
       What if?
          I never
               Get up

The words I fanaticize falling from your lips
Small syllables raining in drips
Silent correspondence of mouth-less words
Ever present chirping of cheerful birds

Blushing cheeks of ****** roses
Statues moving stone faced poses
A fountain of watered down lies
The despair of love and betrayal in your eyes

If these lips only spoke true
Would they still belong to you
Hands so delicate around a waist
Would very quickly be replaced

Your gentle eyes a stony gaze
Another falsehood you have betrayed
A starring contest between three sinners
But there can only be two winners

A puzzlement of a blind nature
Left by a dead betrayer
The six feet of barren ground
Over head and all around

Lips preserved for deaths kiss
You had but one wish
A waterlogged fate aboard a sinking ship
A rope of faith, fate gave you a trip

The ebbing flow of ceaseless tides
Made by tears of loving brides
An isle walk to a dessert shore
Trying to find what they are looking for

Simple conundrum of upper class
The poor stare as they pass
The winds icy breath down a back
A snowy day turned chimney black

Lines of a poem soon forgotten
A single apple bit into and rotten
The sour grape in a bunch
Just one bite a single munch

Artists with no inspiration
A flower of a past reincarnation
Lost words of ancient hymns
Seeking for a riddle within

Words of soft spoken encouragement
A place you went where I was sent
A trip down memory lane
The words you speak drive me insane

I will trick my belly into thinking she is full
Just as I have fooled my heart

bills and lotions we're over coating
I'm hurt but I still want you

I think I woke up today
Just to hate all the songs on the radio
Yet somehow
I remain
Neighbors with to the emotionless

So it begins:

I miss you above all the stars in the sky


So I must find a way to fly


I miss you friend more than sand


Every grain in every single land


I miss you more each and every day


To find you, I must make a way


You belong inside of my heart


Never far, never ever apart


I miss you more than the moon


You play my heart to a gentle tune


I miss you more than the sun


Of my friends, you are the best one


I miss you less when you are near


Every moment I wish you here


You belong inside my heart


Never far, never ever apart


I miss you like I've lost a hand


So pull me up and help me stand


I miss like I cannot see


I am blind so please guide me


I miss you like I cannot walk


With you thought, I will not be lost


You belong inside my heart


Never far, never ever apart


I miss you my memories clock


You hold my heart and the lock


I miss you my old and dear


Stay with me, just be near


I miss you my precious half


I want you always, to come back


You belong inside my heart


Never far, never ever apart

I like being sick cause then I loose weight
I can ignore the pain and ignore the hate

I cant separate the joy from confusion
I don't want to be another tool that you are using

I mark my calendar days crossing off each one
Waiting for the year to end wanting it to be done

Your words mix and jumble in my head
I am dying inside when I should be living instead

I am rising like a storm at sea
Waiting till I am strong enough to set myself free

I rage and boil and smoke inside
I remember all the other times I tried

I failed back then will I fail now
I stand in a room with a throne will I bow

I fall to my knees and utter my shame
I will hurt and take my blame

I speak like rain and poisoned drops
I want the sky to fall and not stop

It comes slow and it comes fast
I need it now it must last

I am lost on tiles of black
Wanting to look back

I am floating on tiles of white
Hidden, hiding in a curtain of fright

Its on a board smooth to touch
But the special effects are to much

Its a court a court of shame
And I will always take the blame

They reach behind me in the storm
Oil rains from the sky
The wild are set loose to rain
Bringing wrath and leashing pain

The veins on my arms tighten
Waiting for the skies to lighten
The fear is gone lost on the brave
Waiting for the victory they crave

The light at the end of the tunnel
Fire twigs and matches bundle
Duck your head and harden your heart
Do my will and do your part

The earth is uncertain of which side its on
The skies are empty and the sun is gone
The clouds tremble and they hide
Waiting for the tide

Mount your steed and say your prayers
Deep into the earth many rocky layers
The core or heart of our home
The death of many to atone

The blood that was shed in this place
The world rid of every trace
Scrolls with words
Wings on birds

The things you trust and remember
The light to bring and darkness sever

You are a gentle memory
I cradle such
As the night sky does the moon

his was a an epic love story
hers an intense tragedy
they always found the comedy
and had lots of action
but it ended in horror
with the popcorn all stale
the tears in the ******
and the marks on the floor
she saw the prelude
and he cheated during the intermission
the both paid for their tickets
had their turn to get stubbed
left their broken hearts and empty sodas behind
they waited and then they got in line
like the other zombie couples
at the movie theatre midnight premier
of: The Day I loved, there was only one showing

If you truly love me
Like you truly say you do
Then stop all the heartbreak
And just be you

If you truly care
Cuz I know you're there
Then stop ignoring my messages
And just disappear like air

I cant breathe the foul
odor of lies
I cant stand the stench
of your denies

I wish I knew what to say
But my heart gets in the way
A sensitive un-human soul
But being nice isn't my goal
Just a realistic sentimental sort
I don't play hearts like a sport
If I say I love you it is not lie
I just don't want to say it so close to goodbye
Never know which way to turn
But always knowing which finger to burn
Never understanding pain
But watching you walk away drives me insane
I can be called a sappy ****
But you know you love my ****
Not just my body but my mind
Is what keeps you entwined
If you could see my soul
You would never let me go
Cuz the stars in your eyes are mirrored in mine
And the truth in your lies are a happy demise
Just a phone call away from a happy time
Take a number and get in line

I am starting to care.

Oh god please make it stop!

I think I might dare.

No no no not again

I just want to love, and be loved

Why these desires

I second guess every thought.

And you **** well should!

But...

Oh here we go

I thought...

Don't think just stop it!

That maybe...

Facepalm


You would dare to take a chance.

Oh great

On a broken heart like me.

Mhm

That you would want to get to know,

Don't do it!

The girl who used to smile :)

Those days are gone you idiot!

You don't need to become my happiness

Seriously loser?

Just share it with me <3

So cliche

But please, please

Oh great begging

Please, don't break my heart

Here it comes

Because if you do,

If? When you mean.

There will be nothing left

You got that right

Ever again.

Oh the depravity

My conscience

Heyo

Tell me no, just stop and let go

I am right!

But...

What the heck!

I need you :/

No you don't!

To remind me I'm alive

Not for long!

In the morning and the night

Blah blah blah

You will be my light

Oh how sweet

I believe you are worth the risk

No he isn't!

And the pain

You idiot!

And the tears

Oh cry me a river

Because love isn't a risk

Wah?

It's a liability

she rides like a mustang and runs just as fast
you can never catch her because she will break
just like all the things made out of glass

her heart is the most fragile part of her frame
and if you touch her she will turn to sand
just like the wind over the dunes

I tell my mother I am tired
She looks at me
She knows
How women always do
Two backless mirrors
Lost in the others reflection
One will swallow the other
Birth her
And thus the cycle continues
Russian nesting dolls of pain
Full only of each others dreams
How foreign
How familiar

I think the tears that slip out the corners of your eyes when you are laying on your back in your bed are the saddest

My mind is manspreading

It was a long drive
I fell into the last sleep
On the way home
Shortly after the sun went down
I felt the bumps
In the road
I knew
We were almost home
You knew
When you buckled me in
That I was slowing down
Your gentle turns
Lulled me to sleep
I went out with the light
Will you carry my body inside
Wrap my arms around your neck
Lay her to rest
In a midnight coffin
Heavens sheets tucked
Around my chest
I feel like a child

Its never enough to know the past
I need the now
I must know how

I want the rush I need the fire
I have so much unfilled desire
I seek the means to and end
I want a road without bend

I hate feeling numb
I try to act dumb
I need the sweet sip of revenge
I have many a reason to avenge

I have my reasons and you have yours
I've spent to much time behind oaken doors

I smell the pines and the smoke
But hide my smile behind a dark blue cloak

I write in my book
But let no one look

I thought if I told you all my problems
Then they would go away

But no they only blossom
They stop and they stay

Go away go away
Don't come back any day
Make a way make a way
Stop standing in the fray

Walk your path
Lead your life

the excitement I get from your touch
is like static electricity

Pulling string riddled through my mindlessness
Never took me places I should of gone

I found in the dark
Things wrought in moonlight and tears of lost lovers
How beautiful they would be
Sparkling in the light of the sun

I need you as you are
You changed.
I slept, fool that I am

I am dying now, shuddering to think
That I will live another day
It will be a day I live alone

There is nothing sadder to my soul
Than one set of footprints in the sand
The oceans claims them just the same

In the frailty of my mind
I wonder
Do dreams come true
Or nightmares found a way to sweeten themselves

Sigh

The night never ends
She just takes coffee breaks
I just break
Break up
Break apart
Drift among the uncertainty
With one hand clasping the necklace around my throat
The other holding a rose pricking my fingers

I shudder to think
So I close my mind
Running circles in my skull
Just wearing out the floor
Just wearing out the floor

Strangers crying and daughters dying
Lights that only reach so far
Candle put out by incompatible thought
Incomplete pieces of a scatter puzzle

You say it is a beautiful thing to know me
I say you are a beautiful thing to be known

You say I am a dream and a star
I say you are the whole sky and all she holds

You say I am an ocean and a boat
I say you taste of salt and memories

You say I am all you could imagine and more
I say you are everything I could need, every breathe I could breathe

You say I am truth and light
And it breaks my heart to know, that the lies and shadows in you only wanted to eat up all the good in me
That the gentleness of my heart was a meal to suffice for such a wretch

Still I offer it up.

Foolish and selfless as I am.

You say I am beautiful and whole
And I wish that I could believe such things
If such things were so

You say I am the whole world
And I cannot help but ask why you would need so much, and if I was that much... why am I not enough for you?

For when I ask for a grain of salt all you have to give me was sand, still I did not complain

Maybe that is how endings are born out of beginnings, you threaded lies in needles only meant for dreams
Sewed my mouth shut
Just so you could say I had seams

When your roots call to you, listen
But do not be afraid to plant your own seeds
May you bloom as beautiful as the dreams your forefathers have prayed for you
Whether you walk in their shoes
Or take steps on a path you have made your own
The soil is for those who water it

'98
It was a good year
Twenty-twelve
It was better

I met you
I never knew
Brown eyes

Could see inside my soul
Empty my whole heart
At the same time
You make me feel whole

Two thousand fifteen
That's how many years
It seems like have passed
Since I kissed you last

Seventeen years old
Some years left to go
Some I will love
Some I won't know

Many years remembered
Many memories to make
Many hearts forgotten
Many, mine, will break

Years of time stretch high
Some to kiss into the sky

Moments that taste
Like popcorn
Oreos
Smell like rain
Feel like my fingers
On a taught bow string
Taste like pavement after a storm
Look a rainbow

Hide and seek
Time to keep
Kiss to give
Moments to live

Is it weird I will refresh my email for hours waiting to hear from you.
But,
The moment you send me a message I lose all self control?

I never felt this much contained rage
When I was a child
It was much more terrible then
I let it bleed out into a jar
I am the place
Where the glass bottles sit now
Collecting dust
One by one

Knowledge is the great plunderer of youth
Intuition was a better friend
She knew before she was told
Have you never felt fire of life in your belly
Glass stars in your fingertips

Immaturity lacks discretion
Here we are silent, void of words
This truly is enough
If you let it be

You planted roses in my heart
     Now I am overgrown
With these thorns in my lungs
     And petals blooming out my eyes
The only reason my head is held high
     Is because of the stems in my throat
And still you bring me bouquets
     And still I pluck away
He loves me...
     He loves me not...
He loves me....
     He loves me not.

The clock she sings
And I tremble for a moment
My memories laced into to many people
"Never enough time," I mutter, "never enough time. To tell those that I love, that I am with them always."

you don't take my breath away*
    

              you suffocate me like cigarette smoke to an asthmatic