some, older than you
prophesied, I would never be cold
all my duties
are to avoid burning
I told you of my temples
you come empty-handed
asking for frankincense, myrh
I knew of this ghost once
a thousand years ago
some, say he will return
humans are so god-awful impatient
some, waiting in white
will never see him
others, shackled at the ankle
say he is still here
I am not one for answers
I pour my questions out
into the street
as if it was a river
more often than not
is it a graveyard
if I do die
bury me shallow
why should I be silent
even the stones would cry out

I know you can see through the paper thin garment
I call my skin

But yet still I wonder if you can gaze through my hands
To see the poker cards between my fingers

You would not cheat or call my bluff but you would know
Just the same what I chose

Would you differentiate your cards accordingly and
Win this game for you own

Or would you see that I have no other options and you
Would try to play me for you own?

Flowers on the grave
Wasted wishes
Painful lies
Twisted truth

Hooves on horses
Clouds in the sky
Wings on birds
That forgot how to fly

Reading between the lines
Making breath
Taking time

Your place in life
Your spot in line
The single note from a chime

The wicked seas
And stormy weather

A rope to tie
A rope to tether
The one you love far away
The one you wanted to stay

The war between
Oh battle of ages

Fights and storms
The sea rages

The blades are drown
Farwell's are bade
A unfair trade

February words and
Unpursued waves
Memories of lies
To keep my story straight

A web so entangled
It snared its maker
Some for now
And some for later

Ankle bites
And goodnight lies
Morning coffee
As black as the night

Sweet and sweeter
A wretched dream
But is it better to sleep
Than to want to leave

A marker tattoo
As permanent as my existence
Traceable calls
To a newer resistance

Spell check those ***** stamps
Is it low enough
Correct all the rights
Where the truth is the lie

And fly your kite higher in the ground
Opposites and confusion
Emotions of dreams
Become as emotionally withdrawn as possible

Or enter the ground
To become a fossil

That one drink that leads to another
Select your driver, chose your brother
Lets go out and forget our troubles
Let fill our minds and stomachs with bubbles
Sit on a stool in bar
Brace yourself this could go far
With makeup to our temples
Looking like people we shouldn't resemble
My hands shake and my voice trembles
When my stupid choices all assemble
Hiding in a crowd of drunken idiots
Just wanting to fit in to get with it
When we all look alike
And we all get in stupid fights
Is this what my life is meant to be
It all just seems silly to me
Lets hurt our bodies but not alone
Is this the life I want to condone
With a drink in one hand
Double ******* the band
The lights hurt my head
And I long for my bed
The smell of clean sheets
And the look of clean streets
I want to go home to where I belong
I was looking for myself but I wasn't lost all along

Love like Alaska
Tear through the town
Love like Alaska
Knock everything down

Kiss like Kansas
Use lots of force
Kiss like Kansas
Cuz you know what's coming is worse

Walk like Wisconsin
And be confident
Walk like Wisconsin
Like your the one God send

My wings caught in the gate
As I left my kingdom
They tore from shoulder to waist
And then they were erased
I lost all grace and charm
I no wings just two weak arms
Tears so cold rolled down my face
And no wings could wipe my face
Never again will I fly
I can never face the sky
For it will taunt me and remind me of my shame
Remembering that day of pain
The day I lost my wings
The day I changed my name
I cannot be an angel
For I have no wings
My halo I lost in the war
And I shall have it no more
My wings are gone
Flown away from me
They tore from my soul
And left me broken; un-whole
I lost my wings
My angelic dreams
I lost my wings
They were more than just things
They showed my power
And my dreams
My kingdom now is desolate
I left it now, I left it
My wings behind my future before me
I left my dreams twixt heaven and earth
Hoping they can find another galaxy
Another way to fly
Than an angel with no wings

**** it
That's all I know
That and how
To let go
Its not a Disney movie
With a happy ending
If I make it to the end
Then I will be happy
But for this poor moment
I am trapped in a room
Forced to make friends
With the monster
Under my bed
Shaking hands
Rolling dice
Selling souls void of emotion
A dark candle with little light
I lost this game
I lost the race
But I wonder who will take my place

My body betrays my mind
And my mouth betrays them both

Do I tempt you
With the smell of lies?
Is beautiful
Do see your demise?

Long gone
A lone stone
Waves so wild and wet
But you have seen nothing yet
My hands shake in desperation
For a world without any preparation
I hold my head up to the crying skies to see
My feet stand still but my heart wishes to flee
I wait in silence and dread the doom
Trying to see through the gloom
A quaking heart with veins
Terrible shaken names
We speak riddles
And stop
Wait

Look at the clock

Take your deceit a different way

In the dark I am an elf
Hidden by cloak and dagger

In the light my eyes will glaze
And ears will fade
And voice will change

In the dark I am an elf
Covered with my hair so long

In the light I am just human
I am short
I am real

The void  called to take me back
Come home to the darkness it screams
I whispered into its expanse of nothingness
A something of a quiet sort
*I belong to the light and sunshine
And nothing you have is me or mine

Fireflies
Raging rapids
Crack of dawn
Blatant night
Frozen stories
Childish cries

Lists of nonsense, or puzzle to solve?
Secrets, lies and people to involve.

You bruise my body
And you cut my soul
You **** me dry
And tell me fie

I cant live this life
I cant bear this pain

I don't want your hug
I don't know you name

Your hurting me on purpose
Why do you want my life

Your hurting me on purpose
Stopping ruining my life

I just want to see and understand
The beauty in life I can hold in my hand

In simplicity
Oh the joy I have found
What good is patience
When you do not make yourself known to me

Yearning to love
Not knowing the pain
Seeking to love
But cursed by pain
Wanting to love
But held back by pain
Needing to love
Getting hit by a train

You were melting
It made me wax
Like the moon
You were wick
And wicked
I could be nothing to you
But I was only yours

Just one drop of water on the roof of shame
Just one drop sliding down my window pane
Just one drop falling from my eye
Just one drop saying goodbye

Just one tear on my silent face
Just one tear taking your place
Just one tear that is silent and cold
Just one tear alone and bold

Just one drip falling up the hill
Just one drip silent and still
Just one drip standing for the burn
Justo one drip to teach and to learn

Just one bead on a soaked string
Just one bead wanting for nothing
Just one bead on its own path
Just one bead running oh so fast

Just one drop hiding from the sun
Just on tear still on the run
Just on drip falling from a star
Just one bead tell me where you are

reborn on a tree, like a leaf
           *only to be lost in the wind
                       *gusts of time that blow into tomorrows

I walk barefoot
On the pads of my toes
Down cobblestone streets
This is North
She is cold
But welcoming

I carry
The bottom half of my heart
In my left hand
And the top half of my thoughts
In my right
My hands are full
My heart broken
And my thoughts in disarray
Come walk with me
And you will know the truth

I do not wear my heart
Upon my sleeve
But still it beats
In palm and chest alike
Would that I could
Shake your hand
And give you
My fondest memories
It is not such
And still I wander along
To find an angel
Who's chest
I can place my heart into
To find a sinner
To take these thoughts
But I am lost
Lost
Lost with no direction

I wake up in the morning feeling like a child
But something inside me is crazy and wild

The words pour fourth like water
Pennies spilling, made of copper

It boils over and it burns
Remembering lessons I have learned

I yearn for the light hidden behind your eyes
Like the sea and its stormy skies

I cry but my words fall upon deaf years
Struggling to see you clearly through the tears

Oh a child I am and child I will be
Will I ever be able to see

I am blind lost in darkness
Feeling empty no more no less

Pain is riddled in my chest
Is this all just a test

I gave my all you want my best
Stop wait I need to rest

Holding on to your hand
I am falling help me stand

You are strong you can see
But why do you ignore me

I am trapped behind glassy expanses
Standing in silent trances

I am afraid to move my feet
Will the earth crumble beneath

My hands reach out and brush your face
Just one touch just one trace

Your heart is soft I melted you
Didn't think I could get through

I cannot look but I can see
I'll hold you here next to me

It seems like everybody wants to just fall in love
But things that fall get broken
What we think are shooting stars
Is just space junk
It can't fulfill your wish

I just want to love and be loved
And let love, those who love

I don't need the cosmos to intervene
Or determine the condition of my heart
Cuz love isn't a game or a milkway
It's an essence of wishes in symphony

It been three days
Three nights
I haven’t slept
More than an hour
At a time
Since I had that dream
About the man
With ice white hair

He is coming for me

They think I'm tough
They think I'm strong
They never knew all along

I'm so alone I'm so afraid
I don't have enough strength to be brave

Why do you want me dead?
I just lie and cry instead

I ravage my body
I feed the pain
Why do so many people know my name
I didn't want this kind of fame

You hit me and you hit hard
I'm playing my last card

I don't want to live this life
I'll just end it with a knife

You only say you sorry when I'm gone
You only say you cared when I'm gone

I have no tomorrow
I know only pain and only sorrow

You hurt my body but you broke my spirit
And I can't ever repair it

I made mistakes I did the wrong
I made it look like I was strong

My body bleeds in places
Cutting for all the angry faces

Why do I deserve this fate
I move from state to state

No mothers love can ease this now
No father can kiss my brow

I am alone without a friend
I will never ever mend
Don't you care
Don't you know
This is how my life will end

With memories of what could have happened
But I'm blocked by pain and many hands
Just to hurt not help me stand

With one word and one command
They hit me now with blows so hard
I lay in silence I'll just listen

I drink the cup of poison
Will I die today

Dear God take me
Take me now I pray

Only when I'm gone
Will you say your sorry

Only when I'm gone
Will you listen to my story

Only when my body is the ground
Will you hear my voice crying out loud

When I cant see the sun
For fear of recognition

When my stone stands tall and is marked with words
Like the blade marks in my skin
My body is cold my body is thin

Only when I'm gone
Only when I'm gone
Will you see the beauty and pain within

I think

If I ever

Spoke

With you again

Tears would come

And they would never stop

I will drown

In that moment

Pulled under

My undoing

I am sunk

To the bottom

Of a hollow

Broken

Sea

With nothing

To resurrect me

Because only those with souls

Float

**

I promise to hold you
I promise to listen
I will care when you don't
I will be your light in your dark
I will be your friend when you feel alone
I will be the one that you hold to
When everyone else has let you go
I am your steady rock
In the eye of the storm
Cling to me
For I promise to *never let you go
I love you to much
Our souls are intertwined
To ever be broken apart

If you were a tree
I would be your gentle breeze
Always pulling of your dead leaves
So new life can grow again
If you were the ocean
I would be your shore
Giving you something to reach for
If you were the sun
I would be your moon
So you could have your moment to shine
But also your rest at night
If you were a mountain
I would be your valley
Laying in between your arms
Wrapped in your majesty
I promise you my nights
And I give you my days
I will stay in your head
So I can learn your ways
I promise you my thoughts
The ones in my heart
So when you feel afraid
We won't be far apart
This is my life
But you are my world
This is my day
But you are the best part
This is your tear
But I feel it on my cheeks
This is our chance
Let's not waste it

I promise you a hug
When you cannot lift your arms
I promise you and answer
When you do not know the question
I promise you my wrists
And the scars they bear
So you will remember
That every step of the way
I have been there <3

As you call me, I am known
Shackle or sail it be
Earth or sea
The same to me
Remember to pray
Knees do not always kneel
Words stand as they are spoken
Frail limbs, as quickly broken  
No harm, no foul, no folly in this
Walking ignorance, does not know bliss
To bent nails all hammers are blows
Wisdom is fleeting, on it goes

There are words I hold in
Drafts rooted in the stumps of my fingertips
That may never branch into trees

I stare into the heavens
The vast expanse
Has already past
I wonder
Who looks back
Sees me
As I was
Are we ever as we are
Are we ever
We are barely here
Hardly human

I wake each morning from my bed
Trying to subdue the pain in my head

I hold my wrist that does still burn
Will I ever learn

The fire is always stronger
The pain is always longer

The flames reach for my soul
Leaving a burning smoking hole

I cant control this flame
It hurts more than the sting of a cane

In a world all its own
In a world all alone

The fire has its own will
Against a voice small and shrill

It smokes and screams
Against the demons

It is a dark force that still shines bright
A force that haunts me through the night

Life will flourish wherever this water flows.

You don't know me at all
What is my favorite color

All you know is my face

What can you see

Do you see inside

Can you look

Past the lies

I scream

Tossing and turning

But you just watching

Laughing

So evil

And so dark

While I am

Simply torn apart

I was a pawn

From the start

You think that this

Is just fun and games

But games do not end

In this pain

The crowd watches

And they cheer

Is the end

Really this near

Do I win

Did you loose

Ring the bell

Or I will choose

In my purse I have a picture
Of my little sister
She was so sweet an innocent
I imagine my Mom has a picture of me
That looks like I am innocent to
But that would be a lie
Of a false kind
Because I know this world
And the secrets that it hides
Not so long ago
I met a boy
Who was the first
Not to treat me like a toy
He placed my heart in cage
So it would not shatter
Building up the walls of a castle
So we could play inside
He made me feel safe
Like a warm hug
And I knew that God has sent him
From his kingdom above
I loved this boy
And he loved me
But love isn't anything like they make it out to be
Its a lot harder to love than I thought
But its all worth it
We never gave up
Through thick or thin
And when he knocked on my door
I always let him in
I told him my secrets
And how to calm my heart
And he held it in his hands
So it wouldn't fall apart
He never let me go
And never let me fall
And to this day I love him
Even though he drives me up the walls

When I touched my face
It was not the same as when I touched yours
I could not wipe the tiredness from my eyes
In the same gentle motion aa I finger walked every crevice of your skin
With you, it is about the journey and the destination
Every mile is made into memories with you
When my mind forgets my fingers will remember

Who is this imposter?
Who pretends to be me?
I didn't make those lines.
It couldn't of been me.

The girl I am is a healer
I have so many band-aids
I can't remember last night
To this pain I say, "I am afraid"

Waiting for dawn to break the sky
Waiting for truth to fight the lie

Kissing someone you love goodbye

Pain and longing to see that face
To find where you belong a special place

You may be alone
But you are the one that chose to leave me

I want you back but if you'd ask I'd say no
I had to learn to let you go

Its not easy saying goodbye
But better than believing your lie

I don't think your love is worth a second try
I'd rather be alone and die

I can go back years in my mind
And still that changes nothing for today
What is done is dead
But not yet buried
This grave tempts me to lie in it
And my weariness coaxes me along
A few tears are running, silently, down my cheeks
The darkness, she always cries with me
New sheets do naught for old dreams
And new lovers do nothing for old scars
This girl, who runs on sand and streets alike
If you chased her,
And caught her,
She would wind you like a thread around her finger,
And tell you all the secrets of the world
Her heart is cleaved in half
She felt the breaking.
Yet somehow she is put together just so,
Just so, perfectly
The ground she lays upon is cold
Her nails scratch against the tombstones as she rises
Likewise, the sun is climbing her way into the morning
We will bury this night with shovels full of dirt
Enough has been said while the moon is full
To be silent for today
Enough has been said for tomorrow
To be silent today

I am a moon
Poetry is my dark side