These words I'm writing down
Don't matter
They never will
You'll never see them
You'll never be able to understand
Or  uncover
Exactly what they mean
Or to what extent
Words are just words
But you can use them to paint
A vivid picture of just about anything
But I don't think words can describe
In detail
The pain that flooded me with your goodbye
And the heart wrentching
memories that circle around my
Mind with no end.
Its very strange another soul could
Have made me feel a way I can't
Exactly comprehend
My heart is cold and icy
And
Pain hit me like lightening
Even in my innocent youthful years.
But then came along this boy,
Out of nowhere
And within minutes of conversing
I felt my heart swell
And within a blink of and eye
just like that
He simply made me feel.
Oh how my fickle heart ached
For his attention
He was nothing but a boy
With bright eyes and a diesel truck
Always looking for trouble and
Getting stuck
But he was not just a boy to me
He was my everything
He was something to look forward to
A spark of light, hope,
In the dark depths of despair.
But he never knew
How much he meant to me
And I guess I never really told him
Either
But time changed everything
We both went our seperate paths
With bitterness aimed towards eachother
I tried to get him to understand
To try to see through my sad eyes
But he wouldn't
And my heart cannot get over him
It belongs to him even though it shouldn't
So I'm enclosing my heart
In a jar
In a mason jar
For a boy named mason

Erasure & Found Poem from
"On Photography By Teju Cole in april 16th new york times magazine

--

You were The fast moving disaster of a tsunami
added to the slow motion disaster
of a nuclear calamity

Towns flooded
Infrastructure wrecked
Forests splintered
more than 15,000 people dead.
earthquake cut off
my external power supply
Floodwaters damaged my backup generators
Disabled it's cooling system
Overheating ensued
Fuel in three reactor cores melted
Releasing radiation

Everyone saw The water coming in
The roads swept away
Towns and harbors destroyed

Extensive documentary work
was undertaken by photographers
Of the ruins,
Debris,
Cleanup and relief operations

The gut-wrentching scale of destruction
The professionalism of the emergency crews
The fortitude of the survivers

The extreme uncertainty I feel
in our current political moment
helps me understand for the first time
the curious twinship
of mourning and premonition.

Information
about the tragedy
Sorrow for the suffering it caused
Gratitude for the work
that makes sorrow visible
Foreboding about the future.

An alert flashes
your phone
Something terrible has happened
Far away, a flood, an airstrike,
Soon, there's footage of people picking through wreckage
what used to be their homes

It is easy to pity them
Difficult to imagine this will be you
Suddenly bereft of a solid place in the world.

Listening to anything
that touches on the sublime
makes me apprehensive.

Like The silence that greets us
waking in the middle of the night