dilaw na dyaket ang suot mo noon
habang ako ay nananahimik
hindi makaimik
at pinagmamasdan ang bawat sinag ng dapithapon
na sinasala ng kinulayang bintana
kung saan ay sa aking mga mata na ngayon lamang nakakita ng ganda ay biglang napatunganga

dilaw na dyaket ang suot mo noon
at ang unang naitala
sa listahan ng mga napuna ng aking mga mata at biglang napatunganga na nga

nang dahil sa bawat tupi ng manggas
at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng dilaw na dyaket **** naisipang ipakita sa silid ng mga kaluluwa

mga kaluluwang akala ko ay mabibigyan kong buong pansin ngunit heto, napatitig na rin

ako'y napatitig na rin

napatitig sa dilaw na dyaket mo
at hindi ko mawari kung paano
pero ang dilaw na dyaket **** nakabalabal sa iyong kay liit na katawan ay humihila pababa sa iyong mga balikat
nakakibit
hindi man lang kayang mapaakyat ang iyong pagpapakalálo
napapaliit
ang tikas ng iyong pagkatao

hindi ko rin mawari kung paano
pero ang dilaw na dyaket mo ay para bang napabalabal na rin sa akin
at mula noon, ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng aking puso ay handa nang aminin na ikaw ay naging isang

anghel

ang dilaw na dyaket mo ay naging iyong halo
at ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa nito ay naging mga pakpak mo at ikaw ay naging isang

anghel

ika'y naging
anghel sa aking isipan
marikit na imahe sa aking kaloob-looban
munting sigaw sa buong kalawakan
o, munting anghel ko, nais ko na sanang isigaw:
nakikita mo ba?
nakikita mo ba kung paano kita nakikita?
nakikita mo ba kung paano kita sinasamba?
nakikita mo ba kung paano kita sinisinta?

oo, sinisinta, dahil
munting anghel ko, o, mahal kita
mahal kita, o, munting anghel ko

mahal kita
at ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng iyong pagkatao
mahal kita
at ayaw kong manatili ka lamang sa isipan ko
mahal kita
at nais kong ako ang magpabalabal sa iyong puso
at nais kong ako ay maging iyo

at nais kong mahalin mo rin ako

ngunit, o, munting anghel ko, natakot ako
natakot ako na
kung ilalahad ko ang lahat ng mga ligaw na alaala ko sa iyo
ay huhusgahan mo ako
kung hayaan kong buksan mo ang aking mga pinto
ay matatakot ka nang makita mo ang nilalaman nito
kung ipakita ko sa iyo ang lahat ng mga tupi ng manggas at mga kusot ng bulsa ng aking puso
ay magugulat ka at lilisanin mo ako

kaya heto, ang munting anghel ko ay nanatili sa isipan lamang
ang marikit na imahe ko ay nanirahan sa kaloob-looban lamang

ang munting sigaw ko ay naging bulong lamang
isang bulong na nagsasabing:
o, munting anghel ko, mahal kita,
o, munting anghel ko, pangarap kita,
ngunit, o, munting anghel ko, natatakot akong sa piling mo'y ako'y madulas
at tuluyang mawala ka.

maroon na dyaket ang suot mo kanina
noong ako ay naarawan ng sikat ng umaga
at ng tawa ng ilang mga kahalubilo't kasama
at naroon sa gitna ng aking sariling mga tawa ay nakita kita
ngunit may kasamang iba

at siya'y ika'y inakbayan
at ika'y siya'y nginitian
at ako'y napaisip nang biglaan
kayo ba?
kayo ba?
kayo ba?

napakwento ang kaibigan ko:
alam mo ba,
ganun na nga
sila na
magdadalawang-linggo na.

hindi naman sa nasaktan ako
pero parang ganoon na nga.

hindi naman sa napatigil bigla ang tibok ng puso ko
pero parang ganoon na nga.

hindi naman sa nadurog ako nang mapansin ko na ang sukat ng maroon na dyaket mo ay mas sakto sa iyo at hindi niya nahihila pababa ang iyong buong pagkatao at siguro ito ay dahil siya ang kasama mo at hindi ako kaya para bang siya na ang nakabalabal sa iyong puso at ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng kaniyang puso ay napaibig na sa iyo—

pero parang ganoon na nga.

ganoon na nga
dahil kayo na nga

kayo na
kayo na
kayo na.

ganoon na nga
dahil siya ang kasama mo

hindi ako
hindi ako
hindi ako.

siguro kung hindi ako natakot

siguro kung hindi ako natakot na ilahad ang lahat ng mga ligaw na alaala ko sa iyo
ay hindi ka na mananatili lamang sa isipan ko

siguro kung hindi ako natakot na hayaang buksan mo ang aking mga pinto
ay mapapabalabal ko na ang iyong puso

siguro kung hindi ako natakot na ipakita ang lahat ng mga tupi ng manggas at mga kusot ng bulsa ng aking puso
ay ako na'y magiging iyo

siguro kung hindi ako natakot na madulas sa piling mo
ay mamahalin mo na rin ako

ngunit ayan na nga, o, munting anghel ko, natakot ako
at ayan na nga, o, munting anghel ko,
lahat ng ito ay hindi ko na nasabi sa iyo
at ayan na nga, o, munting anghel ko,

baka tuluyan nang mawala ang dilaw na dyaket mo sa buhay ko

maroon na dyaket na ang suot mo
ngunit ang dilaw na dyaket mo pa rin ang nakatatak sa isipan ko
at ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng dilaw na dyaket mo ay nakabalabal pa rin sa aking puso

aking puso na nadurog, at patuloy na nadudurog hanggang ngayon
nang dahil sa dilaw na dyaket na suot mo noon

dahil sa dilaw na dyaket na suot na ng iba ngayon

Naglalaro tayo,
Pero hindi parang biro.
Mayroong taya,
Pero hindi alam kung sino.
At walang tayo,
Pero sana’y parehas na manalo.

Sisilip ang pusong walang pagkukunwari.
At sa tikas at dunong ng iyong pananampalataya,
Pawang gabay sa nauuhaw na sandali.
Ang baryang sentimo’y itinabi nang kusa,
Pagkat umuusbong ang pagsinta
Sa para sanang taglagas na paghinga.

Nais kong siyasatin ang maamo **** mukha
At ang pagkukumbaba’y batid kong patas at di ulila.
Iyong mga kamay, yapos silang mga uhaw
At ang tula’y binalot ng pakikipaghimagsikan.

Dukha ang pag-ibig ko,
Bagkus hindi mamamalimos.
At sa mala-larong pag-iibigan,
Magwawagi rin tayo.

Sapat na ang nalalabing mga sandali’t
Armas nati’y ibibigkis pa rin sa Langit.
Pagkat hindi lilisanin ang Harding may bukal ng pag-ibig.

Tataya ako’t hindi ka muna gigisingin
Sa himbing ng paghikbi’y, ako’y gapos ng katotohanan.
Sinta, hintay lamang; pagkat matatapos din ang laro
Gigising tayong muli’t bibihisan ng pagsuyo.

HE lived on the wings of storm.
The ashes are in Chihuahua.

Out of Ludlow and coal towns in Colorado
Sprang a vengeance of Slav miners, Italians, Scots, Cornishmen, Yanks.
Killings ran under the spoken commands of this boy
With eighty men and rifles on a hogback mountain.

They killed swearing to remember
The shot and charred wives and children
In the burnt camp of Ludlow,
And Louis Tikas, the laughing Greek,
Plugged with a bullet, clubbed with a gun ****.

As a home war
It held the nation a week
And one or two million men stood together
And swore by the retribution of steel.

It was all accidental.
He lived flecking lint off coat lapels
Of men he talked with.
He kissed the miners' babies
And wrote a Denver paper
Of picket silhouettes on a mountain line.

He had no mother but Mother Jones
Crying from a jail window of Trinidad:
"All I want is room enough to stand
And shake my fist at the enemies of the human race."

Named by a grand jury as a murderer
He went to Chihuahua, forgot his old Scotch name,
Smoked cheroots with Pancho Villa
And wrote letters of Villa as a rock of the people.

How can I tell how Don Magregor went?

Three riders emptied lead into him.
He lay on the main street of an inland town.
A boy sat near all day throwing stones
To keep pigs away.

The Villa men buried him in a pit
With twenty Carranzistas.

There is drama in that point...
...the boy and the pigs.
Griffith would make a movie of it to fetch sobs.
Victor Herbert would have the drums whirr
In a weave with a high fiddle-string's single clamor.

"And the muchacho sat there all day throwing stones
To keep the pigs away," wrote Gibbons to the Tribune.

Somewhere in Chihuahua or Colorado
Is a leather bag of poems and short stories.

i'm sorry that my mom and you didn't work out
i'm sorry that mayias mom and you didn't work out
i'm sorry that paul's mom and you worked out
i'm sorry that i couldn't  give you friday night lights like he did.
i'm sorry i was born in 2000 because you missed more days with me than you did with them.
i'm sorry that sounded selfish
i'm sorry that you thought buying me books was better than actually reading them to me
i'm sorry grandma had to do the ***** work for you
i'm sorry that you thought money would be the only way to help her
i'm sorry if you think you've done more for me than her
i'm sorry that 1782 patricia avenue wasn't the ideal household for you
i'm sorry that the coffee color coated sofa  will never mount up to the scent of her bedsheets
i'm sorry that i don't attend the family vacations every weekend to riverview
i'm sorry your last name isn't on her little girls birth certificate considering she calls you daddy like your the only man she knows
i'm sorry she didn't get close with her real dad, i guess i can empathize with her
i'm sorry you missed my first day of kindergarten i would've loved to show you my teacher but she's in the grave now rest in peace ms. rossy
i'm sorry that when you got out i didn't recognize you as i sat on the creeky wooden swing with grandma it's just hard wanting to wrap your arms around a man you never knew
i'm sorry that i remember the long weekends spent at the mayo correctional institution than the long weekends we spent together in dunedin. oh that's right we never spent time together. but we spent money.
i'm sorry that when i heard your dad will pick you up from school the once missing two front teeth cute smile turned into a frown that began to sink into the ground
i'm sorry but being parked in front of the "spot" for two hours made me rather do my homework but my fingers began to shake as the ac blasted creeping its way into every opening of my applebottom clothing
im sorry that mary jane took the spot between your curled lips as she lighted up her smoky fire crisped in your lungs and crinkled your brain cells. who do i kiss good night, if your lips are occupied by rolled paper.
i'm sorry that mayia and i can't give you saturday morning haircuts at the shop like paul
i'm sorry paul don't think i'm mad at you. it's not you. it's never been you.
i'm sorry this face wears rage like an accessory
i'm sorry that you think yelling at mayia is okay. DAD that girl loves you so much she just wants you to pay attention to her. her mom won't give it to her. this little girl shines like christmas lights that i love to hang. she is the brightest thing in our room.
i'm sorry you couldn't see that your second child is giving you a second chance
i'm sorry grandma mayia and i can't give you the world like paul and tika
i'm sorry holly left because i really need her to be the mediator right now
i'm sorry that i thought you could help me with sort laundry i thought it was less work than scrubbing her ***** dishes as your hands pruned in your sickening silver soapy water, but i guess you like working for her
i'm sorry that we never got to have a relationship
i'm sorry it's too late i'm leaving soon
i'm sorry i have to get out of here pinellas county has filled me with a monotonous life style
i'm sorry but it's time to say goodbye to emptiness
i'm sorry that this family has felt broken since april 8th 2000. i guess birthday wishes don't come true
i'm so sorry that i haven't been able to string my broken english together to share this with you until now
i'm sorry you're probably upset and telling me how wrong i am but feelings aren't wrong they are emotions that i've been absorbed in and they are becoming oh so real for you now. take it in. take in the pain i've felt for 17 years. take in the faith i have in you that you can change. take in the love i still have for you. take in the broken heart that's been thrown on the ground way to many times
i'm sorry that i'm not perfect but who would want to be that's overrated
i'm sorry i wish i could've painted you a mural of mend
i'm sorry but mayia and i tried hard to fix things
i'm sorry but she's too scared to tell you she doesn't want to be dragged across the courtney camble after your late shifts on friday nights and maybe she does but it doesn't add up with her messages begging her me to come pick her up. mayia if you want to stay with them that's fine baby. i'm not mad at you. i won't ever be mad at you. i'm mad because even after the struggle with your mom toe let you see us he still ignores you because it seems like he rather have tikas body wrapped around his tatted arms than yours.
i'm sorry paul gave you more than we could ever offer we thought our soccer games could keep you around but then he started playing too. i thought my poetry would fix things but after this poem you're gonna hurt too
im sorry if you thought that was my intention. it's not. it's for you to realize that you have two daughters too
i'm so sorry mayia and i were never good enough for you.