"thinest" poems
You asked if I was going to stay, I nodded,
but I'm just waiting here until your coffee cools,
until your feet go numb from sitting on them
so you have to switch positions, until the letters
magnetized to your fridge stop twisting themselves
into "sorry." Until I feel better about not calling you later.
Last night you asked if I liked Bon Iver,
I nodded, but I only did that in hopes that I could see
what the rest of your bra looked like, because
the strap was barely falling off your shoulder,
and I know you tried to tuck it neatly
under the straps of your dress, but darling,
I want to love you like a disaster. I want to tear
into your skin like your bones are a present,
it's Christmas morning, and I'm that little kid
sitting on the stairs, peaking. I want to line up
my heart with yours like they are those fridge magnets
with the thinest of barriers between them, your chest
a tiny cage that I have the key to, hidden
underneath my tongue. I want to rock you to that song
your telling me is your favorite that I promise
I'm not going to remember the name of. I want your sheets
curled between your toes as you breathe into my neck,
into my mouth, into my brain. I want to use your ribs
like a guitar, stroke them in a rhythm only I know,
only the two of us can hear the sound.
I want to come this close to falling
for you before I have to break free.
You asked if I really had to go, I nodded,
but in my mind I'm leaving you clues:
footprints on your carpet, my belt on the dresser,
my smile as I watched you through
the crack of light between the bathroom door
try to put your hair up ten different times
before you came to bed, just so you can find
my heart between the pillow cases
as I pull my car out of the driveway.
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 8:31 PM UTC
heart permanently broken
tears constantly rolling
creativity consistently flowing
but i don't want this
i had walked away from this
taken the back roads hoping to get lost
so i'd never have to return here
i left no note
or clothes behind
i was gone from here
i know you're wondering why
but even though the fruit is the sweetest
the air is the thinest here
and the juice just aint worth the squeeze
i know plenty that have thrived from here
living a life that was truly derived from here
media loves it
tales from rags to riches
triumph out of the slums and depression and despair
but i didn't want to come back here
here my heart rate slows do to lack of love and happiness
here my eyes swell and are red from forcing out my bitterness
here my mouth utters the most profound words of expression
here i write
not about some roller coaster life
but a constant decline
where i am only anticipating the splat that follows whistling
misery loves company
but i fight it
because to pull you down here
is a crab culture of which i cant participate
i dont want to be here
i dont want to write
but if i discard my pen and paper
then i will only exist here
it will consume me
restrict me from showing love
and creating a smile
it will **** me
so i write
hoping to get to a place where i have nothing to say
a place where i wont need to escape
i allowed you to bring me back here
i walked behind you on a path that i thought would only take me further from here
i gave up my control
covered my eyes
and listened only to your voice
and i followed
and when i know longer could here you speaking i opened my mouth
calling out your name
yelling my regret
voicing my fear
and then i opened my eyes
stained ink on white paper
fighting for each breath
i was here again
Oct 18, 2012
Oct 18, 2012 at 12:31 PM UTC
Layer upon layer upon layer
Oh but the thinest of veneers
Each one a story, a painting
Covering the entire subject
Each allowing sight of what came before
But not clear
Each new layer distorts the one before
Yet they become homogenized
Merging to form the whole yet some features,
Not all more evident remain
And with it's flaws our shell is formed
A memory of our pasts
An armour with kinks
The shell of a man
Jul 20, 2013
Jul 20, 2013 at 8:17 PM UTC
You know not the measure
of my now broken heart
your ignorance astounds me
vapor
I disappeared as if
into the thinest of air
maybe you would have commented
had you realised I was even there
gone but for a moment
yet forgotten long before
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 6:15 PM UTC
There is a line
the thinest hair of difference
between heartbreak and euphoria
Like the border that splits
two countries
that are constantly at war
But they say, you can still respect those
whom you are fighting
There's admiration
even in the face of its contradictions
There are realms
i feel i pass through
often daily
often a tender struggle
between where I am and where I'm not
A prophet once said
that the thought of paradise is paradise itself
Well I guess i don't possess
a great imagination
Dec 19, 2012
Dec 19, 2012 at 3:32 PM UTC
A smirk in the dark sipping the imaginary green tea of cleanse night.
Staggered, I fall backwards satisfied with my own senseless tongue
As fingers drop and slightly touch the thinest layer of dust.
Stars unseen but I imagine them perfectly smilling towards my eager to please the moon.
She laughs at my desperation to burn and leaves me staring at the empty wind.
I forgot to close the window and it's already 4 a.m.
May 30, 2017
May 30, 2017 at 8:12 PM UTC