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Mateuš Conrad Feb 2017
chór! i duch!
               blady... rym...
ale i też wygoda powrotu
jako niby żyd... bo
te paluski... i ten *lajkonik
...
kiev w warszawie... na
tym tle: bo to gwar gadania
i autobus w pizdzie nocy i
zimy... ceka... ceka.

   o bodziem...
  punk kot w czekam
i czoło i glebe i rys islamu,
   i szkło skalu w czaszke
i gołote... i ten... pierdolony kosciół!
goły... naked...
         the cat weighs about 10 kilograms
i'm obviously going to head-**** him
to say good morning...

rrrrrryb ah! koscioł! groto i smród!
rekąpis!                   ryba! flu flu flu!
oj tu: pingwin sie zgina! huj! bra!
   tu! zeżre te polsche... te polsche...
zerwie z nią... bo co?
jakie narodziny mam, "celebrować"?
ja na typ o motłoch? baba?!
taki typ by na miet i slóp -czysłav?!
pats! prostak z... miasta...
  chleba mało... tsa zebrać...
seplień seplień se o se: nago
      i choroba... gniew... grób;
padaj! jak gwóźdz w trumne
czy tam gówno w toalete...
       tsa u... tu com sa, tam com sa...
ja na wygnań!
        ja wygnany, co mi te poloki?
półtłoki? boli, nie? zyh poza granicą,
tam, dam ci kwit i... kćuka!
                 kćuka! na witaj huju!
potem -senką: za casów Herod'a...
  co sfe: pio... senką; taki tanz: oi! ola ola o!

taki zemnie polok, jaki ten
pierw żyd, co pyta:
  
  pytam... bo czekam...

(choir and [the] ghost).

    warto pytać, oto wiem że o nic nie czekam
(nie czekam o nic... po? nie czekam o nic...
po prostu czekam; tak tak, nic nici nić nitka nikt;
kurvfa shoelaces... you ******* deaf
or watching kochaj albo rzuć?       );
tym warte pytać of -zyk-
kiedy nie w... kraju...  or-zelek... or-zelek...
              taki kwaśniewski co tylko sepleni...
blah blah blah... potem na gniew
vay vest vey kal it a p-cle... susumber: or cueue...
         oi oi! wrona! hej! wrona!              co tam?!
eh, ten rojs siber tesz popierdolony...
rrrrreeee lee, wrona! co tam?
o kurva... terz troche... mmm uhum... mm... eh?
   is bez powrotu... taki... niby...
dobry fason i wybór słów
    jako dobry wójek... po glebie jak po
grzbiecie psa
...
ah ten pysk.... taki dobry pies
mógł być, a potem, nagle, naturalnie:
wściek! pyska... harem! harem!
         harem! grypa! grypa! ugh!
                                golem!
    co tam wyrośnie, to tam nigdy nie było...
ani cebula co płacze, ani
           burak któremu zęby
   wypadają...
      oś? czy... osa? i z tym językiem
bez tego języka gwarancji?
            taki jam obcy...
   ja nawet obcy gadać obcym... do perfekcji...
jaki to musi być nud... aby było
              jak to musi być, skoro jest?
    last time i checked... pretty **** awful.
Max Neumann Jun 2021
1.) tizzop introduced gangsta poetry february 2021
     no man ever before created a poetry genre alike
     gangsta poetry, robust melting *** of languages
     and ethnicities, as it reflects the united states

2.) the idols of gangsta poetry are rooted in the
      underworld, blacks, hispanics, italo- and irish-
      americans, asians, arabs, germans, kurds,
      yugos, albanians, afghans, northern-africans...

3.) multilingual are the core, heart and soul of
     a gangsta poem: glockz, rubix cubies, 31er
     salam, jebeš igru, habibis, brüder, fo' sho':
     rapid months, frozen silverfruit, whole ones

4.) every letter of gangsta poetry becomes the
     side effects of our brand's real-life greed and fury
      mourning the end of beloved baby mommas
      deaths caused by strayed bullets that vamoose

5.) gangsta poetry aims to be published among
      all ethnic communities of the 50 united states
      deadline 08/16/21 stresses american willpower
      gangsta poetry scandalously hits us's curriculas

6.) each of the 194 remaining countries is urged
     to promote and govern gangsta poetry for
     the neglected, weighted with glacial contempt
     these males and females discover their kind in us

7.) tizzop established a saying: "treat every being  
     with an open mind, but fight back, baby, if anyone
     disrespects you, the gps, or our hangarounds"
     at war, we remember our families before we blast

8.) bar none, each gangsta poet is free to connect
      affiliate and distribute with and for the gp's
      brothas and sistas -- gps create examples of
      social diversity and historical dimensions

9.) female gangsta poets are a quarter of us
      some keep it gal, united sisterhood, astute flow
      in memory of leery leyla, chalondra, kateyy,
      mountainbird, ivanka cociç, ashima abraham

10.) genderfree, gangsta poets are chosen
        undertakings composed by thugs & artists
        the spirit of a few meets strife of hood speech
        gp evolved from a movement to an own identity

11.) restrictions do not apply for written creation
        strategic outgrowth and unshaken cash flow
        gp embraces brainy ones, and our soldiers
        narrators in conspiracy, art nouveau trips

12.) gangsta poetry admires the following people:
        jeezy, killa cam, toni der assi, iron sal, dmx
        anton chigurh, sigmund freud, rashid stoogie
        larry hoover, elliot york hp, kevin of allpoetry

13.) taktloss, luis fonsi, blockmonsta, all bolivian
        and peruvian farmers, te amamos, our brothers
        187 strassenbande, senion mogilevich, nirvana
        john murphy, dem dudes alpha hotel frankfurt

14.) much love to all global units, poets, thieves
        traffic architects, hackers, true skippos
        german bakeries, all-black betting shops
        jews from brighton beach, hispanic halos

15.) benny da bandit, tony tarantula, gambino, brate
        hamza al-mighty, fat **** frank, jens, das brain
        fred merciless, familia escorpio, ruben and levi
        ali firefists, kimbo slice, scarface, oleksiy, dejan

16.) daim, loomit, dns 1up, **** my **** crew
        berlin kreuzberg 36ers, playboys hannover
        yard bird 1955, taki 183 n.y.c., basquiat, level
        dbl ffm-skychildren, bomber, city mission
    
17.) gangsta poetry overwhelmingly shaped by
       our ancestors who boosted the poetry of ages
       train bombers, rappers, trappers, taggers, cutters
       we descent from them, honor their names

18.) gangsta poets die for poems that struck
        gps, fans and critics in a possessive way
        limits of real talk and boasting are in flux
        trance batters the face of reason, at dusk


                                          *


Once upon a time at March 22nd, 2021
Kreuzberg SO 36, Berlin, Germany...
Dedicated to all Gangsta Poets Worldwide

Heaven and hell yeah, disciples outpace seconds
Greetings from Wondaland, a.k.a. The Magic City
***  GANGSTAPOETRY  ***  
                      ***  48 SOULS  *** 
                        

                GANGSTAPOETS:

*  TIZZOP  *  FAMILIA ESCORPIO: SOLDADO ADELITA, ALEJANDRO, THE PROTECTOR & DIEGO, THE TEACHER  *  JEEZY  *  CHALONDRA  *  DMX  *  MOUNTAINBIRD  *  ECCO2K  *  IVANKA COCIÇ  *  KIMBO SLICE  *  LEVY & SOLOMON  *  JORDANOS  *
***  EDEN & NICHOLAS  ***         


               GANGSTAPOETS:


*  TAKTLOSS  *  ASHIMA ABRAHAM  *
*  MERCILESS FREDDY  *  OLEKSIY  *
*  STORMZY  *  LEERY LEYLA  *  ALI
FIREFISTS  *  SIGMUND FREUD  *  FALCO 
*  ANNE CLARK  *  DOMINIQUE NORTHSTAR  *  POOR / THCO  * 
*  1UP CREW  *  CITY MISSION  *  ZORIN  *
*  CHRIS R.



                  GANGSTAPOETS:

*  FREEMAN AND K-RHYME LE ROI  * 
*  FRUMPY  *  ASSI-TONI  **  LUDOVICO EINAUDI  *  HAMZA AL-MIGHTY  *  TONY
TARANTULA  *  KATEYY  *  LOOMIT  * 
*  FAT **** FRANK  **  ANTON CHIGURGH  *  ROSARIO DE LIMA  *  CELLAR FIREFLY  *  LARRY HOOVER  *
*  LUIS FONSI  *  JONATHAN HABESHA OF ALPHAHOTEL WONDALAND  *
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
i.

my writing is truly one thing, my life another - not
that's a statement clouded in excuses and guilt:
just the claustrophobic macabre -
and so it happens, that every few days i reach
the limit with wrestling the Minotaur -
the time comes when the liver k.o.s the brain
and the brain then starts punching the liver -
it usually stars in the afternoon, e.g. yesterday,
at 3 in the afternoon, a burrowed sense of guilt
comes over, cigarettes are rolled and chain-smoked...
a promise of not painting the front of
the house is the overpowering weight on the heart -
as is an ably bodied father: who, i might
as the source of my writing capacity: the silence -
but the day flows through... the excess nicotine
adds to the shakes, the detox period begins
with a big meal: chinese pork belly in five spice
and other additives, peppers, spring onions
until a thick goo sauce is cooked slowly to thicken...
served with 'it's called egg fly lice, you plick!'
(Uncle Benny, lethal weapon 4) -
the meal is ate as if a ****** ****** - this is
really the point of critically approaching the
concentrated detox - binge of television,
drinking orange squash and smoking -
playing some stupid video game between watching
an even worse movie - before the saga of
x files begins... at 5 a.m. with the most annoying
feline opera by the most annoying ginger cat
begins... the shades are drawn and the hours between
5 a.m. are spent in a quasi somatic state -
the pain in the brain is too strong to allow you
a kipper without the sedative being dragged from
the body: taking sleeping is avoided -
the blinds in the room don't have blackout plastic,
by 6 a.m. a t-shirt is rolled up and put against
the eyes, the eyes adjust to the light until 7 a.m.,
the body gets up and goes downstairs for more
orange squash, but this time breakfast is stomached,
yesterday's leftover rice, fresh eggs scrambled
and mixed with spring onion -
                                                     cigarette, and a daytime
news channel - Victoria Derbyshire -
the main topic of concerns? only 12% of Paraolympic
Rio tickets have been sold, a charity having raised
about £25,000 wants to sponsor Rio's children
to join in the fun... housing shortages in England,
Redbridge council buying social housing in
Canterbury (once a military base) - 7 people living
in one room (the Romanian standard is
14... you have to remember night shifts) -
oh i seen houses like that, i remember one Jew renting
out his house to 20 / 30 Poles before the Union
expanded... paid of his mortgage... no new reality
here for me... the major misdiagnosis of heart attacks
in women on the N.H.S.: a woman ate a curry,
thought it was only a heartburn... boom, two days
later drops in agony... in between the real
results of the detox... sitting...
not ******* out whiskey yellow ***** when there
are barely any toxins in the body... diarrhoea...
up to about 8 times on the toilet - more orange squash,
more cigarettes... then onto the piece the resistance...
the x files... which last up to about the twilight zone
hour of having reached the 24 hour mark of being
awake... one last **** and then shower, and
then doing the laundry (on a sunny day like this,
it would be a shame not to)...
                                                   at noon
tinned mackerel in sunflower oil... brown bread,
all the oil drank... but by the twilight zone hour
a realisation: ****! my headphones are broken!
i've been walking around these streets with those
very depressing sounds of vrroom vrroom...
i know how the old complain about the youth
and their headphones... yes, but you probably
grew with about 10 cars per hour passing your
house back in the day... and too the birds could
be beautiful, and the sound of children's games
and golden laughter... but all the other sounds...
so off to the shop for a very respectable £1.50 pair...
and then the moment when all the sights
on the streets are no longer synchronised with
what i'm hearing, my eyes sharpen and i dance
past the cars and people never bothering to press
the crossing lights on streets: ease the traffic,
ease the traffic... then into the supermarket and
the detox ends... i can go back to sleeping a decent
night... a bottle of Stella... the only thing sexier
on a hot summer's day on the street... good old,
good cold Stella Artois...
then up to another shop for two more beers and
tobacco...
                        after that? magic...
as the title suggests: on a park bench with Ernie -
something more grand than Beckett's waiting
for Godot
... i.e. something resembling a scene from
Patriarch's Ponds, an encounter with
Mikhail Alexandrovich Berlioz (editor of a highbrow
literary magazine, abbreviated MASSOLIT)
and a young poet Ivan Nikolayich Poniryov -
a few clues to the less knowledgeable parties:
Behemoth ***** and chess, a book that makes
sense of the world interrupted by Herr Woland's
wonderful delights (among many), such
as the notable pandemonium at Ivan Savelyevich
Varenukha's Variety Theatre -
yes very much akin to Hector B.'s:
symphonie fantastique: dream of a witches' sabbath.

ii.

sincerest apologies... the sedative hasn't been bought
yet, and a patient father's invoice for work
done on the construction must be written in tangible
English - in ref. to the uttermost sincerity -
Polski nadal w mej duszy dudni,
                            taki ogrom organów i
                                         bębnów twki -
           że strach pomyślec - czy to wir zamkniętej
historii ludu: czy poczatek gorszych prwad o świecie?
   bo co o zamkniętej historii (skrawku) ludu?
      to przeciez moj dziad'ek w Partii uslugi dawal!
      a kraj podziekowal - i co Prawda to Walesa
   na Florydzie z lwa w zlota rybke sie zamienil.
   (comp. diacritic
                                                       ­                                 pending)

iii.

as i knew, i should have finished this poem on
the principle of ensō - all in one piece -
thus i would have staged what happened on the bench
with Ernest -
                        but after walking to the supermarket
minding my own business and the jokes ensued
about how no one notices, how they know my name
as it's their mascot -
                                   after walking into a world
i found chaos; indeed if i wrote the poem on principle
of ensō, i would have included the phantasmagorical
details of something so simple you could almost cry at it...
the simplicity of it, the fluidity of almost 2 hours
spent in conversation... about what? i'm not telling,
and how was it spoken? i'm not telling either -
let's just they laughed at Ernest's bike, because
it was proper oldie...
                                     i mean, i won't mention the odd
details, but the essence? forget it man!
after writing my father's invoice, and how cut money
on the construction site, blame it Romanians but only
have themselves to blame with their model
of profiteering and that ****** fetish they have
Che's socialism of guerrilla warfare...
                            and the comments in the supermarket,
it just stuck with me about Ernie's bike,
nothing in comparison to the Tour de France's racers
doing up to 50kmh...
                                      it just made me happy to make
a clean bed... and prevent 36 hours awake threshold
glitches of abstraction: black strings and random
square objects popping out of nothing with me in a
variation of nervous startles... Ernest's bike?
an antique, a 1950s Raleigh...
- hard leather seat beneath that modern overcoat?
- yes; no one would even take it if i left it
  outside a shop, they'd probably sell it for parts.
- well, unless someone is smart enough to notice
  a vintage, and tries to restore it,
  buy the vintage green paint and cover the rusty bits.
oh **** it, i can't keep my own company to suit
being happy by saying: ooh, doesn't know a joke,
the happiest he felt after walking out with a stone heart
was making a bed... but to be honest?
psst... i haven't made it in over a month... last night i
was getting cold-heat shivers in the idea of it being *****
enough though i shower everyday... ok, every other day
sometimes, my socks have holes in them, and my
shoes are ripped.
but there's more to this... the bicycle is a pun
of a Heidegger maxim: man is born as many men...
but dies as a single man... imagine how many
influences are entombed in us, the education reformers
to begin with, motherhood tips, cot deaths...
but we die as individual men... so when Ernest said
about the bicycle being only worth spare parts,
i said what Heidegger meant: but i'd take the whole thing
as one.
- how many gears?
- three at the back, one at the front; you see this thing?
- the long tube beneath the seat?
- yeah, when charged it would power up the front
   and back lights.
- oh, i'm used to seeing that thingy-madgit that you'd
   press against the front tire and the principle would be
   the same.
- a dynamo.
- yeah, a dynamo, forgot the name of it.
it started so innocently, i just sat on the bench with my
earphones and two beers and started rolling a cigarette.
- may i invade the bench?
                                               (earphones out of the ears)
- sure.
                and we just sat there, i asking if he minded me
smoking.
- i used to, loved it, esp. after dinner, gave it up 15 years ago.
  then conversations about dogs, family,
                                         and children's games,
          i said
- i'm finding it hard to find people of my generation with
even friendly dynamic of the body: eye contact is gone!
- it's all the fidgeting on those ****** tablets and phones,
when we were kids we used to play marbles,
conkers, hopscotch, so many...
- and we used to draw a racing maze, fill bottle caps
with plasticine and flick them through the maze
(i can't remember if we threw dice to see how many
moves we could make).
  by the time we started talking about the dogs we liked,
and compared them to the dog walkers passing us
   we already forgot who died today: it was Gene Wilder...
the world is mourning him, and we sat there
and the best i could come up with was Richard Pryor.
- dumb animal luck...
- you know how i managed to train my dog to run
  around the park, but come back to me? i used a whistle
  to get the dog to come back and i'd give it a treat.
  until it got the hang of it, i sometimes wouldn't give it
  a treat... other times i would, the point being was
  to teach it both obedience when nothing was given
  and double obedience when something was.
- ever heard of Pavlov? he basically did the same thing,
  but your experiment had coordinates, it was three-dimensional,
  Pavlov's was just two-dimensional, instead of a whistle
  he used a bell... just to stimulate two senses
  as coordinated, the sound of a bell created saliva
  in the dog's mouth, poor dog received treats
  but in the end Pavlov put him in a car with closed
  windows in the middle of summer outside
  of Parliament square; obviously the dog died.
- German shepherd though... i had a friend, naturally
  obedient.
- could walk a German shepherd through Manhattan
  without a leash.
- exactly, not even half a metre away, and when the
  master stops, the dog stops.
(i started thinking, what a great way to invert theology,
in this way from dogs to gods.)
well... i guess there was more, but if i write more
about it, when i'll reflect upon this chance meeting of
complete strangers as more insightful than it
already was...
                         he managed to climb back on his bike
with a slight problem after his hip-replacement
operation... at 74 such things break... and he rode off
and i sat there trying to think about what the hell
i was thinking after watching the x files to find
something insightful...
                                        well, i got one thing,
i mentioned it before... i could never have believed
that adults created the most nightmarish version
of hide (negate) & seek (doubt) -
                   i thought it was just as bad as
  truth & dare with religion - with that motto:
          the Koran: this is the truth, and the only truth...
so truth or dare? i dare you to deny it!
                    can i just doubt it? you know, not be
a definite unbeliever, but an indefinite quasi-believer?
well doubt in the stated quasi-believer is wavering,
isn't it? the two of the most beautiful games of
innocence, morphed into these gargantuan abominations.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
the night i found a woodland pigeons roosting
on my guttering, tried to catch it given
the maxim: better a robin in your hand,
than a dove on your roof, but failed, and
to my surprise, felt no feeling of failure,
nothing competitive, and the world needs this
at this moment, the shattering of the clocks,
for a moment, to hold your breath and take
snapshots of the world as if drowning -
with a held breath, and ninja gymnastics
slowly edging toward the pigeon perched
in the guttering... do people understand that
poetry isn't about competing in the Olympics?
you can't laurel crown a poet of ability
among others, just like you can't discourage others
from the freedom to write it, however ridden with
orthodox methodology, or however concerned
with the purity of a narrative...  nor can you
have poetic prodigies - poetry takes time,
it takes fermentation, it's not one of those first
come first served allocations of ability...
it takes years, experience, i'm not talking about
a viola player in an orchestra, reduced to
muscle work, sure, you can be the muscular equivalent
of a viola player in an orchestra in poetry,
that's the easy part, tweak a few things in your
imitation and we're set to go... you'll be known
as pseudo-Plato or some other grand name...
you can't become a prodigious poet, i.e. if your
mother or father was a poet... this is the only
place where Sartre's existence precedes essence
takes form, elsewhere it doesn't,
the most evident i.e. is time flies when you're
having fun
- the presupposed essence of time
defines the supposition of having fun and
the non-existence of time - the two together are
what's required of a proposition taking form -
fiddling with the prefix doesn't concern anyone that
much, i.e. a preposition is lodged between
the presupposition (preposition) and supposition -
as i said before, systematisation is a method of
economising vocabulary - a boa constriction, a restraint,
imagine yourself being a pauper while writing out
lavish decking, chairs, marble toilets and gold-gilded
toilet seats, tacky stuff according to the failing
of the concept of money, once gained: to lavish out
on things, to keep the merchant class constantly busy
and adaptable - what with the Koranic procedures
we can be assured that there will be a constant
confidence in producing, selling, exchanging,
or the tonne of food thrown out because it didn't sell.
like growing vegetables, you probably ingest
5 nutritious poems a day, the rest you throw out...
you take a fat poem, a protein poem, whatever,
there's always a variation on what poem fills
the carbohydrate allowance, but the rest is thrown out...
a thinking man's poem is fibrous, that means:
slow on digestion, reminding, an agitating gnat
or mosquito; but it truly is a case of having to be
an entertaining narrator, without character study -
or character concern - in that i lend myself
to the poetic practice of ensō - one smooth stroke
and the narrative is finished - also a culminating point
of worth consideration, name revelation 13 -
and the suggestion: what the contemporary affairs
would also suggest -
it's kinda funny when you think about it...
isn't the beast from the sea Moses and the beast
from the earth Jesus?
early Christianity probably wasn't prone to iconoclasm,
only when it reached popularity this
iconoclasm play a key role...
but what does John actually write?
in our modern tongue? Moses (the dragon) and
Jesus (the beast), as stated in the tale:
the transfiguration, or the shifting of power -
who is able to make war against the beast?
the Antichrist (some words have been kept in
straitjackets, use them, they either think you're
mad, or religiously psychotic, under-use them
and they fall into the wrong hands... bit of a juggle,
but coming from a religious school education,
i'd keep such words categorised in controversy
as euthanasia and abortion); so unto the beast...
a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies
(sermon on the mount), and the deadly wound was
healed (the crown of myrrh, and the resurrection),
and they worshipped the dragon and they
worshipped the beast - many do still preserve
"tact" of kneeling before an icon, esp. in orthodox
tradition... and the blasphemies,
well, i'm not sure Jesus was crucified for nothing...
see how people can make you look silly when you
use parts of their vocabulary? you write Jesus
and immediately you can't think of an Eddie Izzard
sketch... you're trapped with how other people
over-use certain words, keep them "sacred" in order
that they might be treated as sustenance...
some people write the word tomato or potato and
get a meal out of it, others write Jesus and they
win the ******* lottery with their flock of goody-two-shoes
fanning their ***** in packed churches in the Bible Belt.
then there's John doing a bit of Spartacus -
if any man have an ear, let him hear -
by the way hunter s. thompson was keen to study this
book too... he that leads into captivity...
and when did i not felt being captive under Christianity?
they catch you early on, get you educated in *******
and then release you into the world as mince meat;
it's all a fatal exercise in / of metaphor -
i'm not surprised rushed toward the book of Genesis
for a stability of thought, trying to
write an equivalent of Paradise Lost, i.e. Paradise
Regained
basing it solely on the book of Revelation
with is complex use of metaphors would drive
anyone mad... so far i'm stumbling, we have
the dragon giving power to the beast of the sea
(Jesus' harem of nuns, water, juiced up *****)
and then we have the beast of the earth -
then there's the many deceptions or "miracles"
that Jesus did - any magician will gladly succumb,
altogether the purposes of any image,
not a statue, but an image, basically a sphinx on paper,
how ancient worship of statues and building them
turned into a worship of oil-on-canvas...
from 3D into 2D... by the time we reach 1D we are
talking the big bang... oh, right... we're talking
about the origins of the universe already...
i'll test you: compose me a Milton-like poem working
from the book of revelation and never touching on
the book of Genesis - let's face it, the only poetically
riddled book of the New Testament is the book
of Revelation... and it truly is a ****-up for any poet
to consider... easier to be a novelist and joke
at the bible being accessible in every motel room
across America... such books are agitators,
they're implants, something you get rid off in your
spare time, bite out the access of such books to your mind
like a dog with rabies... praying:
just so i don't have to wear the Golgotha geometry,
just so i don't have to wear the Golgotha geometry...
in summary? to me the dragon is Moses
(every Greek would side with the Egyptians given
Alexandria and whatnot), armed with all the physics
bending plagues (yes, i think they're true,
Darwinism is no better at their myth of Tarzan,
given we're watching sprinting 100 metres in under
10 seconds, everything starts to look ridiculous given that),
yes, both assumptions are quiet honestly absurd,
it just depends where you want to begin with:
the clash of fur versus tanned buttocks,
or the clash between female genital mutilation
versus male genital mutilation...
i told you, i am circumcised during ***, i roll the *******
back, and hey pesto! a helmet!
i think i better change the concept of enso into
a concept of the waterfall, just for the exotica (but there's
no exotica in globalisation, it's hard keeping
history and learning to get together without
some part of us rebelling to rekindle ancient wrestling),
aha! taki! can you imagine what would have been
if the Egyptians were able to keep their ideograms?
they wouldn't ever have kept them to see them off
on the evolutionary sprint to success, they weren't
using matchsticks like the Chinese were using
and kept on using, waiting for numbers to prop up
and tell you Hong Kong was 1 million light years away
from Beijing... because it was all d'uh to them
and the Mongolian harmonica imitation of the steppe
idiot laughing at a horse taking a **** like
a male dog taking a ****, giddy up on the leg over.
i'm well surprised the Chinese ideogram is alive...
it's a source for many ideas, without me even wanting to
travel there... they built the great wall of China with their
ideograms, the wall itself was unnecessary to protect
the people from Mongolian optometrists...
that's the key in Chinese, using matchsticks the sounds
are pretty much basic: Xi Lung Chi - or Chang Chewy Lo,
pretty crap, isn't it? i agree, their strength comes
best expressed by their proficiency in less matchsticks
included in the Jenga of 1, 2, 3, i mean the bendy bits,
we Europeans have to first remember the aesthetic,
then the dyslexia antidote to get our ideas out and into
the open, for the Chinese every ideogram is
not a letter but another bright new idea... eo or ea-,
whatever... 1 billion of them content with the scraps
of individuation waiting for them... with us it's
about conquering the world, but our **** doesn't sell
in Mongolia... when was the last time
you picked up a newspaper and read news from
Mongolia? the 13th century and Genghis Khan?
probably. god, feels great to unwind without
paying too much attention on the book of revelation,
every time i muster the strength to consider
religious topics i immediately feel i'm claustrophobic
and want to get out...
that book is still but a fatal exercise in metaphor -
it's overly-poetic, the book of Genesis is full of
princely imagery, but the book of Revelation
is not compatible with imagery, a garden and three
characters makes imagining it far more easily
than the three characters in the book of Revelation
on a beach... when i think of a garden i think
of vineyards and pear orchards, i.e. wine and cider -
when i think of the beach i only think of
hot dog selfies of a girl's tanned legs... and that
ain't helping... and why people vacate on beach
resorts but are scared of swimming in the sea,
and only want the sea as a canvas when swimming
in the hotel swimming pool.
Peter Balkus Sep 2017
Spotkania o pracę,
na które nie przyszedłem,
było ich trochę.

Mówiłem: Tak, tak,
przyjdę, jutro o dziewiątej,
sto procent.
I nie poszedłem. Jaka szkoda!

Byłem gotowy wieczorem,
wcześnie poszedłem spać,
by wstać świeży.
Ale nie wstałem na czas.
I nawet teraz, gdy o tym mówię,
wciąż trudno mi w to uwierzyć.

Puste było krzesło
w biurze, gdzie już na mnie czekał
manager,
ubrany w garnitur,
z papierami do wypełnienia.
Wciąż tam czekają
na podpisanie,
nie wiedząc, że nigdy nie będą przeze mnie
podpisane.

Wciąż tam siedzi,
manager, którego nigdy nie miałem przyjemności spotkać
i uścisnąć jego dłoni,
wymienić uśmiechów.

Spotkania o pracę, na które nie poszedłem,
bo były albo za wcześnie,
albo za późno.
Ominąłem mój los.
Taki widać los.
Sahil Sharma Aug 2018
Aaj achanak hi kyu azadi k din hume apne mulk ki itni yaad aayi
Jb kurbaan hue jawan sarhad pe,tb kyu nhi aankho me nami aayi

Zara dil se b izzat kr lo mere yaaro, kyuki ye zameen h hum sabki
Kuch nahi le jao ge sath apne, milni h ess me hi raakh hum sabki

Koi loot raha h gareeb ki jaeb, koi kr raha h bezuba awaam se faraeb
Umeed h kashmir me aman hoga,toh aur b meethe hoge waha k saeb

Jo saha h dard in kisaano ne, umeed h unka ye dard tumhe b mehsoos **
Daer raat in anderi galliyo se guzrti har beti har maa ki raah mehfooz **

Mazboot kr lo apne rishto ko,inpe h nigah kbhi mazhab ki kbhi siyasat ki
Na rang se pehchan ** na hi adoore ang se,ek si taraki ** har ek riyasat ki

Rishwat gareebi khudgarzi aur na jaane kitne h es mulk ko lge marz
Kbhi fursat hui toh janne ki koshish krna kitne h es maa k tumpe karz

Har bache ko ilm ** es janoon ka,taki ye kamyaabi k kadam ruk na paye
Bss ik ehsaan krna khud pe,ki teri kisi harqat se kehi iska ser juk na jaye

Dhua bss yehi h ki aane wali koi b nasal kabhi na ruksat ** es fitoor se
Chand taaro pe chle b gye agr phir b krte rehna sada salam waha door se
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2017
regarding the link? róże europy - kości czerwone, kości czarne (roses of europe - red bones, black bones) http://tinyurl.com/y7fzt6qq... lyrics?

   adolf ****** i benito mussolini
józef stalin i franciszek franco
mieli narody między nogami
a one na zgodę kiwały głowami
pan proszę pana też chce być taki
taki potężny i taki bogaty
lecz pan proszę pana chyba oszalał
lecz pan proszę pana chyba oszalał!

adolph ****** & benito mussolini
joseph stalin & francisco franko
had nations (clenched) between their legs
and they (nations) nodded with approval
sir, i plead to you sir, that i too want to
                                  be like them,
so grandiose & so wealthy
but kind sir, you must have become insane,
but kind sir, you must have become insane!

when was the last time, that i went
to a house party where
people played decent music,
and by decent, i mean unusual?
a nostalgia fest
of elvis, where the party attendees
would clap along to
   blue suede shoes?
                     or uh-hum oh ooh
                          to *all shook up
?!
  a magical moment it would seem,
where a need for conversation
becomes obsolete,
      a neanderthal typo...
   or whams'! wake me up before you
go-go...
              i can't remember when
that last happened -
       when people forgot the civil accords
of conversation at a party...
    talk + party = neanderthal...
     if you're not ******* each other
silly, or at least having a collective
karaoke spectacle... it's no party...
       it's covert parliamentarism
                        in action...
and who the **** wants that after
a few stiffies (strong drinks)?
no one!
            i remember my 21st up
in edinburgh, the focal point came
with the song
             silk by the group
                          roses of europe -
   róże europy - jedwab:
my then russian girlfriend was intimated
by a large crowd of poles...
  sulking and rolling spliffs in
the bedroom, moaning about
how good of a host i was...
   i even mopped up *****
from the carpet
  when my high-school friend
       puked waiting for the toilet...
but i can't really remember going
to a part, that actually was a party;
and yes, that song got
the girls singing with the loveliest
of echoes of the song in flesh.
inggo May 2016
by Erik, Taki and Angge*

i really wanted to stay
​but i have all the reasons to walk away

​i did everything so there'd be no doubt
​but i didn't expect a fall out

​i thought i'd start breaking
​when you stopped me from leaving

​but how can i love
​when i don't love?

​i'm sorry, it hurts, i know,
​but it's time for me to go
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2017
nagłon a ja lupa i ja
wgard... i mokra, ja,
Moskiev... koszule mokre....
na gawron... ja płacz...
i w noc, i w czar ten tło ka ka
a raczej w tło lupy iskr...
tak... bliżej.. dalej... bliżej! dalej!

ale ja Moskiev, i oto oi na wojne,
to warte: ęć - ha ha warte ojca,
i tego, i wolne, it warte watrę...
cię, you... or what was said
to be evil... a night spent in Warsaw,
or a night i never wished i had spent...

wedle barw...
na tło... o tu huja se ma!
ty mi nie centurion
deutsche!
  hałk i lombard ego!
prawie żyd, prawie taki owy pan...
niech mnie gnat i gwałt taki
obezwładni: czyli ten,
który, kto nigdy tam
  nie raczył znaczyć wprot: list.

oj ubogi, oj ubogi, ty.

ss-man, nein!
death to ****! life! ****,
not in america... bored from life...
smooch the two of
equal strand!
ya, deutsche!
as ire stupid, came to lay claim...
dumb irish are ready to join
islam, and make a bomb...
as the dumb irish are ready to do.
boo and readier with boom!

boom!
lost the concern for a shamrock
dance.

how i wish to forget having the capacity
to speak english...
ugh...
    how i wish to forget it...
it's so crisp, so pristine...
so worth being unfathomable.
Mateuš Conrad May 2016
pije! kurwa pije! co mi
wiepsz prawdy w twym chyba niby? ?
jak masz dziecko i przypisz rękopis
w grze.... kurwa! po co mi taki bachor!?
ja nigdy z nim w ramach ojcem! spierdu du du;
na wal równych w droge kończeń koni,
aby ludzkiej myśli począć zaraz! prawde snu
w obudzenie jako dalszym snem w obietnice spełnione!
o karo! o karo! o karo jednego uścisku ust! o karo!
krucjato! o karo! od tej ja szeptem myśli wołam:
wolności mi trza! i tak od niej uciekam, bo nagle repliki
mi nie trza skrobać w ogień! lecz ogień skrobie i
proch wkoło - tyłem posąg, a przodem duch?! nie
duch, lecz szept, niby myśl, to pierw nie zmuszone
impromptu - a nie zmuszone bo, posąg warty kolan
i modlitw - i ta wyryta droga ku ozora
ślimaków, w kieszeni nagle w dal oddać
znany obszar wachaniem ręki jakby pisać, owszem:
                zapomnieć o tym co w świecie było,
              jest,                        i będzie.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2015
czytając filozofie po polsku, ojciec mój który wyrósł na chemika obudził dziecie, a dziecie pochłoneło ojca mówiąc: od teraz zaczne, carpe annum, carpe zenith ex tempus, filozofia z logiki czy to z rzeczy rosnących - i w garści magika które wzamian za słowa hocus pocus wymawiane są słowa jan nowak urodzony czwartego kwietnia roku 1912 / zmarł rokiem 1973; czy to z rzeczy stabilnych w sensie inspectio ex continuum, czy też na skali micro (atomów), czy też macro (gwiazd); to ja wydam wartości nie-czytne mym ozorem, abyś ty zerknoł na to co jest warte czytania - obudź mnie w ciele ośmio latka twym ciałem dwudziesto latka... bo sam wiesz że przez tyle lat, nic cie nie nauczono -nawet ten bat i ta dysciplina nie wzruszyła cie aby zgodzić się na kawe przy domu pogrzebowym wraz z myślą: jaki to ma być, ten nowy samochód? z dala - ‘taki aby i trumna też mogła zapiąć pasy.’*

zza młodu dziad powiada wnukowi: matematyka, fizyka i sport...
przed dziada rokiem młody odpowiada:
chłód zimy, spacer i myśl;
kocham obiekt zwany kobieta... lecz nie temat...
mój sam bardziej wypełnia sześć kątów niż jej obecność zmartwień,
co jest jakby gra przegrana, więź tematyki mniej
jako wąż a bardziej jak glizda...
lecz chodząc miedzy kratami i domami anglii dostatku...
widze więcej glizd niż kobr czy też pytonów...
skoro geneza słowa jest brana od onomatopeji imitacji bydła,
nic dziwnego że my tesz na bydło zeszli
biorąc teorie lingwistyki darwina przez ch i es -
nic dziwnego że nie jego,
ale czemu brać pod uwage słowem: jak się widzi
kogoś pukającego w dzrwi w tle “słów”
jakby nie jeden knock-knock żart, więcej limit
tego że z nie animowanych rzeczy nic mądrego nie przyjdzie -
tym bardziej dodając do słownika -
jeno ta pierwsza lekcja zagrożenia małpy bez drzewa
z tym pyskaczem wężem, czyż nie?
jaki jest sens utkwić nową lekcje od rzeczy samych
niewinnych swoją interakcją z cieniem lecz bez machania...
jakie zagrożenie od nich? ah wiem, jeno arachnofobia wedle
kamyka rozmiarem ciągu gór mienia: tatry.
więc szkeliet tego boga zwany: komunikat - przez poetów
wyzwany na igrek i mieszanke czasu w pralce
czystości pomieszany: czerń i biel nada szary -
aby zerknąć w igły dotyku bez wargi,
aby te zagrorzenia zostały które miały znaczyć że
zeszły nam z drogi... aby potem tym samym małpim okiem
patrzyć na rzecz dosyć stabilną i sprawdzić istnienie atomowego ruchy
w stajni, między ślepotą a ruchem, mgłą a cieniem.
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2016
and you now see what they made me do? i'd never thought it would come to this, that i had to crawl back to the mainland of europe to find a publisher, because the appreciation of publishing poetry in england is null, nil, zero, nothing, a mustard seed's worth of hope; this mediation of saving the amazon rainforest to save up on paper and the first yawn of the digital age, among cat videos and ****, there you have it, a massive blotch on the intended utility of this **** thing - i'm not even angry any more, just ****** nervous - or as the old writer said in his appreciation of poverty and feeling guilty concerning what he deemed to be his riches (a record collection and a private library): happy trails kids.*

Droga Pani Anno,

przepraszam za popszedni email, mianowicie że był on bez poważnej formy i tematyki, taki po prostu skrutem. Lecz przez osiem lat nie-ustannego pisania, pisząc do osoby w pozycji umożliwienia publikacji wkroczyła we mnie trema opisywania rzeczywitości - tzn. kiedy widze śledząc pisanie innych poetow na internecie - i tą marude znaną jako rozczarowanie jeżeli chodzi o szanse publikacji, nie tylko jednego wiersza w magazynie poetickim, a o całej książce własnych wierszy to już ża dużo można powiedziec o aborcji dalszych i utrzymanych ambicji. Myśle wiec ze 100 egzemplarzy nie jest asz tak nie realistyczne, wiem że poezja snuci swą muzyke dla nie wielu czytelkników, określone najlepiej dwoma obserwaciami: w angielskich gazetach można spotkać recenzje książek na wiele tematów (autobiografie najczęsciej), lecz o poezji praktycznie nic, oraz fakt że nie dawno tylko jedna książka poezji osiągneła sprzedaż ~10,000 egzemplarzy w Angli - a mówie że 100 nie jest nie realistyczne poniewarz na jednej stronie (hellopoetry.com) mam około 40 zawziętych czytaczy - 936 wierszy i wszytkie przeczytane przez tą skromną kadre - a na facebook.com mam 178 znajomych których poznałem czy to na uniwersytecie czy też w szkole. Tak, a więc 100 egzemplarzy.

Mateusz Conrad E.
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2016
ah ******* ęnglishman! ty jedynie Liverpool!

kielce i scyzoryk...
                                                     no i tyle...
korona i gleba -
                                  kacap i świnia -
nagle napoleon
                                                     na capie
                            i tuwim i ja:
kiedy to zadupie zwane
Moskwa wrota
otwiera: jak pizda kurwy
na tle stonogi - fu fu...
co za perfum! czasem wu
casem ef -         ale nie nagle kastrat!
hujnia hu, hujnia ** -
blat blata w komin indora brzuch
wpycha, na siłe, ale jej brak!
no to blah blah blah blah... blah;
apropo(s), tzn. nie
tyczy tyczki czyli upper-long-jump,
      neun meter bach oben;
za grass za grass - uberschiellsewonderbra:
like peeling the skin of a ******* bag:
magician's rabbit in it too!

a ona nadal nie kuma...
holender plu w jej twarz
a ona myśli że mowa
raptem po ceausescu czešku!
škoda / szkoda -
tak samo zwane:
   pie
r*dolenie of chopenie (szo! szu! mucha
                               w uchu! taki oto
                      kwaskowy miód!)
James Humigas Oct 2020
Look at this waterfall
From the top
Consider each drop jumping
.
Joining others in a peaceful stream
.
.
How water flows over and over
.
.
.
That is how I am falling for you
Naturally
{e}motion
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2018
.nie dotykaj ich kobiet... mowie ci... nie dotykaj ich kobiet... to nie twoje, to wprost obcze, i tym bardziej owcze...jak sam, zobaczysz... nie tykaj ich kobiet!

ja nie jestem tu, w ramach potrzeb
ich kobiet, mowić słowo: nie!
ale... ich kobiet "potrzeby"
mnie naj mniej... interesują...
kiedyś... może... nie teraz...
ja, tu jestem...
  po tą kurwe swe znaczą
tytułem: językiem...
ja, jestem tu, po ich             zór!
pizdy w ramach gnoju jedno,
ale jedno nad wszysto..
ich. jęzór?

                          jeniec?
taki jeniec? jaki może być
sam język sam w sobie?
no to jaki, jeniec?!

    to...            to!
a tu...

        tu? tu... teraz hymn.
i to słynne... sto lat!
no, panowie?
co? co kurwa jest?
sto lat sto lat niech
Dąbrowski żyje nam!

            to jest moje: salve regina!
ślepy bładzi, ale ten co pyta?
tym ja, jam tym ślepym...

jam ślepy i tym samym,
jam co błądze...

         kiedy kusić trza...
  to nie tym zorem...
             ale tym, o ile sto lat
zapuźno... jam sobą...
przy twym tronie
tym ten sam.

jam mówie swą krew!
   i tą krew! swą jam: przemówie!
nawet do tych bez
kraju, i fałszywego Pana;

oczy jak iskry,
i mowa jak lustro...

   nawet do bzdet kraju,
i fałszywego Pana:

rój! i cholera nad resztą!

nawet... owszem, Panu,
ale kraju,
ale kraju...
co Panu nic wart.
BML Aug 2013
Zapomnij Aga błędy przeszłości,
Nie myśl za bardzo co będzie w przyszłości,
Co jest ważne jest tu i teraz,
I ma taki piękny wyraz,
Bo żyjemy w ciemnej teraźniejszości.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
going to university was
such a waste of time,
given my social coherence classification
it was actually
an economic antagonism,
the powers at be would have preferred
me to be the muscle in factory work
rather than the brain in something
relating to chemistry,
HAPPINESS IS A SILENT MIND...
well, my mind if wholly ******* static,
how do you cure that?
eat, ****, repeat...
             repeat the eat, **** arithmetic...
seriously, going to university
was a waste of time,
it could have meant something
if i was from Poland, middle class,
relying on skiing holidays,
but it really did't matter...
not now... not ever... educating myself
just meant a ******* laughable whatever;
so... ha ha!
*jak kiedyś żyd o polaku,
tak tesz polak o polaku: wasze ulice!
nasze kamienice!
żebraj reszte! albo proś: panie
zaachwały, Alfons ******...
czekam na paszport na voyage
do Argentyny, i ziew
by oddać rytuał wedle egzemplarza śliny
Turka: kiss kiss... bo taki
jest ostateczny werdykt... ah twe
wzbogacienie, ah twe poliaka wzbogaczeczenia.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2017
alesz ty brat ty mym... co wspomina serce, jeno ortografią... taki brat z ciebie: tym: huj z tobą, bratku warszawiaku! szkic ciebie, na ołtarzu kossaka - frajer z ciebie... ty: gówno wart frrrrrr'a jerze! huj z tobą i pospolite pogawędki! sznór na szczóra! a oświęcim pyta: teraz?! zaraz... za-raz (pierdolona zaraza szwabem ryta)... gazem tylko po dziewiątej.?*

najgorsze wiersze pisałem:
a najlepsze...
puściłem w wiatr!
horongiew reką pisać
to tło narodu...
ten tatuaż historii!
co zwałem mym tchem -
i co nie: na boga kara
i jego zbawieniem ołtarza:
na to: dałem wiare:
swym głosem,
by wiatr znikł, czy też
zamilkł! tym jego
pierwszy ruch bielą w
                                biel
i na tym, pytam:
                   tylko kość?!
nie! wapno! i stolik! i drewna
na sto lat!
               a ta ruska
hydra! ma coś do gawari
by? by wybyć więcej?!
co? ta ruska pizda huja szuka?!
ah... brak jej mongoł:
szkic i ten azjatu: szept!
  wnet pizda tego szuka?!
                    huja wróbla!
   pani! czemu nie tak do-słownie
po prostu, od razu?!
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2017
no, nie wyparzona morda... masz racje dewotko... bo ta morda to pysk psa, a jak każdy dobry pies wie, tak i też: SZCZEKA! WARCZY! kiedy widzi nie-przyjaciela na podwórku swego pana!

dajcie mi ludzie tło!
a ja wam dam
oddech pokory -
zwanym dusze -
i to co zwanym jest
wspólnotą!

   i to co też jest
kroplą potu nad
      brwią darwina
kiedy mrok zaspany,
ziewiający, pyta:
czy jest, czy też był
taki czy owaki naród
pod mą
  "nie-obecnością":
który miał
  tyle tchu *brovado

pytać czy ja,
   a nie on sam siebie,
     w lustrze widzi?

na czele tym co
jest język tęczy -
zwanym
    iskrą,
zwanym
wynagrodzeniem
rozruźnienia
koloru w
     biel i w mrok!
     ronin!       búnt!

fu! pierdole tą
polską ortografie!
  niech bałwan bałwana
a potem osła jebie
mrożonką marchwi!

  
ludzie! dajcie mi tło!
a ja wam dam oddech:
na czym miałem malować
wasz cerkiew,
ten dom, to godło warte -
     narodu:
             i ludu krwi... lecz
nadal nad krew i kości sens
poświęncenia:
                na marsz wedle
                    totem: ambicji!
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2017
cienia krok, króka gambit, czy to samo pochylenie możliwe? czemu w polsce oznacza się na księdza: krzyżak, tu-ton, pruß? a na króka: sen barbarossy, siwa chmura, cień króka taki sam, co króka swoboda, nachylonym chodem, krók: cień przed moim cieniem; anioł stróż wyrytego oka, na-pół ślepego odyna.*

tu stanie twój pierwszy krok -
tu twój chłód tego
słońca zakrytym cieniem -
tu stanie twój pierwszy krok -
iglasty i wypasiony
                wiepsza śliną!
tu stanie krok, cień,
klątwa, gwar, i krók!
               piramida: PO SĄG!
wyryje swe imie w te brzytwy
londu...
      dam to imie tej "nadzieji" -
księga zmartwień,
ja sam, na marną nadaremno -
          z nad boga: o okruch błagać? nie!
       tu, tu, tu: wyryje
swe oblicze z nad zamiarów -
wedle tła: tego, co jest na co dzień
milczący jakby martwy syn,
        przed żywym ojcem -
krzyż - ten ojciec surowy -
czy też syn o krzyżu mówny -
przed martwym "ojcem":
synem wraz mówiący:
              przeklęta ta niby: niewiasta.
Purva Barva Jun 2020
Tu yun na sataya kar e Zindagi,
Teri taklif dene ki aadat se yun to wakif hu mein,
Tu taklif beshak dena mujhe,
Taki khushiyon ki kimat ** mujhe,
Magar itni bhi nahi ki muskuruna bhool jau mein,
Bas tu itna reham kar e Zindagi,
Bas tu yun na sataya kar e zindagi!
Mateuš Conrad May 2022
taki smutek mnie dosiega:
ze czasem tylko wiem:
co to jest... tylko istniec;
a to: nawet nie: myslec!

                   written like the Hebrew niqqud...
hiding the diacritical markers.
Aryan Sam Mar 2018
Ake gaddi wich bethea ha
Taki dil hola kr saka
Thoda ro launga
Thoda gaalan kad launga khud nu
Te thodia jia thuhanu
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2020
.i'd hate to write out a claustrophobia; there was a second who dreamed of Crimea; and who doesn't abhor infatalism; living with parents ensures a lesson in patience... lets regress! the concept of a nation is an infantile game... history stressed is only worth an immigrant's answer... how sadistic the child craves becoming cult.

it would seem that
modern poets never
left an abode
          of the *****
Virgil, free -
  how medium -
paralysed in and to
a strut -
  merely Dante -
                    recompasse -
loitering
             cry enigma
for the peeling
               onion dome
unravelled:
             lacrima dico miror.
moskiev -
  czyn -  łbędzie modno -
o czym: nagi,
             ***'on ******>dni na pal tsym a,
                    rogi snem!
******-da...
        rojter!
              gra o...
   kat w kata prosze -
na sylab a ni słowo -
krew krajna - ukiem cięta!
sfat gila i gnór
ni słowem ni litem A -
szkla rozbitit 'gnem o
   cior...
                   o szkic i
           garb w tonnym
cie... cieniem!
          ku Kjovi,
lwem na Ów..
                     orszak taki -
że nie taii zgób.

_

   well, that was, the draft,
turns out, i can unearth plenty of drafts
i never published,
given the suspension...
such petty narratives are left
for people who almost always
desire a "freedom" to speak,
rather than a freedom to think...

only yesterday, an argument in the garden,
next to a cherry tree i planted...
people your age travel!
they go to places!
they live!
          a constant reminder:
you need to be honest about
your alcoholism...
   sure... i'll be honest,
they other become honest,
   and i don't have to play into
this solipsistic mea culpa *******
as if: i'm not taking responsibility,
as if i am always to blame,
like... my translation of childhood
naivety is not a curse...
because: if i wouldn't trust people,
and make friends,
well, then,
would i just be your atypical psychopath?!
what were the choices:
either wrong, or not good...
wow!
      a grand assumption:
to be governed by laws that only
favor the rich, but slander
the poor...
            victim-who-whom-hood?
did i name, anyone?
am i rat?
       that's what it boiled down to,
that i behaved like a rat,
i said: more like a fox...
no, more like a rat...
   because i like to walk at night,
when i see women
faking conversation
         over their mobile phones...
to feel, secure?
i stalk the predatory mind-set...
    a woman pretends, or doesn't pretend,
to talk over the phone,
while walking home, alone,
at night, as a deterrent...
        i know how this works...
she'll scream into the phone her location...
i'm not interested,
i passed a woman once,
who just, had to, make it,
adamant, i was not to "****" with her...
ever see a running geisha?
i have...
        i mean: a horse needs a whip,
stirrups, reins,
  a woman like that?
who forces you to react,
to give her a reaction against
the canvas of intimidation?
laugh...
       then you'll see a spriting geisha.

and as i write this?
     in the middle of three candles...
my power-saving bulb went out,
i had to resort to igniting three candles
and sit in the middle of the nocturnal
                    Δ(ηλτα)
        or             Δ(ελτα) of "occult" illumination?
i never know which is which...
sure as **** (c)at
                 is nowhere near to (k)aleidoscope
but, hey, it's greek...
         you have eta (η) and epsilon (ε),
you have omega (ω) and omicron (o)
         you have Φought,
                       and you have ΘilosoΦy...
the stories they tell,
  about languages, that do not employ
diacritical markers,
     but insteal have to balance an orthography...
based upon the "quadratic" system,
for the aesthetic to appease "the gods"...
                EE, OO, FF, foe?
unless you spreschen ***-
           -dish, or high hebrew...
          but still... even there...
               א (alef) and ע (ayin)...
          eh, but the hebrews get away with
the fact that they hide their vowels,
in imaginary niqabs...
                akin to diacritical markers...
the hebrews treat their vowels,
like a people, who would apply diacritical
marks to either vowels or consonants:
plainly in the open.
        so some people have gone places,
Egypt, Thailand...
  i've also been to places...
kant's critique of pure reason,
heidegger's being and time...
russell's history of western philosophy...
i've been to place,
   this world cannot offer me,
a source for solace, or for envy,
    i've transcended the globalist
frenzy of people moving aimlessly...
     i went back, to the beginning of the 20th
century, nay, even further...
sure, let people travel,
       i don't mind:
  but as long as they don't come between
me (fox) and the chicken-shack (books),
we'll be just fine...

      mind you, this question opened my
narrative...
   who makes a better ms. amber (whiskey)?
the scottish, or the irish?
i can tell you, even if it's in a ginger ale
mixer...
         jameson and...
    what am i drinking right now?
                 tullamore dew...
   i mean mainstream whiskey...
              these two specimens?
  competing with, what?
          whyte & mackay... as i'm pretty sure
they can...
   but... bell's? the famous grouse?
the whiskeys that are like laphroaig
and smoked salmon?
         the irish are definitely better
at their brewing than the McDoogles...
ol' paddy McGuire figured it out,
amber, looks like diluted honey...
so it must appeal to the sweet-tooth palette!
well... if beer is the gods' ****...
then whiskey... is the gods' blood...
    have i ****** my life away?
sure... i have...
                  but i've also acquired
a capacity to see more in my mind,
than others have seen with their eyes...

as it happens,
   i sometimes return to my native womb
of zunge...
faster than it would take me,
to retreat physically,
   a drive to Stanstead airport,
loitering,
   a 2 and a half hour flight,
moving around Warsaw,
   before taking a 3+h coach trip
   to an obscure location
     and spending a month or so,
loitering with my grandparents,
in between reading a ****** classic,
akin to Prus, or Sienkiewicz.
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
But maybe I am mistaken
And maybe it doesn't matter
Time tick tocks
Mr. Spock socks

All things must pass
Hotel rooms are small
Pain is long
Mr. Harry Wong

The disability money helps
Often unwell, but quiet
Taki service
Laying in my bed. Songs.

Tired.
Don't wanna talk on the phone.
Drifting toward death
Clocks.

            The Year of the Ox

— The End —